Exactly, why do you have access to all this shmootz put them behind bars lock'em up.
You'll be a greater hero my friend if you install the best filters not if you don't and you manage to hold back once.

ok-
so im a little confused here.
if the answer to all the problems is- hey, get a filter!
the why do we need gye?
lets shut down the site and only offer filtering apps.
oh, right, bc thats not the anwswer...

for the record, i do have a filter, but as we all know there are ways around them.
and if the answer to that is- hey, get a stronger filter!
then im not rly sure why im posting here.

this is a nisayon. its complex.
im not always strong enough to make the right decisions that need to be made.
not everyone can understand that. thats ok.
if i fall again, hopefuly i will just dust myself myself off and get back on the truck;)

and bh i managed to "hero" through another night!

You're 100% right

And IMHO that's why if you click on the dropdown for "Filters" it takes you out of guardyoureyes website.

Needing filters is not why most of us are here. We all had that before gye...

I personally don't have a filter, other than corporate firewalls that block what they consider inappropriate.  No question, filters aren't the answer.

But putting the computer out of easy reach at night could be helpful.
I need to know my limits.  I know that if I'm alone with a computer late at night I'm gonna lose.
The best way to win this fight is to stay out of the ring.
That's what it means to admit that we're powerless over our addiction--once we're holding by "fighting it" we're done.  

But sometimes we're not really ready to truly give up lusting.
We need our drug within reach.  Just knowing it's there is soothing.

Not as soothing as making the decision to lock up the diseased prostitute so I can sleep peacefully. 

Once we install a filter we need GYE to boost us to stay with it.
It's that simple.

Ziet mir ale gezunt.
A frielichen Shabbes.

hi all;)
b"h keeping myself clean -

i stayed totally offline these past 24 hours as a zchus for someone.
im glad i did it...

wow, ok - here i am almost a year later...
a roller coaster ride like im sure we all now...
one month clean, fall, a hellish yomim noroim, a winter mixed w highs and lows.
falling in and out of society, pretending everythings goin gr8 to the world while inside ur questioning ur sanity...
hating urself, hating urself for hating urself, mad at hashem (the ssa makes everything all the more loaded)
i became pretty good at balancing my two extremely different lives (frum solid gr8 top well rounded successful (!! ironically enough...) yeshiva guy by day and endless chatting, camming, porn and masturbating by night)
i stopped caring. honestly. life became to complicated to deal w and i just did whatever was expected of me and asap returned online.
im not really sure what happened now bc i was seriously contemplating going further down this path (vhmayvin yavin) and now im finding myself 2 days clean!
tbh i still have internet addiction bc thats how im dealing w my matzav now (i know its wrong and im starting to work on it too among other improvements i made in my life this week) but i didnt chat cam watch porn or masterbate - which i tried to do for a while but never materialized and im utilizing this opportunity to "Stop Stopping and Start Living" (i love that line!;-) 
i started a 90 day chart and i hope that i have the koach to keep this up.
being that ive been thru all this already i am slightly nervous to begin posting again bc i know i can fall so bad so fast - especially bc i do need to fix up other things in my life- and i might feel worse for going "public"...
either way - theres plenty of more work to be done and im looking forward to doing it but while the first day was easy the 2nd was tougher and today im feeling strong lustful moments of just needing a peek, rationalizing that i can always start tomorrow over again or that looking isnt so bad if i make sure to keep my hands away etc... baruch hashem so far im able to let the emotions pass but honestly its a lot harder than i expected. its so ingrained in my system after this year... hopefully posting will help me...

Welcome back  

WorkInProgress26 wrote on 16 Jun 2017 00:55:

Stay connected and keep posting. The oilam here is going to shlep you out of this mess. When you have the urge, post! Hatzlocha.

Welcome back.

Not sure how I missed you the first time around.

