I feel shattered and very lost!
to make my story short and to the point, I tried doing the 90-day chart twice and were both times quite a few days into it and failed both times, which makes me now to think that I'm a failure and won't be able to do it ever again.
I also found someone here to talk to and was talking to him every day which was a tremendous help for me and literally kept me going but from one day to the next he disappeared and I can't reach him anymore shattering my (already low) self-confidence into pieces.
I also reached out to my local Rav and started talking to him about my Shmiras Einayim Nisyonos but it doesn't look like he understands this at all and he was not very helpful with my situation at all.
I know people don't like complainers, and I'm not complaining over here I just feel very lost and don't see a way out of this, I wish I can get some real truth guidance in the right direction.
I have given up on many good work opportunities because of neglecting my work and every time I want to start working I just feel stuck.

Welcome JOS. I like your username



Maybe tell us who your partner was / is and we can track him down



Maybe share a little more about yourself and what gye tools you began with to keep clean. I don't believe anyone can say counting days is a tool.



Please keep in touch and hey there are many guys you can talk to that can really help. Check the "Free Towing" page below

If you need someone to talk to, i am here for you: dms1234ongye@gmail.com

I am sorry to hear you're having a hard time staying clean, and i'm sorry your partner neglected you for whatever reason. If you want to talk to someone/you're willing to connect with someone, let me know (360gye@gmail.com)

i tried the 90 days chart more than twice and felt like i would never get it right, but thankfully that wasn't the case. there are good tools and great guys here, so there's plenty of reason to hope!

Thanks for everyone's response, I'm already feeling much better and I hope it will get even better.

Would encourage you to check some of Dov's audio talks on the GYE site under "Kosher Isle" then shiurim. Dov has 2 sections of talks - 12 step talks and recovery talks. I have gained so much from them. I myself just started attending live SA (sexaholics anonymous) meetings, have a SA sponsor and feel that I"m on the road to recovery, iy"H. To me the key step was finally admitting that I am a sexaholic and that I can't control my problem but rather have to surrender to G-d. You may also want to email Dov yourself (wequithiding@gmail.com). Feel free to contact me (submittodaymg@gmail.com). The first thing is to get out of isolation - seems that you've already started doing that - just keep it up. Let me now if you want to talk, be happy to do so!!

Thanks for the Chizuk.

Where can I find more information about therapy and live groups?

Im happy to speak to you about live groups. For therapy it depends where you live to find a good therapist. Maybe gye knows some good ones in your area, maybe your rav?

Thanks @dms I will reach out to you.

As mentioned in my post above, my Rav doesn't seem to understand this situation very good so it's out of the question.

I would also like to know if there are any tech guys around here to discuss my filter options, the options from Venishmartem is not going to work for me without going in to details.

Welcome! Long before GYE, I made my own charts and failed every time.   Sometimes after a few days, sometimes after a few weeks, and a couple of times after a few months.  B"H, I have been sober now for over 8 years.  It takes courage.  You may need to join a phone group.  You may need to find someone else to open up to who can help you.

Check out the handbook.  See what works.  Keep posting. 

I know that the thing that worked for me, really the only thing that worked was WORKING the 12 step program (and i'm only on step 3) because that gave me a different way to live and I could exchange lust, for G-D.

I would encourage you to start the 12 steps (with a sponsor) and read R' Shais Taubs book, G-d of our understanding - very powerful, and you will be connected with something much bigger then yourself that will help you.

Good luck and keep us posted.

acceptance wrote on 23 Aug 2017 16:20:

Again, I repeat what I said on another thread. There's a serious lack of information for you to suggest a 12-step program. In addition, the 12 steps work through "attraction rather than promotion." You are not acting in accordance with the traditions by suggesting it to someone. Especially if you don't know him at all.

if  i did the wrong thing, i unreservedly apologize.
can you just clarify for me, lets say someone suggests that you join a program, lets say AA and the guy is an alcoholic, where exactly is he going wrong? 

Shlomo24 wrote on 23 Aug 2017 16:42:

Isn't GYE suggesting SA meetings especially thru phone conferences? I do understand that it's not a one size fit all situation but I don't think it's wrong to suggest it.

Thanks everyone for their Chizuk.