Hello everyone,

My name is Yossef. I choose this name because of Yossef HaTzadik and his battle against his own yetzer hara. I hope his memory and merit could give me strength and clarity on my long journey.

I’ve been struggling for almost 10 years. I used to stay long periods without falling, but now I feel it is getting harder and harder. Sometimes I feel I have no peace of mind and my body is tired.

But I know this is keeping me from achieving my goals and I will keep fighting, no matter if it takes another 10, 20 or 50 years. I hope follow the 12 steps and, beezrat Hashem, be a better yid!!!

PS: sorry guys, my last post was locked... I don't know why...

I guess the moderator was worried you'd escape...

Welcome!

Please check the 2nd spoiler below for some good stuff ;-)

Welcome. You're in the right place.

First of all please take time to read through the GYE handbook.  No two people are the same, everyone has a slightly different set of circumstances, but we all share this problem and since we share the problem we can share the solution too. The book is written in a general way so it can apply to everyone. I found it helpful to really think about what the book was saying and how it applied to me and my own life.

This is a very common problem nowadays, you're far from the only one to deal with it. The word addict gets thrown around quite a lot, but most people who struggle with this issue are not addicts, just normal people with a normal yetzer hora. Which is good. Some people have come to realise that they really are addicts because their situation got gradually worse and worse despite working on it. When I say worse I mean, in frequency, severity or just feeling worse after every slip. If that is the case we may need more than GYE, which most people find to be therapy or SA or both. But I wouldn't jump to that conclusion about you. Many people have overcome this challenge right here on GYE using the tools in the handbook.

So stick around. Keep posting, keep reading and keep on trucking.

Welcome!  Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.  There's lots to learn here.  You are not alone.

Thank you all for your guidance and support!

Yesterday was a sad day, I failed again... but I will not give up. 

It's amazing how connecting is changing my approach on this issue (Markz, I saw your video! Thank you!). Two things were very important so that I did not let myself fall into despair too:

• My wife's support
• Read your comments

Of corse, I realized that intention is not enough, we need to start int the right way.

Today I will spend my time on GYE handbook (Watson and gibbor120, thank you for the tip!) and limud Torah. While I reading another topic, I remember how delightfull was the study of Sefer Chovot HaLevavot. I would like to drive my attention to such kodesh things. Today, my yetzer hara will faill!