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TOPIC: My Story 3869 Views

My Story 08 May 2017 00:48 #312494

  • Confucius
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Hello there.
I am 25, brought up yeshivish orthodox here in NY.
I recently finished grad school and am quite consumed with my professional life/work.
While I made a promise to myself that I would make this journey to living a "more wholesome" and disciplined life once I completed my schooling, as you might expect, I have been having real difficulty doing that.
So after delaying visiting this website for a while, I forced myself to sign up today.
I am not sure how many members on the site find themselves in a similar situation as me but I assume there are at least a few. 
So here goes - 
While I went to mainstream yeshivas throughout my childhood as well as in Israel too, I was always not that in touch with being Jewish. Now that I have just recently completed numerous years of undergrad and grad school at university combined with some family struggles and dealing with a successful yet very stressful work environment, I am for all intent and purposes, totally out of touch with belief in Judaism. I simply don't really care and I don't think that it makes much sense. While I am confident about my belief in a god being the creator of the world, I am a bit exhausted from trying to make orthodoxy or for that matter, general Judaism speak to me. Prior to university I made substantial efforts in terms of going to Aish etc. and at times I felt the connection and it made some sort of sense but now I don't have the time or patience. I guess it is in part because I am just so stressed out about making money and working extremely hard to be successful and reach professional milestones. From a religious perspective, all the talk about porn, out of marriage sex, etc being against god only speaks to be on a very small level.
So... why am I on here trying to embark on this journey?
I do believe in my heart that porn is sick on some level and would love to live a life of discipline where I am in control of what I do. Primarily, my primary motivation for signing up is b/c I am tired of not having control of my desires. I want to live a disciplined life and I am sick and tired of failing in this regard.
I am sorry that this intro is convoluted and and full of errors, I just want to get this journey started. 

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 01:10 #312502

Welcome to GYE Confucius. I would throw out a hunch that a lot guys on this site are tired of not being able to control their desires and are sick and tired of failing. At least coming from personal experience, time and patience are greatly effected by porn and like activities. I was obsessed with accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish in life (for a long time it was spirituality and Religion actually) and I was extremely confused, ashamed, scared, and upset why I was doing these things. But whatever your path in life may be, I wish you success on this journey you embarked to help you on that path.

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 01:53 #312510

  • LifneiHashem
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Welcome! I also grew up religious but out of touch and uninterested in Judaism.  As you correctly pointed out, the two issues (lust and lack of interest in religion) are not dependent on each other. I rediscovered meaningful religious life many years before addressing lust issues. 

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 02:55 #312516

  • yiraishamaim
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Welcome

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 04:42 #312525

Welcome 

Recovery should be with Hatzlacha

Let us know how we can help
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h











very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 04:45 #312526

  • Shlomo24
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Welcome. I think that it's good you realized that your problem isn't simply a religious transgression. 

Hatzlacha.
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 17:28 #312555

  • Confucius
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Thank you for the welcome!

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 17:30 #312556

  • Confucius
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LifneiHashem wrote on 08 May 2017 01:53:
Welcome! I also grew up religious but out of touch and uninterested in Judaism.  As you correctly pointed out, the two issues (lust and lack of interest in religion) are not dependent on each other. I rediscovered meaningful religious life many years before addressing lust issues. 

Interesting. 
Thank you for providing your perspective.
So are you now specifically following Judaism or some other religion?

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 17:34 #312557

  • Confucius
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After a recent stint of successful abstinence from porn and anything sexual, I find that it is more of a double edged sword than I thought, or perhaps I am simply looking for an excuse. I have been chasing both that great feeling I get from living a disciplined life where I am the master of my desires as well as the rumored general great feeling when not partaking in anything sexual, aside from actual sex. The trouble is that recently, after a week, I find that I am a bit jittery and on edge and perhaps that is my mind telling me that I have to do "that thing." Curious to hear your thoughts on this. 

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 18:39 #312563

  • LifneiHashem
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Confucius wrote on 08 May 2017 17:30:

LifneiHashem wrote on 08 May 2017 01:53:
Welcome! I also grew up religious but out of touch and uninterested in Judaism.  As you correctly pointed out, the two issues (lust and lack of interest in religion) are not dependent on each other. I rediscovered meaningful religious life many years before addressing lust issues. 

Interesting. 
Thank you for providing your perspective.
So are you now specifically following Judaism or some other religion?

Mormon, actually. Multiple wives was very important for my religious growth. 

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 18:47 #312564

  • Markz
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LifneiHashem wrote on 08 May 2017 18:39:

Confucius wrote on 08 May 2017 17:30:

LifneiHashem wrote on 08 May 2017 01:53:
Welcome! I also grew up religious but out of touch and uninterested in Judaism.  As you correctly pointed out, the two issues (lust and lack of interest in religion) are not dependent on each other. I rediscovered meaningful religious life many years before addressing lust issues. 

Interesting. 
Thank you for providing your perspective.
So are you now specifically following Judaism or some other religion?

Mormon, actually. Multiple wives was very important for my religious growth. 

Many of us held onto this religious belief before finding gye

Some gave up on that belief as soon as they married 1
My Story---------Dov Quotes


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Re: My Story 08 May 2017 23:33 #312597

  • Confucius
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I was asking that seriously. 
Am I silly for not assuming that everyone on here follows Judaism?

Re: My Story 08 May 2017 23:42 #312600

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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This is a Jewish site... we do have the occasional Xtian, and there even was a Moslem or 2. I don't know if we ever had any Chinese philosophers before. Just go easy on the deep stuff, or you might confuse-us
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: My Story 09 May 2017 01:18 #312606

  • LifneiHashem
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Confucius wrote on 08 May 2017 23:33:
I was asking that seriously. 
Am I silly for not assuming that everyone on here follows Judaism?

Sorry, I assumed you were joking. Yes I found meaning in my Judaism. 

Re: My Story 09 May 2017 03:21 #312617

LifneiHashem wrote on 08 May 2017 01:53:
Welcome! I also grew up religious but out of touch and uninterested in Judaism.  As you correctly pointed out, the two issues (lust and lack of interest in religion) are not dependent on each other. I rediscovered meaningful religious life many years before addressing lust issues. 

Sorry, but it would be great if you can explain a little bit in what you mean. 

 For a second I thought you meant by lust and lack of interest in religion not being dependent on each other sort of like Shlomo's comment that lust isn't simply a religious transgression. But it seemed that you explained that by saying that you rediscovered meaningful religious life many years before addressing lust issues. Does that mean your lusting didn't effect the meaning in your religious life? Are you saying lust has nothing to do with spirituality has no relation? 

So, if possible, can you explain what you mean by
1) lust and lack of interest in religion not being dependent on each other, and 
 2) you rediscovered meaningful religious life many years before addressing lust issues.

I apologize if i'm not getting the obvious.. this is something that has been on my mind. You don't have to get too much into your personal life. Don't want to intrude. 
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