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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 05 Dec 2022 13:51 #388957

  • davidt
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 05 Dec 2022 07:15:
No intro.
I’m Back.
In blood I engrave now on my forehead with tears in my eyes:
״יש לי חלק באלוקי ישראל״

היוונים רצו לומר לעם ישראל: לא משנה כמה תחזרו בתשובה, זה אף פעם זה לא יהיה בסדר מצד הקב"ה, הקב"ה לא מקבל את התשובה עד הסוף, הם רצו להכניס ייאוש עצום בתוך ליבות נשמות ישראל - אתה יכול לעשות מצוות ומעשים טובים, אתה יכול לחזור בתשובה, אבל זה לא באמת מועיל במאה אחוז

אומר ה'שפת אמת' זיע"א (חנוכה, תרנ"ח) שזו הסיבה שאנחנו מדליקים נר חנוכה בפתח הבית. להורות שני דברים: האחד הוא שלכל יהודי בחנוכה נפתח פתח של תשובה, פתח קטן אפילו של מעשה טוב גודל וצומח

הדבר השני הוא, הפתח של התשובה לכל היהודים שעומדים בחוץ, להורות להם שתמיד הם יכולים לחזור הביתה, לתוך מחנה ישראל כי אין ייאוש בעולם

לכך באים ימי חנוכה ומזכירים לנו 'גם לי אל' - גם לי יש שייכות וקשר אל בורא עולם, אני לא רוצה לשכוח אותו, ואני מאמין באמונה שלמה שהקב"ה גם לא שכח אותי. אני מאמין שאני עדיין קרוב לאבא בשמים ויש לי חיבור אמתי ונצחי אתו, קשר בל ינותק לעד, והידיעה הזו משפיעה על האדם ישועה 'פדה - צור'

Keep on giving us such amazing inspiration!

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 05 Dec 2022 13:52 by davidt.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 17 Dec 2022 22:54 #389564

  • yeshivaguy
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Long time no speak,
im screwed up.
I have great news coupled with horrible news with triumphs and failures to share. Is there a point though?
Last Edit: 17 Dec 2022 23:08 by yeshivaguy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 17 Dec 2022 23:09 #389565

  • vehkam
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Focus on the good news….
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 17 Dec 2022 23:53 #389566

  • geshmak!
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 17 Dec 2022 22:54:
Long time no speak,
im screwed up.
I have great news coupled with horrible news with triumphs and failures to share. Is there a point though?

Sure!! Tell us everything!! We’re your friends and you tell your friends everything….
im maskim to vekham that it’s good to focus on good news in life but if there’s bad it’s good to discuss it…
דאגה בלב איש וגו׳
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Dec 2022 00:36 #389567

  • shmuel
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Geshmak! wrote on 17 Dec 2022 23:53:
We’re your friends and you tell your friends everything….

Really? Everything?
How many of your real-life friends know you are on GYE?

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Dec 2022 02:22 #389575

  • geshmak!
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Shmuel wrote on 18 Dec 2022 00:36:

Geshmak! wrote on 17 Dec 2022 23:53:
We’re your friends and you tell your friends everything….


Really? Everything?
How many of your real-life friends know you are on GYE?

You mean my fake friends?????
my REAL friends are here on gye!!!!
I know what you mean… I guess I don’t really have any real friends cause a real friend is someone you can tell anything too….
whatever … you get the point! Dear yg post anything that’s on your heart!!!
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Dec 2022 02:41 #389577

  • shmuel
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Geshmak! wrote on 18 Dec 2022 02:22:

Shmuel wrote on 18 Dec 2022 00:36:

Geshmak! wrote on 17 Dec 2022 23:53:
We’re your friends and you tell your friends everything….




Really? Everything?
How many of your real-life friends know you are on GYE?

You mean my fake friends?????
my REAL friends are here on gye!!!!
I know what you mean… I guess I don’t really have any real friends cause a real friend is someone you can tell anything too….
whatever … you get the point! Dear yg post anything that’s on your heart!!!

Honestly, I don't really "get the point", but it's okay...
Last Edit: 18 Dec 2022 02:43 by shmuel.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Dec 2022 03:42 #389579

  • geshmak!
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Shmuel wrote on 18 Dec 2022 02:41:

Geshmak! wrote on 18 Dec 2022 02:22:

Shmuel wrote on 18 Dec 2022 00:36:

Geshmak! wrote on 17 Dec 2022 23:53:
We’re your friends and you tell your friends everything….





Really? Everything?
How many of your real-life friends know you are on GYE?

You mean my fake friends?????
my REAL friends are here on gye!!!!
I know what you mean… I guess I don’t really have any real friends cause a real friend is someone you can tell anything too….
whatever … you get the point! Dear yg post anything that’s on your heart!!!

Honestly, I don't really "get the point", but it's okay...

I wish I can pm u this… but I can’t( I don’t like fighting in public )
So I guess I’ll just post it… you don’t get the point of a person posting he’s struggles???? Like I think it so healthy why should a person keep it to himself??? like isn’t this forum meant to post your bad news and get chizuk from the Olim here?!?!!
please explain what you meant by saying you don’t get the point… thx!
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 18 Dec 2022 07:05 #389596

  • yeshivaguy
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This past week I ditched the smartphone totally bh and used my new kosher phone.
It is the Quinn F30, not to be confused with the Fig phone. It has Email, Waze etc. Highly recommended to check it out.

So I was clean since last Sunday. Longest streak in a long while.
Would like to date, it’s a hard call when to say I’m good enough with my trauma work until then.

Got flu shot Friday so been sick in bed, kitzur, had insane taiva on shabbos to use my phone to message the shiksa who I hadn’t messaged in two weeks or so.

