Hi there Klal Yisroel. 

I am a 20 year old Yeshiva Bachur, currently learning in one of the top Yeshivos of America. I, Baruch Hashem am a good learner who am growing in Avodas Hashem.

My issue- the issue we all are struggling with began when I was in 9th grade, today, seven years later, I unfortunately am still working on my kedusha. I however am seeing progress, Baruch Hashem.  

​I stopped speaking to girls (which I have done in the past from time to time), I have installed a filter to my computer, and I am constantly reading Seforim about this issue, with the hope I will soon be finished with this issue- once and for all. 

I want and need your help- PLEASE!

Hey CK, great to have you with us

Please try find a few minutes to read a this famous gye Trucking story ;-)

Not sure exactly your issues, but i am an addict so lust will always be there if i am not working my program of recovery. I am powerless over it. It controls me, it makes my life unmanageable. Only God can take it away. I cant win. I am tired of fighting, of battling it. I always lose. Instead I let God deal with the lust and work my program of recovery

Chaimklein

You wrote "I stopped speaking to girls"

Why?

Why not speak to the girls in a proper supervised environment, find one you like and then marry her?

Far more healthy than avoiding the matter.

I am not ready for marriage yet. 

Great that you are working on the issue now before getting married. We are here to help.

How much work needs to be done before I go into shidduchim? 

If you are going to look at your date as a sex object, probably not the best idea to start.

chaimklein wrote on 10 Jul 2017 03:26:

Great question

Totally upto you

How much work do you want to do?

Just realize that in many many cases it may take the help of a friendly outsider that you're comfortable with

What do you mean? 

How much work needs to be done before I go into shidduchim? Till we pass the selFISH barrier and you can love her - not because she's a fish



Many of us have sunk so deep we don't even realize how fishy we smell

See more at
gye.vids.io/videos/e89bd1be1012ecc460/03-twerski-on-love

If we have some sort of powerful draw to porn etc and we can't overcome it by our own powers, there are greater powers that can enable us to break free

I applaud you for realizing you aren't ready for marriage. I'm not either and I've had solid recovery for close to 2 years. My experience is that sex was the least of my problems. I don't know how to relate to other people in an intimate and healthy way. I don't have a sense of self yet. I have stopped acting out. I don't do it anymore, although I'll probably slip or fall in my future. But that's not my issue. I have a lot of work to do before I can get into an intimate relationship. I need to know who Shlomo is first. I need to discover me and act the way that I want to, not the way that I perceive others want me to act. Much easier said than done, in my case at least. I don't believe there's an objective age for marriage. I think that a mature 19-year old might be ready for marriage and an immature 25-year old isn't. And as much as I am craving an intimate relationship, I am also very happy to be single. I am maximizing my time. I have an incredibly busy schedule and I don't think I would be able to devote myself to another person also. Additionally, I can do what I choose, I don't need to make decisions for another person. Being single is good.

Welcome!!!!
Wishing best of luck. 
Good luck with kicking the habbit and figuring out shiduchem.

Welcome!  We all have this "fantasy" to "soon be finished with this issue- once and for all".  It doesn't work that way.  We can lead healthy productive lives.  We can be free to a certain extent, but you cannot "kill" it so to speak.  For if you did, you would be dead.  And that is not a great place to be .  We can be in recovery (term used loosely) though.  And, that my friend, is a great place to be .

Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.

Chaimklein

How do you know your are not ready for marriage?

Maybe you are?
And by getting married you will be able to have a healthy loving relationship which will fill your natural need for intimacy, a need which you are currently filling by looking at porn. 
Which is not healthy and only provides a temporary "fix" rather than marriage which provides something to build on.