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TOPIC: HELP NEED IT!!! 2681 Views

Re: HELP NEED IT!!! 23 Mar 2017 12:28 #308932

  • cordnoy
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tzomah wrote on 23 Mar 2017 11:59:
r' tzodok talks about teshuveah making you forget and hashem so i'm not sure others would be a far stretch i am posting it here post what you think 
its the last one on the page
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Thank you for the mareh makom; it's nice, but I believe that it's for a purpose, as it's all part of teshuvah. Someone else rememberin' another's sin is not part of the equation, so I do think it's a stretch.

I appreciate the machshavah.
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Re: HELP NEED IT!!! 23 Mar 2017 12:49 #308936

  • mayanhamisgaber
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can't see the whole thing but it seems that he is saying that when one is doing a tshuva g'mura then one is not reminded about the aviera similar to what R' Yonah (I think) says that after a tshuva g'mura the offsprings that came out of the relationship will die/be forgotten about....
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: HELP NEED IT!!! 23 Mar 2017 12:57 #308940

  • Markz
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workingmyprogram wrote on 23 Mar 2017 04:00:
I feel your pain. I've been horribly embarrassed and caught so many times. By my spouse, family, roommates, you name it. The shame is unbearable and there is a feeling that once the trust is broken it can never be rebuilt. But that's not true, TRUST ME!

I got caught by my wife doing things much "worse" than looking at porn, to the extend I needed to leave my family for 35 days and go into a rehab program. I never in a million years imagined that my wife (or in laws or parents - they all knew about it) would ever trust or respect me again but they all do.

Today, my wife is in love with me, maybe even obsessed with me (haha), and I'm far from the perfect husband. When we do teshuva, Hashem not only forgives us and makes the past as if it didn't exist, but he also makes others completely forget our actions and forgive us as well. It's as if the sins never happened.  You'll see.

Now time to move forward.

Cordnoy forgive me for not copying your post, I did that to keep mine short

Imho "my wife is in love with me" is due to your honesty and step'ing up to the plate to recovery which opened her desire to be vulnerable to you with love. 

Nothing to do with forgetting. Probably more with remembering. If she's more in love with you / obsessed now, it won't be due to forgetting

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Re: HELP NEED IT!!! 24 Mar 2017 14:06 #309083

My source is my own experience which is the strongest source I can have.  I also know many other people in the program who have had similar experiences.  If you want a Jewish source, we know that when we do teshuva, our sins become merits.  Maybe that's why the people we have hurt can forgive and forget after we've done teshuva, because the sins no longer exist.  By the way, when I say "forget", I don't necessarily mean that they won't know be able to recall what happened, but rather it won't bother them and they won't see any benefit in thinking about it. There will be total forgiveness, as if someone else did the eveira and not you.
Last Edit: 24 Mar 2017 14:17 by workingmyprogram.

Re: HELP NEED IT!!! 24 Mar 2017 14:10 #309084

Maybe "forget" was not the best choice of words. Of course she can choose to remember what happened, however she chooses not to think about it because it's no longer relevant. It's as if it was someone else who hurt her and not me.  The few times in the last couple of years that it was brought up (usually by me for whatever reason), birth of our reactions is one of almost disbelief, like it was just a bad dream that has now passed. "Wow, can you believe that really happened? Crazy huh?"
Last Edit: 24 Mar 2017 14:15 by workingmyprogram.
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