Close to giving in so masterbated rather than chilul shabbos (was hard cuz couldn’t get outta bed so sick).
Woke up like 10min b4 shabbos was over, but opened phone (found out the time when turned it on).
(Been speaking a lot to a chaver of mine who has really stopped keeping shabbos, and I see that’s had a subconscious affect on me)
Started messaging, masterbated etc.
Then told her I decided we can’t speak etc etc, been. Flip flopping.

Still super not feeling well, cleaned room, listened to R Aharon Lopiansky shiur right now.
Going to sleep, hope to have good things.
I gotta delete the shiksas number on my gmail backup too.

Gn
Last Edit: 18 Dec 2022 07:06 by yeshivaguy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Dec 2022 04:30 #389639

  • geshmak!
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Wow you are amazing bro!! And btw your so smart you know exactly what you got do delete her number and stop talking to your otd friend… but now you got do it! So I’m just giving you advice the best time to da it is right after a fall cause you feel bad etc. if wait to long you calm down… so please keep us posted on how your doing what you told your friend like how you explain to him that you can no more have to much to do with him because you want to stay close to H and you realize that your getting mushpah and abt shabbos ( he might laugh at you from the outside but instead he’s dead jealous) and let us know if you deleted her number from your gmail.
keep it up brother! Love ya!
a fralicha Chanukah!!
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Dec 2022 04:53 #389648

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YeshivaGuy wrote on 18 Dec 2022 07:05:
This past week I ditched the smartphone totally bh and used my new kosher phone.
It is the Quinn F30, not to be confused with the Fig phone. It has Email, Waze etc. Highly recommended to check it out.

So I was clean since last Sunday. Longest streak in a long while.
Would like to date, it’s a hard call when to say I’m good enough with my trauma work until then.

Got flu shot Friday so been sick in bed, kitzur, had insane taiva on shabbos to use my phone to message the shiksa who I hadn’t messaged in two weeks or so.

Close to giving in so masterbated rather than chilul shabbos (was hard cuz couldn’t get outta bed so sick).
Woke up like 10min b4 shabbos was over, but opened phone (found out the time when turned it on).
(Been speaking a lot to a chaver of mine who has really stopped keeping shabbos, and I see that’s had a subconscious affect on me)
Started messaging, masterbated etc.
Then told her I decided we can’t speak etc etc, been. Flip flopping.

Still super not feeling well, cleaned room, listened to R Aharon Lopiansky shiur right now.
Going to sleep, hope to have good things.
I gotta delete the shiksas number on my gmail backup too.

Gn

You are putting in an incredible amount of effort. Keep it up.
I'm sick of the Un-scientific approach of today's medical and social environment. 
we will never heal and become a better society unless we realize that all people are addicts. Any thing we do that we aren't interested in is "addiction" and medicine doesn't fix addictions. 

Pain causes addiction and medicine cant fix pain. 

Unless we heal our pain, and become truama conscious so as not to cause others pain, we will never be living in a functioning human society.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Dec 2022 05:00 #389650

  • yeshivaguy
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Fam friends at our house for this week.
In past (including month and half ago) the daughter and I had a “thing,” like staying up late shmuzing for a long long time.
Tonight didn’t seem too interested, though first night here.
Also she opted to sleep@neighbors house with her sister than at ours (though prob cuz younger sis was scared to be alone) so self conscious.
Coming back to my room now I feel rejected/aggravated so wanna take it out with bad vids/masterbating.
It’s stupid. I’m stupid.

Rabboisai, I am funny.
Maybe not so much here on the forum but b’chlall I dabble in inyanei tzchoyk v’yaldus. A shtikl comedic genius as they say.
Prob is I get all these prust jokes in my head and say them a bunch, issue is that I’m supposedly a bit frummer than that, it’s hard though cuz I’m a Gaon in humor.
Ik I can use such kochos without tuma it’s hard though, and I feel so stupid seeing prust jokes associated with me when someone says “that’s something yeshivaguy would say”
Last Edit: 19 Dec 2022 05:07 by yeshivaguy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Dec 2022 05:04 #389651

  • Markz
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 19 Dec 2022 05:00:
Fam friends at our house for this week.
In past (including month and half ago) the daughter and I had a “thing,” like staying up late shmuzing for a long long time.
Tonight didn’t seem too interested, though first night here.
Also she opted to sleep@neighbors house with her sister than at ours (though prob cuz younger sis was scared to be alone) so self conscious.
Coming back to my room now I feel rejected/aggravated so wanna take it out with bad vids/masterbating.

It’s stupid, I’m stupid.

You got everything going for you and everything right besides for the last 2 words, which I herby hand in my unequivocally vehement disagreement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Dec 2022 05:10 #389652

  • yeshivaguy
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Markz wrote on 19 Dec 2022 05:04:

YeshivaGuy wrote on 19 Dec 2022 05:00:
Fam friends at our house for this week.
In past (including month and half ago) the daughter and I had a “thing,” like staying up late shmuzing for a long long time.
Tonight didn’t seem too interested, though first night here.
Also she opted to sleep@neighbors house with her sister than at ours (though prob cuz younger sis was scared to be alone) so self conscious.
Coming back to my room now I feel rejected/aggravated so wanna take it out with bad vids/masterbating.

It’s stupid, I’m stupid.

You got everything going for you and everything right besides for the last 2 words, which I herby hand in my unequivocally vehement disagreement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have everything going for me?
What is the everything and going for me or against me? Whose side are you on here?

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 19 Dec 2022 05:15 #389653

  • geshmak!
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Deleted
Guys the only way were really gonna get help is with H’s help so we gotta beg him for help and he sure will help us cause he wants us helped!!
CRY TO HIM!!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/387630-Powerful!#387630

Feel free to pm me!
Last Edit: 19 Dec 2022 12:13 by geshmak!.
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