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10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba
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TOPIC: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 1576 Views

10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 30 Sep 2018 07:00 #335864

  • nedertostop
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ive been struggling with masturbation for about 3 years now since i was about 12 and ive been looking at things innapropriate things since i was about 9 ive realized what a big deal shmirat einayim is and ive wanted to stop many many many times the longest streak ive gone for has been around a month and a half. I just made a neder to stop purposefully looking at women and to stop masturbation and to help me with that i signed up for guard your eyes 5 min ago. i struggle when im bored at home and ill be scrolling through instagram and think hey its ok just search some stuff up in instagram and then i fail and im mad ive deleted instagram but i keep redownloading it. so far i fail keep clean for a couple days then fail keep clean for a couple days then do it all again. beezrat hashem guardyoureyes.com will be what pushes me to stop forever and to never do this disgusting deed ever again. now im gonna go to shul to learn all night. if you guys can give me any tips or things that have worked for you in this type of situation then just reply i appreciate all replies thank you. 

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 30 Sep 2018 07:01 #335865

  • nedertostop
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btw im 15

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 30 Sep 2018 07:16 #335866

Welcome,

It's great that you are catching yourself while you are still young, some of us have spent decades reinforcing this terrible behavior before we came here.  There's a lot to gain from the site, you can explore yourself.
One word of caution however: Don't make a blanket neder not to do something which you may fall.  Look at the guidelines from GYE on the TaPHSIC method to see how you can do this most effectively.

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 30 Sep 2018 08:58 #335867

  • mzl
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nedertostop wrote on 30 Sep 2018 07:00:
ive been struggling with masturbation for about 3 years now since i was about 12 and ive been looking at things innapropriate things since i was about 9 ive realized what a big deal shmirat einayim is and ive wanted to stop many many many times the longest streak ive gone for has been around a month and a half. I just made a neder to stop purposefully looking at women and to stop masturbation and to help me with that i signed up for guard your eyes 5 min ago.

I think you need to see a Rav and have that neder annulled, and then learn how to approach your addiction with a productive approach.

No one can keep a lifetime neder not to purposefully look at women.

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 30 Sep 2018 15:50 #335872

  • Markz
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Hey



Its now 
10min b4 12pm on hoshana rabba 



How was your all nighter??



Im not sure if you need a Rabbi to anul your vow, since we're all mooshba ve'omed in any case. 



Yeah it maybe good to speak with someone regarding Taphsic or other ideas for breaking free



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Last Edit: 30 Sep 2018 15:51 by Markz.

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 03 Oct 2018 03:22 #335897

  • nedertostop
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thank you, everyone, for the replies and thank you markz for asking how my all nighter was. it was amazing baruch hashem. and im very glad to say so far im keeping my neder hopefully it will stay like that with Hashem's help. I don't want to anul any vows yet because I really believe in myself but if i decide to get it annulled it can easily be done cus im very close with the rebbeim in my shul. I really appreciate all the support and replies. how was everyone's simchat torah?

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 03 Oct 2018 05:18 #335903

Hi neder stop,
welcome! Its very brave for you to join gye at such a young age! Wow! 

Like othwrs pointed out it's probably a better idea to get your neder anulled, especially like you mentioned your very close to your rebeim, maybe ask their opinion whether you'll need to annul it.

Even though it's good you believe in yourself, However אל תאמין בעצמך עד יום מותך...

Anyhow keep us posted with the good news and progress!
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 03 Oct 2018 11:50 #335911

  • getback
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Hi nedertostop,

  First, I agree with others on getting you neder anulled. It is very risky to have such a blanket neder for a indefinite period of time. I understand you are confident that you can get rid of this problem, but combating yetzer hara in this area is really a long term battle. Maybe it will be better to set a short term goal first, e.g. getting past 90 days, and then 900 days. 
  Second. I think it's good to explore the tools and resources on this site, also plan out a strategy to fight the habit, e.g. what you are going to do to make your spare time meaningful keep yetzer hara away; what you are going to do when yetzer hara attacks

  I'm also around your age (17). From my experience, instagram, other forms of image social media even sometimes facebook, are no no, especially if you are scrolling without any aim you are leaving yourself unprotected from any untznius things that may appear, it's giving yetzer hara a free shot, feeding it with opportunities to attack you. The internet is just full of untznius things and you can slide down the slippery path easily once yetzer hara manages to convince you for a single second. One rule of the thumb that has worked for me (I'm not saying it solves all the problems) is to always use the internet with a aim in mind. e.g. if you are using GYE, just go to GYE, go the forum, browse the resources, maybe chat with others, then if nothing else just leave the computer. Browsing around without an aim in mind is very dangerous. If you are using social media the same thing should apply. For me I don't use instagram .... etc, I can tell you that abstaining from the applications doesn't hurt at all (maybe it takes a few months to get used to it).
Last Edit: 03 Oct 2018 12:08 by getback. Reason: Adding info

Re: 10min b4 12am on hoshana rabba 03 Oct 2018 12:25 #335915

  • mzl
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nedertostop wrote on 03 Oct 2018 03:22:
thank you, everyone, for the replies and thank you markz for asking how my all nighter was. it was amazing baruch hashem. and im very glad to say so far im keeping my neder hopefully it will stay like that with Hashem's help. I don't want to anul any vows yet because I really believe in myself but if i decide to get it annulled it can easily be done cus im very close with the rebbeim in my shul. I really appreciate all the support and replies. how was everyone's simchat torah?

Perhaps you don't realize that a neder that is annulled still has a permanent impact on your life. I don't know what it will be, but I think you'll figure it out. Don't wait until you have kids to have this annulled. Unfortunately I speak from experience.
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