hi. i am a married man who until recently was in full time kollel. i now am in college and learn part time in the afternoon. i am yeshivish in most people's eyes accept the ones who know me best. to them i am a normal guy who enjoys having fun, playing sports, shmoozing, and also learning. only my wife knows of my struggles in this area but even she is very limited and more in denial so she sort of ignores it. i thank G-d have a filter on my computer otherwise i would be watching porn nightly and more. i struggle with seeing other inappropriate things that aren't detected by the filter and allow these things to help me masturbate and get excited. i get very guilt ridden every time i do it and start beating myself up. i have had this problem of lust for many years now. i think the first time i masturbated was in highschool but i was looking at inappropriate things for years before that. i am finally willing to accept that i need serious help and strength to overcome. the times i have fought and won individual battles was an amazing feeling, but then again so is the excitement and feel of the sexual pleasure and that is my struggle.
- i will b misgaver

Welcome - thanks for the share.

Lets share the road!!

Maybe also work on being a giver - misgiver - and you'll be misgaver ;-)

Welcome and thanks for sharing. There are a lot of good resources here. One major thing that the forums did for me was get me out of isolation. In general and about things that I had never shared with anyone. It can be really helpful. 

Welcome to the place where you will iyh get better. Stay connected, keep posting, and utilize all that GYE has to offer. Hatzlocha.

welcome!
you sound like the kind of guy i would want to have a drink with
your definitely in the right place to get the job done and you definitely could do it 
 hatzlachah!

Misgaver, welcome to this wonderful place, where as HashemHelpMe says, you can find the people and resources with which you can be tremendously successful handling the challenge that confronts us all. While I am in the process of therapy myself, perhaps the most important practical advice I can give you is to remove any potential hidden bottle no matter what. It's not worth the horrible feelings you experience for acting out. You will feel amazing just knowing that you are not putting yourself in harm's way. Feel free to reach out at alwaysresilience@gmail.com if you would like to speak further. Keep on being involved and remember that Hashem loves you unconditionally and wants you to succeed more than anyone in the entire world. You're an awesome Jew and never forget man

                                                                                                                                   

Welcome!  Your story is very common.  Make yourself at home here.  Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.