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getting started
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TOPIC: getting started 1984 Views

getting started 25 Mar 2019 06:50 #339942

20 yr old bachur in yeshiva
been battling on my own for 4-5 yrs with short stints of success. Just found this website and hopefully will win the battle for once and for all. all the chizuk and tips would greatly help!  

Re: getting started 25 Mar 2019 12:50 #339946

  • Dave M
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Welcome and Hatzlacha!  No matter what, just keep on fighting.  You will have falls, but eventually you will be successful.

Re: getting started 25 Mar 2019 17:23 #339956

  • bego
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I found Yeshiva to be a hard time for me. Too much of bein Hasedorim was Hefker. That made me sad and sadness... 
i would suggest that you try to find healthy outlets even if they are not quite what Yeshiva is all about.
An eitzo - be wary of young married couples. 'Hamayvin Yovin
A thought: I sometimes found my taiveh was even worse for the frum girls. They used to drive me crazy!!!! I'm much older now and look back at myself and laugh. Just try hard. Don't beat yourself up if you fail. Its NOT all or nothing. 

Re: getting started 26 Mar 2019 01:47 #339978

  • ColinColin
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To win once and for all, you will have to have positive approach to life every day for the rest of your life.
It is not a battle that you fight once, an opponent you somehow "conquer", and can then relax for ever.
You have to be in an aware state of mind every day.

Re: getting started 29 Mar 2019 20:20 #340190

bh im in a dorm with no internet access, so in yeshiva theres no issue but at home(once a week or over the weekend) gets a little tougher. bh got my devices filtered and moved all tech devices out of my room to a public place as a geder. so far strong start 

Re: getting started 29 Mar 2019 20:22 #340191

i started the book battle of the generation by hillel s(newish book) which was endorsed greatly ny r shaifer(the shmuess guy). first bunch of chapters are exactly about that. thanks for pump!!

Re: getting started 29 Mar 2019 20:49 #340193

bego wrote on 25 Mar 2019 17:23:
I found Yeshiva to be a hard time for me. Too much of bein Hasedorim was Hefker. That made me sad and sadness... 
i would suggest that you try to find healthy outlets even if they are not quite what Yeshiva is all about.
An eitzo - be wary of young married couples. 'Hamayvin Yovin
A thought: I sometimes found my taiveh was even worse for the frum girls. They used to drive me crazy!!!! I'm much older now and look back at myself and laugh. Just try hard. Don't beat yourself up if you fail. Its NOT all or nothing. 

i think anyone thats on this site is yovin  
playing ball as outlets and helping out around. crazy how much time you have to help and do chesed when your not caught up in it

Re: getting started 31 Mar 2019 00:45 #340198

  • doingtshuva
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bego wrote on 25 Mar 2019 17:23:
 Its NOT all or nothing. 

just every bit counts!
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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Last Edit: 31 Mar 2019 00:53 by doingtshuva.

Re: getting started 05 Apr 2019 17:24 #340426

BH still going 11 days strong, still have yeshiva so its a bit easier but bein hazmanin is gonna have some real intense battles

Re: getting started 01 May 2019 01:11 #340804

Amazing work. Keep it up. I wish i would be able to say the same for myself

Re: getting started 16 May 2019 17:33 #341230

just had a bad fall for a 3-4 weeks... gonna try to recover

Re: getting started 17 May 2019 02:09 #341242

  • Markz
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battle-of-the-gen wrote on 16 May 2019 17:33:
just had a bad fall for a 3-4 weeks... gonna try to recover

Sorry to hear

We live in a tech world

I wish you luck mr Gen-Tech

Simply hit the ‘recover’ button and all s* files and history and cookies and all other junk and bad jelly beans will be erased for good (or is it for bad?? You decide...)
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Last Edit: 17 May 2019 02:14 by Markz.

Re: getting started 21 Jun 2019 06:29 #341858

When I first started with this site, I was doing it all along with a book that helps with these things and I had a good streak going for a month... It was like my perspective on the whole situation was diff and was easily able to stay away. Was feeling great about myself and I thought I was finally over with this ugly habit... But ever since the fall I've haven't been able to get myself back up... Still trying but not easy, any tips to refresh that drive? Should I start the book over or continue? How to get the passion to battle so hard again?

Re: getting started 21 Jun 2019 06:57 #341859

Whatcha bout bein open to your Rav, going to therapy, joining 12 step phone calls, going to live meetings? 

Luckily your still single whilst working on this issue. 
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: getting started 21 Jun 2019 07:47 #341862

  • tzemach
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battle-of-the-gen wrote on 21 Jun 2019 06:29:
When I first started with this site, I was doing it all along with a book that helps with these things and I had a good streak going for a month... It was like my perspective on the whole situation was diff and was easily able to stay away. Was feeling great about myself and I thought I was finally over with this ugly habit... But ever since the fall I've haven't been able to get myself back up... Still trying but not easy, any tips to refresh that drive? Should I start the book over or continue? How to get the passion to battle so hard again?

Inspiration from books usually don't last for too long. To get the strong commitment to dedicate yourself to this goal for the long term, you need internal motivation. You need to get connected to your personal reasons for wanting to change.

Typically, this is done by making a list of the answers to the following questions:

Masturbation
  • What are the pros? (yes, the pros!)
  • What are the cons?

Stopping Masturbation
  • What are the pros?
  • What are the cons?

Try to think about this deeply, so that the answers to each question are comprehensive. It might take a few days...

Then for each item, mark it as either short term or long term.
Finally, review the list, and see if you can reach a firm decision about what you want for your future. Later, even if you forget the details, you'll remember that when thought about this you came to a clear decision that it's not for you, even though it can be so pleasurable.

Later, you can copy all your reasons for change to a new sheet called "My reasons for change", and carry that with you, so that you can have a look at it when you need a motivation boost.
There’s Life Beyond Addiction
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