I agree with you guys, I filter is not a cure all.

I just think not setting up fences is like leaving a playboy magazine on the dinning room table.
Ya, even if there is no magazine on the table I can still look it up online. But to leave the magazine on the table I have to be crazy. 

Ya Israel's fences by Gaza does not stop everyone from coming through. But it slows the flow of those coming through and makes the ones who come through easier to handle.

Guys thanks for all your posts.

I am sorry if I was too argumentative or aggressive. 

I actually love when people argue on what I wrote. After all a major point of posting is to hear other points of view, and to be called out on when my posts represent bad ideas. Also the pilpul on the forum forces me to clarify and modify my ideas to make them most accurate and reliable. Another major benefit of the debate is that it leads me to internalize the concepts. So big thank you to everyone who at any point responded to what I wrote. Whether you agreed, disagreed, thought I was on track, or thought I was insane your feedback really helps. 

Thank you, and I am sorry if I get full of myself, and overly argumentative and aggressive at times. 

Be thankful you never got into the horrible habit of m******  There is nothing wrong with you. You are blessed. Most of us here did this terrible aveira thousands of times - if not more, and then had to deal with the depression and feeling "dirty". Hatzlocha.

I am really stressed and feeling vulnerable. I am not thinking straight. 

bear wrote on 14 Aug 2017 20:19:

Please bear with me
So then how did you recall your login?
Do you have the # for the phone conference

Thanks
whats the phone conference? 

bear wrote on 14 Aug 2017 20:19:

Do you have someone you can call?

bear wrote on 14 Aug 2017 20:51:

guardyoureyes.com/tools/calls

Maybe "Bear" will call "Dov" [Another Captain Kirk encounter?]

Hello Guys,

I have been off of the forum for a little. In the begining was off because I was super busy, though after my time became more free I still remained off. I have not been doing so well. I had many falls since my last post. The last couple of days I have been watching many things which I should not. If that is not bad enough I have also mas******* while watching. 

Every time I fall and read the GYE email that one gets after a fall. I always feel this is getting really pathetic. I should not be getting these emails anymore. I should not be falling, I should of had this fixed a while ago. I have been fighting for so long, yet my results have not been so strong. I am starting to feel overwhelmed. I have not been a teenager for a couple years now, I am probably going to begin Shiduchem sometime soon.  I really need to kick this habit. It can also be argued this has been getting in the way of my school work. My results in this battle have not been too hot, I hope I do not loose my confidence that I can beat this. 

Any Advice or Chizzuk would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much,
Bear

bear wrote on 29 Oct 2017 21:13:

Sorry to hear all you have to bear

What does your Rebbi say

Sorry to hear. Can you pinpoint what triggers?

Markz wrote on 29 Oct 2017 23:26:

I do not have a Rebbi I talk to about this. I never was able to bring myself to talk to one.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 29 Oct 2017 23:30:

My biggest triggers are probably stress, as well as sometimes I am possessed of feelings that I am missing out by not being in a secular college and not being part of what the non frum society does. Those are probably the main ones. 

If you want my advice? I don't believe one can go thru life without a personal Rav

There have been earthquakes in my marriage and without a Rav things would have not settled peacefully... There'd probably have been a volcano or 2...

No one is pushing you to do it, but if you can get outside help - maybe from someone you like / know - it can be very advantageous if that's bearable for you mr bear

I hear you Markz.
I need to find someone I can feel comfortable talking to.