Yes, but his question is whether or not that is the real motivation.  I think many times it is in fact denial.  I know that I had a hard time writing it myself.  That's exactly why I forced myself to do it.

I think that for some people (maybe me) there could be a risk that even using the word "masturbation" or "porn" could cause them to start thinking about it, and that can quickly turn into a sort of, "Well... Don't you really want to do that?"

To be very blunt, and perhaps rude, but it's the only way to really express what I am basically saying; Its like saying the word FULL-CREAM-VANILLA-ICE-CREAM!!!!mmmm.... in a location where everyone is on a diet.
That's how I see it anyway, and you did ask for some other perspectives

Why is (almost) everyone scared of writing the full word "masturbation", "pornography"?
It always says "m******, P******" or something like that.
It's like "He Who Must Not Be Named", for all you harry potter fans

The point is, when you are scared of writing it, it seems to me like there's a form of denial going on. Like, subconsciously, you're not willing to admit that you're really involved with this stuff.
I feel very strongly that you should not be scared of saying it, straight out.
Can you imagine a psychologist saying "well, have you ever, well you know, done, um, P&M, YEAH, THAT'S IT! have you ever done P&M?"
If we were clean it would be one thing; I can hear that some people are so distant from it and FEEL that it's so dirty that it's like saying "CHAZIR" instead of "DAVAR ACHER".
But for us? Are we coming from a holy place when we don't write the full word, or are coming from denial?

I'd love to hear other perspectives...

gibbor120 wrote on 29 Aug 2011 16:11:

Not only do I think that for most people, the real motivation is denial, but I think (just off-the-cuff logic) that even if Lashon Nekiya applies here, the value of being honest with your addiction would trump the value of speaking in clean language.

gibbor120 wrote on 29 Aug 2011 16:11:

Not only do I think that for most people, the real motivation is denial, but I think (just off-the-cuff logic) that even if Lashon Nekiya applies here, the value of being honest with your addiction would trump the value of speaking in clean language.

kidushashem wrote on 29 Aug 2011 13:11:


To carry on the Harry Potter analogy (i'm a huge fan), Harry himself, the one who was fighting the evil head on, had no problem saying the word. Everyone else couldn't say it, because they were (maybe sub-consciously) in denial.

So too, we who know the true face of the evil that we face and fight, should not be scared to use the necessary words to express our struggle.

Gevura!

kidushashem wrote on 29 Aug 2011 20:40:


Yes, the torah says ainenu tehora to teach us the value of lashon nekiya.  OTOH, the torah generally uses the word tamei because a person should always teach b'derech kitzarah.  So when there is a benefit, one can use the lashon that is not quite as nakiyah.