To whom that feel they can help...

I'm a guy in kolel (married 5 years bh) and 28 years old.

Been suffering from Internet and viewing inappropriate stuff since I'm 15... With lots of ups and downs I normally created a situation where there was no access available, in yeshiva or at home (as married) with no internet. The problems normally were bein hazmanim when there were different ways to access (a brothers iPod with films, Internet). I could have free breaks for months at a time and even longer. I usually tried the musar and chizuk journeys. For example Elul and shouvavim have alwWays been clean times for me. 
However after reading a couple of guys stories and falling in badly this week, i came to the conclusion that although I feel like I am a normal guy the yetzer hora has his way that he lets be mechazek for a long period of time and then he'll catch me on a one off and again I sink for those few minutes. 
I want to find a way to end this nisoyan.

A similar story to mine

I hope you see the way of gye all the way to real recovery. Unfortunately many guys that register don't find it

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!

I share many similar experiences with you. I also have an irrational infatuation with my sister in law, and I eventually realized that I have a more serious lust habit/addiction than I always thought.
Welcome.

Hi there,
I'm also married and in Kolel. I don't know of anyone who has ended this nisoyan, but I, and many others, have received tools to deal with it. I think that as long as you're sexually attracted to women (or whatever you're attracted to), you'll probably still feel a 'pull' at times. There's nothing wrong with such a pull - it's actually healthy and good. The question is whether you are overwhelmed and controlled by it. If you're looking for tools that can help, this is a great place.

Not sure what to share really.  Had my first viewing at age 11 and have struggled since.  Ruined a marriage and want to keep it from preventing the second one.  Thirty years later I still struggle; even though I have done 2 other programs.  Tired of being a liar to myself and others.  Ready for real deliverance from the only One who can deliver me.

It really helps me hen I realize that there are many people out there in the same struggle, but what is more inspiring is the fact that there is also a group of people out there who want to deal with the struggle and not let it ruin their lives.  Everyone of you guys help me every day and I hope that you guys feel the same

Walk Of Freedom wrote on 02 Aug 2016 17:20:


Out of curiosity- what two programs did you do?

Welcome!  You are not alone.  I don't think you can "end this nisayon", but there are tools to help deal with it.  Check out the handbook.  Keep posting.

im also in kolel. btw.
i think we all wish we could end this nisoyan for once and for all, at least i do

Could have written your post myself. I'm that "tzadickul" that my parents didn't need  to filter there internet for because i would "never" do anything wrong with it. Btw does your wife know? I just feel like mine should be a part of my journey but am to afraid......

Welcome tzadikle (Maybe we are brothers cause my parents are the same)

Check the free towing page for sharing with wife discussions

Its not recommended on startup to recovery. First try as I did BH to have a "clean streak" and then...

No eslaasos, I didn't say then you should open to her. Each marriage is different and if your Rabbi / Marriage counselor approve then...

...You can think about it


We are obsessed with guarding the eye when it's more often lust and selfishness and other traits that are at the fore. 

Part of recovering from lust / selfishness is replacing the selfish with a gyefilterfish and of course that's not the thing that will keep us from porn it's only a fence

But lust / selfishness is often deminished by defualt if we work on our marriage eg doing things for the wife out of caring, not leshem lust. See for example what Bigmoish wrote here