This is my third time trying GYE, each time I just forget about it ...on purpose...yetzer hora at work

in the merit of Rabbi Twerski's refua, I signed up again with a determination to keep in the gye system

I have struggled with this addiction since age 9.
Though I have had few stretches of time where I was able to remove myself from this, I always fall back in

I have three amazing kids, and I need to be a mentch to be an example for them of proper middos

I am under a lot of stress currently, regarding parnassah and the future of my kids Jewish education. And  sadly this addiction has now planted itself right at the front of my mind as a source of relief from my stresses of life.

I blame HaShem I blame myself I blame my wife, my kids, everyone in my life for my stresses that gives me a freedom to continue this behavior in secret and free myself of guilt and shame.

My username is a quiet, low, almost inaudible tefilah to HaShem to Freemeplease

 Because I am powerless to change this behavior and I see no other path than to just keep justifying it.

I'm not clear

Is this your 3rd username?

I understand the shame and the blame

What do you want on the menu today?

Waiters give change here
Change is waiting for you

Whenever you're ready 

Welcome again!  Did you post on the forum before?  What did you try.  Keep posting.

What is this addiction you are talking about ?
You do blame your wife and you maybe right.
Because her role is to satisfy your desires in kosher way so you don't need to stray.

Where is the Rosh Yishivah when you need him

I disagree with the thought that a wife is a seed bank

sheleg wrote on 26 Jun 2017 08:32:

Is that how you interview potential shidduchim?