lionking wrote on 11 Jan 2018 19:07:

Here's a thread from the Olden Days discussing this Inyan.

ieeyc wrote on 11 Jan 2018 16:19:

If you're interested in my opinion: I would say that most people who are mbing r"l (i.e. me) are enjoying real sex much more than emjoy mb or s++ t++ (*******), they use it as an alternative & it doesn't necessarily mean that he will want to force (or whatever fancy word you wanna use) his wife, because he may still be a normal human being.
Now to your question; I agree to your answer that marriage doesn't solve the problem.
(BTW, I think that you're a really special person & you do not deserve all that ....)

I traveled today for 3 hours, so before I left I searched in the audio section here something interesting to listen to, I found rabbi feuerman's chosson shiurim. I finished only the first 2 and started the 3rd. I have a feeling that he clarifies a lot of things we discuss here.

Are you asking whether people should assume you’re saying bad things about women because you suggested that such a bachur get married? Some will, and some won’t. 

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 11 Jan 2018 21:19:

Thanks!

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 11 Jan 2018 21:19:

thank you G.S. i hope to be checking it out , just want to say before i read it , when i first saw some of these  sinful  words  , not  saying the posters are  sinful ,but the words are , i really dont use these words in everyday talk if i do say something its usualy in hebrew since its not my mother tounge  and feels more abstract, and the reason i dont use hebrew here is 1. could be not all readers will understand if i write it in hebrew or  hebrew words with english letters ,2.i dont know how to get hebrew letters  on gye. 
i remember hearing as a kid, if you read it ,youll say it,if you say it ,youll do it, when being told not to read scribbles  on bathroom walls. so ******ing(thats" astrek"ing)is for me a harchaka , especialy on words  that are VERY common here and most people know them ,i even got the idea from here,so you can take it or leave it , like it or lump it,youll never hear from me asking people why are you writing out those  words, no not me:innocent:,  anyway be well to all .theres a thread that explains  gye abbreviations like KOMT maybe we should open up  the same thing for *******s -astrecks, again please let no one feel that i look down on them if they use the words that they feel express themselves ,not that  anyone gives a hoot what i think.

In "real life" I was raised to be extremely careful with language. When speaking I avoid words that many consider part of normal daily banter (crazy, stupid, etc.) In general one must have an aidele shprach. This is something yidden have prided themselves throughout all the generations. In Yiddish in particular, an entire lexicon of terminology exists. Example - going to the bathroom - ich gei arois (I am going out). A room that is a mess is called a hekdesh. When wants to curse someone they say gebenched zohl er zein (he should be blessed). However in GYE we speak openly and clinically about sexual issues, be it pornography, masturbation, sex chat, prostitutes, etc. It is part of recovery to get it all out on the table, to shine the lights on it and dissect it. The first time I said the word masturbate (it was on the phone with a chaver from GYE) I shuddered but it was the first step in my recovery, The first time I typed it I did not want to push submit, but I did. When I speak with a new member I immediately break the ice and use all the terminology, and by doing so, I smash the big black well guarded secret to smithereens. Out the door with all that panic hysteria and anxiety. And BH it has not affected my language in "real life" at all. Sometimes I will also use ****** also, but usually when dealing with this subject seriously it is my humble opinion that it is best to be explicit. Any opinions? 

Hashem Help Me wrote on 12 Jan 2018 05:43:

This is one Hell of a p***
I will also a**** that it BadWordDeletedin' shocked me.
kol hakavod! 
And yes, WDHIDFFSWT?

is nerdy around ?can someone tell him that his thread is alive and well and rockin`

Nerdy has been informed.  And this thread the past few days has a lot of great posts.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 12 Jan 2018 05:43:

very well put thanks i feel the same way 
for me sometimes a feeling of lust and acting out was just to think soime of these words 
now they are starting to have no other meaning other than their intended purpose 
thanks for the clarification it really helps

I think that many people are avoiding these words because they are ashamed. In graphology they say that if somebody is not happy with his family he would rather not write out his last name, he will use initial or just scribble it. I think that while I'm avoiding these words I have no problem admitting that I struggle with these bad bad things & don't have an issue talking about it.

cordnoy wrote on 12 Jan 2018 06:15:

What does WDHIDFFSWT mean?

Let me be blunt. when my father first explained sexuality to me it was when i was going to sleepaway camp in 7th grade it was a 5 minute conversation with a bunch of holy torah words. to be honest i didn't understand a thing and my father never spoke again to me about this topic again until very recently. The fact that my father couldn't speak openly with me about this topic instilled in me the fear that doesn't matter how much i'm struggling with this issue it's not something i could discuss with him in the future! and as such i suffered in private and felt very uncomfortable discussing my issues with anyone!  

I think it is crucial for healing and recovery not to beat around the bush and be as open and honest as possible. listen who are we fooling by writing M********** because we are to holy to write it bluntly and then 5 seconds later actually doing the unholy action of masterbation itself.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 12 Jan 2018 17:41:

If I answer that, the mod****or will need to put in asterisks.