Hayom Yom 0

Hi everybody. My name is HayomYom. I hope to start counting my days, and making my days count.
(...yeh yeh, one day at a time...)

Obviously, I'm here cuz I suffer from lustaholism, and I want to get better.
Based on my analysis of my failings, I need to adhere to the following guidelines:
1. Avoid looking at forbidden/triggering images of any sort.
2. Avoid touching myself for pleasure anywhere close to the 'sensitive area'.
3. Avoid any form of dressing or undressing for lustful purposes.
4. Avoid lying on back or stomach (even partially).
5. Last but not least: Avoid unnecessary internet usage (hard to define, but the heart knows...).
Oh, and another very important guideline: Avoid triggering thoughts/fantasies (hard to quantify, but the mind knows...).

I hope to update regularly (if not daily, at least weekly).

GitShabis!!

Welcome to GYE!
Brocha vhatzlocha!
and Good Shabbbbiissss

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KOT!

Welcome,

Nice list.

B'hatzlachah

Markz wrote on 25 Nov 2016 16:32:

Test

Welcome! That is quite an ambitious list you have made.

Obviously you know yourself much better than I do, so I am not here to critique, but rather to observe. I do find for myself, however, when I have too many "red lines" that are easy to cross, once I cross one all the others go out the window too. Perhaps make an effort to do all those things, but set more minimal "red lines" for yourself. Also you should probably think thoroughly for yourself what unnecessary internet usage means, before making it a guideline. vague, ad hoc determinations of unnecessary will never work, because you can always convince yourself that you have a purpose when you want to.

Baruch_Hashem wrote on 25 Nov 2016 17:05:

 mr. B"H
 how has recovery gone for you?

Oh, and I disagree.
Minimal red lines sounds like half measures and those are usually pretty useless.

B'hatzlachah to all.

cordnoy wrote on 25 Nov 2016 17:27:

1) My recovery has been working great for me so far. I am 22 days clean and am looking forward to many more ahead. Thanks for asking.

2) I did not suggest taking half measures, I agreed that he should pursue all of those items on his list. For the purposes of my answer, I will refer to the list as if it is my own.
Without getting too graphic, I could very easily imagine finding myself in the shower cleaning myself up, and find that I touched myself in a way that felt good, and perhaps even continue for an extra second or two when I know I should not. If I had made a rule for myself that "I will never touch myself for pleasure in sensitive areas", I would be disheartened by my failure, and get the feeling of "in for a dime in for a dollar." If on the other hand, my "red lines" are limited to actual falls, and I just use the list as fences to avoid getting close to my "red lines" I would have an easier time pulling myself away and stay clean.

As I clearly said in my post, that is how my brain works; I would imagine that different people would find different methods work for them. That is also why, I did not say that the posters idea was not good, but rather he should look into his own nature and determine what will provide the best chance of success for him. 

What color is red
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       

Thanks everybody for the welcomes. Looks like a vibrant community around here. Anyhow, I hear the points being raised. Turns out that I did spend many years trying to figure out what works for me and what doesn't. I clearly need all these strict red lines. Without them I wouldn't last a week. With them, I have managed for months at a time. So I figure that with the additional tool of sharing my progress report, I should do even better be"H.

As for the 'vagueness' in my rules, I actually have established more precise definitions, but for the sake of brevity, I was mekatzer. Iy"H time will tell whether this approach will work for me, or whether it will need to be changed.

So thanks again for caring, and I hope to continue sharing.
Keep in touch...

HayomYom wrote on 25 Nov 2016 18:13:

Thank you for the clarifications. As I said earlier, I did not and would not suggest that I know what would work best for you. Good for you that you know yourself well enough to know the best approach for you to take. 

Here is to wishing you continued long term success. I look forward to hearing about your progress. All the best!

Thanks BH. And one more clarification. My many red lines are only 'gedarim' to prevent a fall. If I should feel I overstepped my bounds (e.g. your shower moshol), that should not lead me to 'go all the way'. Aderaba - that slip should serve as a reminder that I am heading in a bad direction and I need to stop while I'm ahead.

Eventually, look into yourself and see if there's any tune up necessary.

B'hatzlachah

Hayom yom 2

B"H so far so good. May it continue...

One episode to share: I woke up early yesterday morning and found myself alone. B"H I was able to refrain from anything foolish, until another person woke up, whereupon I was able to snap back to reality and go on with my life. May Hashem heal us from all our sick shtick, and may He save us from falling into the nasty traps of our imagination.

Are you under the care of a professional?