Hi guys,

Not really sure what to say, I don't really have an addiction to the Internet so not sure if this is the right place for this post. I don't watch porn ever....
I would say my problem has to do with being single and alone far away from my family with not many friends. I often feel depressed and that I am very inadequate at everything I do. I magnify the struggles and failures that I have in my Jewish observances to the degree that the successes don't count in my eyes. Then the failures seem to color and outweigh everything else. I can get more specific just not sure what to say yet... 

Welcome!!

How about you say not what you will not say, rather what IS happening with you.

No one knows you, so go ahead, we're listening 

Welcome!  You must be acting out in some way, or you wouldn't be here, right?  Can you tell us more?

Hey aawic613,
welcome to the forum. Everyone here is willing to listen to you and help you out in whatever way possible. You should not be hesitant to tell us anything, we don't know you and we are only here to help one another.
Speak your mind

Welcome to the group aawic613.

Is there ever a wrong place to go to get encouragement? Because I guarantee you will find that here. Honesty is here too. Let us know more. And, remember your never alone (Eliyahu).

Well, here gones nothing, some more information about myself.
I'm in grad school currently, we have tests and studying all the time, right now I have midterms, even one the day after 9th of Av. I've been trying to do some dating lately but it hasn't worked but I found a good shadchan so that helps. 
In the past I went out with a girl who got me excited, but also I didn't know how to control myself, she wasn't so frum so when I tried to touch her(it kind of just happened over time) she didn't stop me even though she knew it was wrong. It made me feel very guilty as I always think of myself as being shomer negiah. In the end , after like 9 months we broke up so that ended and I've been shomer since. 
I also have an issue with masturabation. It really kills me, and makes me feel very depressed. It kills my self image and any feeling of closeness to God. But sometimes the desire is too much and it's just the way my body works (that's how I think). I have needs, sexual ones, it's not like I can deprogram my brain until I get married. That's just why it's so tough. I agree that I shouldn't do it, but that's not enough to make me stop.
I guess that's enough for now. 
I've seen therapists in the past for low self esteem, social anxiety, and slight depression, but I never admit to this since it's too embarrassing. I told this girl I was dating about it, but I regret that now, I just wanted someone to talk to, but she had no good answers. I asked a Rabbi once what to do when you want to touch a girl that you're dating, he said it's natural and you have to try your best not to. That's the best answer I got.
Thanks guys for your support(sorry if this post is a little disorganized, there's just a lot on my mind these days)  

A lot going on for a young guy 

I don't know if it's all relevant to you, but you may gain from reading the TT link below in my signature

KOP

Welcome. Sounds like you're going through a rough time. You were pretty articulate in describing why masturbation harms you. I completely agree that people have sexual needs and we can't turn it off until marriage. But we have to be true to ourselves. If masturbation is really harming us, then it could be affecting another part of our human and moral makeup, not just a healthy sexual outlet. I know for me that loneliness is a big trigger for me and I masturbate when I isolate. Developing a social circle can help that. Even just being outside is better than being inside. 

Also, this forum is inaccurately labeled. It is not exclusively for addicts. The vast majority of people on the forum aren't. So make yourself at home. 

Hatzlacha Rabah. 

Something I could suggest in regards to dating (which I think is way overrated) is to always have someone with you when you and your date are together, preferably another couple for comfort. That will help a great deal when it comes to touching, that is if he/they are desiring a closeness to God as well.

Be strong friend, and don't forget we're all here for each other. No shame here.

Thanks for the support and advice everyone! It's true that feeling lonely and being without a social support group makes this a lot harder. I'll try to get out more and look for other outlets to feel less stress.