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Looking for help
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TOPIC: Looking for help 945 Views

Looking for help 17 Dec 2018 19:08 #337877

Hello All,

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m a 28 Year old guy who’s been struggling with this issue since I was 11 or 12 years old. Over the past couple of years, I’ve tried to stop but the temptation was very great. A couple of weeks ago after realizing that I cannot overcome this by myself I decided it was time to meet with a therapist to talk about my struggles and try to find a solution to my problem of masturbation and porn. The therapist I met with advised me in order to overcome this I struggle I needed 2 things ASAP to help me out. FIRST I needed a accountability partner who has been on the same boat as me and who I can talk to when I have a urge and feel like I need to act out. SECOND he recommended I find a SA meeting which I can attend. However, I told him I’m not a big fan of the whole 12 step program because I feel that to artificial, he suggested I find one which doesn’t follow a 12 step program. Does anyone know where I can find accountability partner who can help keep me in check as well as a Meeting which I can attend in Brooklyn?

Re: Looking for help 17 Dec 2018 19:43 #337880

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Hi,

Great steps here!

I haven't heard of SA meetings that skip steps, let us know if you find.

Hatzlacha!
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Re: Looking for help 17 Dec 2018 20:02 #337883

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johnfrumgye wrote on 17 Dec 2018 19:08:

Hello All,

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m a 28 Year old guy who’s been struggling with this issue since I was 11 or 12 years old. Over the past couple of years, I’ve tried to stop but the temptation was very great. A couple of weeks ago after realizing that I cannot overcome this by myself I decided it was time to meet with a therapist to talk about my struggles and try to find a solution to my problem of masturbation and porn. The therapist I met with advised me in order to overcome this I struggle I needed 2 things ASAP to help me out. FIRST I needed a accountability partner who has been on the same boat as me and who I can talk to when I have a urge and feel like I need to act out. SECOND he recommended I find a SA meeting which I can attend. However, I told him I’m not a big fan of the whole 12 step program because I feel that to artificial, he suggested I find one which doesn’t follow a 12 step program. Does anyone know where I can find accountability partner who can help keep me in check as well as a Meeting which I can attend?


Hi John. Welcome. Pretty amazing that you opened up to someone about this. It sound like you are willing to do whatever it takes.  Just wondering, is your opinion of the 'artificial' 12 steps based on your experience actually working on them, or just based on an artificial reading/hearing about them?
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Re: Looking for help 17 Dec 2018 20:24 #337885

Mostly reading about them. there are some parts which turn me off like when they start talking about "the grace of gd" and certain things like that. Dont get me wrong im sure the 12 steps helped a lot of people but from just reading some of their literature it feels artificial and not something that got me interested.

Re: Looking for help 17 Dec 2018 20:33 #337886

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I can see why an artificial look can make it seem artificial .

"By the grace of G-d" turned me off too since I believe in Hakudosh Boruch Hu, not some graceful god. (Interestingly how I wasn't turned off by graceful porn). But some grapes have pits. If you think that S.A. meetings can be helpful for you in getting your life back on track, it would be a shame to let it fo because of some uncomfortable lingo, no?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Looking for help 18 Dec 2018 00:00 #337892

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Welcome 

I'm no 12 step expert , But I would suggest you read up some Dov literature to get some great "nonarartificial"insight into them,  perhaps check out some threads of people who get helped with them - regardless you will gain from reading it.

Hatzlachah to you

keep on posting! 

Re: Looking for help 18 Dec 2018 01:41 #337895

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I personally have never been in 12 steps. I second that listening to Dovs talks may clarify some of your worries, you can probably also speak to cordnoy or a bunch of other people here.

Although I habh never been in 12 steps, I have actually listened to a famous 12 stepper from AA (Sandy Beach) and found his stuff helpful (and entertaining:)

Re: Looking for help 18 Dec 2018 05:41 #337905

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I have no idea about 12 steps as of yet.  
But one thing is for sure, ice cream is good even without whip cream and sprinkles. Start with an accountability partner, keep up on the forums, keep going to therapy, and you can go from there. In a lot of ways (warning: non-expert about to give non-expert advice) I personally feel it's better to start with some weapons, not necessarily the whole arsenal at once. No matter what, it's up to Hashem, but we can feel I tried everything - what's the point.
In this case, don't try everything, go according to what you feel comfortable, make progress, if good, good. If you need adjusting, you know that you weren't fighting with the whole battalion.

Re: Looking for help 19 Dec 2018 19:58 #337923

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You can just walk in to any 12 step meeting you will be very welcomed even if you don't work the steps, we start by staying sober and attending meetings and it works. the 12 steps helps you to recover but if you don't wish to do that meetings will be a great help to white knuckle 

Re: Looking for help 26 Dec 2018 22:46 #338046

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Hi everyone, I'm just about 19 years old and in yeshiva. I've been struggling ever since I was a little kid... ever since I could remember. Sinve as I was growing up I was around unfiltered internet constantly. I very much want to end this lust and have not be taking over my life any longer. But I feel like I may be addicted or I may not be. Im not sure because I have a specific urge and lust towards a specific part of the body very much accessible to the eye at any time. Is there anyone out there who I can connect to or even maybe has the same issue I do plz let me know. I am desperate. 

Re: Looking for help 26 Dec 2018 23:22 #338048

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Welcome freedom18. I am sure someone can help. When I lust I am attracted to women even if they are completely tznius. So I'm not sure your situation is much different then most, but then again it may be.

I suggest you start your own thread. that helped me get started on the path to recovery, which is not a one time fix rather a lifetime of work.

Hatzlocho
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