My name is Moshe. I live in a pretty big Jewish community in the US and I have many struggles. I would like to document them as well as hear back from you guys whether it be chizuk, suggestions, or anything. 

I am single and the shidduch scene has been slow for me. I have not found the right girl yet. That being said I have struggled with porn addiction. Recently, I have taken the next step and hired a prostitute.... twice. Ever since that its been much harder for me to control myself and to be single. I am seeing a professional so dont worry; I dont need that suggestion. But I just want to let out my story and not keep it inside. This is the first step in figuring out my situation.

Sincerely,
Moshe

Hi Moshe,
I am sorry to hear you are struggling in shidduchim and very sorry to hear your struggle with porn and the like. It's great you are opening up to us and it truly is the first step to recovery. Different things work for different people so all i'm going to say for now is look around GYE as there are many things that can help.
I am happy to talk to you more about this and connect with you to help you through this,
360gye (360gye@gmail.com)

Welcome to GYE. It was very courageous for you to write so honestly on your first post. Keep writing and stay connected. Its fantastic that you have two weeks under your belt. Obviously you are determined b'ezras Hashem to turn the page and start anew. They must be dancing in shomayim for you. Continued hatzlocha.

Welcome!  Thanks for sharing.  Keep posting.  I'm glad you are getting help.

I'm amazed by your responses and support. This is actually the reason why I'm doing this. Its so good to hear it and be treated like a normal person. Can ppl share your struggle, how you overcame you challenges. It would reinforce that I'm not alone. 

Pornography over the last couple of weeks have not been an issue. But my desire or what I would rather call it.. my drive, has been to actually find someone to have relations with. To the point where this past Sat night I went out with a friend (pls dont tell me he's not a friend) to a club with the hopes of finding a girl. Thankfully I left realizing that I'm not even attracted to a random person. It was a bad decision to go but the positive is that I realized that I dont want to lead a life where I search for sex to make me happy. On the other hand, I am biologically wired, as every man is, to have simple desires. So my question is, How do I view this? Not necessarily from a religious viewpoint but rather from a healthy human perspective bec obviously I'd like to go against human nature. Pls no religious answers bec as a yeshiva guy I could quote them myself. 
Cant wait to hear back from you guys. I am reading everyone response but only post once to twice a week 

Regularjew wrote on 08 Aug 2017 01:22:

How come for porn sites people know exactly what terms to use and express and search

But when it comes to recovery they beat around and around the bush and are more vague than hell

Brother I think you are interested in recovery but maybe you're not cos you only asked for perspective
Maybe you're interested in sobriety but only 3 days a week or maybe not
Maybe there's an interest to do something tangible to stop with prostitutes or maybe not

But I personally am not gonna go back to find clarity on porn sites cos I'm celebrating today 2 years porn site freedom (I had 2 misdemeanors recently but not on any porn sites) thank GD for  GYE and all you guys

Go on, you can do it too ;-)

Regularjew wrote on 08 Aug 2017 01:22:

Thanks for sharing. I think that I have all the answers. But I'm full of sh*t. My experience was that when I took recovery seriously and I used the tools I got sober. I had a lot of questions in the beginning and I have heard your question countless times. I don't know what regular guys are like so I can't answer.  What I can tell you is that all of my questions were answered when I took my life seriously. I couldn't help but notice that you were having an inner dialogue there, answering questions that weren't asked and replying to responses that weren't said. What's that about?

(I'm a single guy in his 20's. You can contact me with my info in my signature if you wish).

Good luck. God bless.

I'm not sure what you mean by "how do I view this?"  Is it messing up your life or not?  If it is, you need to find a way to do something about it - not find a way to "view it" like it some philosophical question.  I highly recommend checking out the "dov quotes" link in my signature.  Especially if you want to know about acting out from a "human" perspective, not a "religious" perspective.

Check your "understanding" at the door.  Recovery is about "doing".  Follow what others are "doing" to successfully recover.

Welcome Regularjew (although there is no such thing - every jew is special!)  Sounds like you have a lot of the questions many of us had when we started. Access the various articles on the site, call real people from here who can help, and keep posting. You will probably start understanding the different mehalchim offered here that work. Hatzlocha.

Do you tell your specialist everything? Also, never heard that marriage helped anyone in this area. (not that you were saying it does.) Anyways, best of luck. May G-d help you and may you have great success going forward. If I can be of service lmk. I'm also a single young guy.