WorkInProgress26 wrote on 16 Jun 2017 00:55:

Hey bro

Its not "Stop stopping Start he Rollercoasting"

"Start living" - criteria #1 is bonding with others (See an astounding rambam avos 2:11)
       [now it's 1/2 later after walk with the wife and back to typing]
Connecting with others for me is to a large extent by word of the text. I don't believe that's the way for most others

Reach out like the gye mascot does and connect with other people off the forum



Or maybe he's reaching out to post on gye with a cellphone????

Hey Workinprogress26,
I relate a lot to what you wrote at the end, about thinking I will just start again tomorrow, and about how difficult the first few days are. What I try to think is that if I watch today, I will only make my challenge with the internet harder , and  I will strengthen the bad habit in me. And I tell myself if i watch today I am setting myself up to fail tomorrow. The beginning can be very hard, because you feel like you are not on such a streak and you have not really lost so much if you fall. Also beginning is harder because you brain is much more used to all the hormones it receives when you watch. And therefore when it does not have all the flying hormones it feels like it is lacking. In regards to both though, the good news is the longer you fight the easier it gets. your brain rewires because it is no longer expecting the hormone rush and you have a streak and you feel like you have invested much in your progress which makes you more reluctant to stop fighting.

Also if you Chas Veshalom fall. Remember there are Tzvey Dinnem(2 categories) in regards to falling. There is the person who falls but keeps up fighting, and there is the one who falls and lets it get to him. Le'mushal one running back gets tackled and the drive ends, the other falls - but falls forward to get the first down. Also by pitchers ya, some games might be a perfect game or a no hitter. And sometimes the person gives up hits or even home runs but keeps on fighting to win the game. Remember if someone ends their clean streak, that does not mean they end their fighting/success/hot streak. I told myself this after a fall, to try to remember true I fell and it sucks but that does not mean I lost everything I gained from all my previous progress. It is not an all or nothing. Every effort you put in will help you break free, and increase your assets in the world to come.

On an aside I read above the filter debate, not sure it the discussion is still relevant. though.... I agree to both sides. Ya, a stronger filter alone  will prob not solve your problems but it will probably help. I would also recommend accountability software (maybe webchaver). True you prob can find a way  around all of them. but from my personal experience there were times were I was trying to go around them, and realizing that i put on a filter because i do not want to do this, stopped me. It also makes it less easy to watch. I also think just putting in the time to work out what is the best filter and best accountability software and installing them makes your fight mean more to you. The more you put into something the more it means to you.

Also just want to say, I really admire you for fighting with a SSA challenge. You inspire me, you have a challenge that is stressfull in so many ways yet you keep on fighting. 

Wishing you much Hatzlacha. Your name is work in progress. Which you are. but you are someone who is like aging whisky. The current whisky is allready a valuable product ready for use, but as the time goes on it becomes an even more valuable and enjoyable product.  You are currently someone who has a lot of value, and like whisky as time goes on you only become better. 

thank u all for welcoming me back - it helps to know that somewhere out there are ppl who care!
@markz - i reached out again to someone who i was in contact w that i found here (i was little embarrassed to suddenly resurface after my disappearing act but gotta move forward...) hopefully that will also help me.
@bear - thank u so much for the end of ur post. just for the record having ssa is hell! (just clarifying lol)
the last 2 paragraphs made me feel um, you know, uh, kinda warm inside;)
thx for being a gr8 hallmarks spokesman
moving on- i have a non-relationship w my father (not a bad one, just not one at all, pretty much only spk when we meet eg yom tov) so today bolstered by the support im getting here i gave him a call, wasnt much, just a good shabbos and a literally 3 min of shmoozing but its def a start! im happy i did it.
long fridays are very hard but im almost thru it!
have a gr8 shabbos all!

WorkInProgress26 wrote on 16 Jun 2017 22:20:

Thanks for sharing, dude. I hope you get the help you need. I relate to your story. 

You say SSA is hell, why? (I have homosexual attractions, by the way).

i woke up today a little later than i wud've liked (aka stayed up too late online...) but thats ok (nothing bad and dont want to work on too much at once)
i also called in today to jonathons ssa call.
To me, ssa is a very highly personal (both meanings; private and specific) situation, especially for frum guys and im still wrapping the call around in my head (it was good btw) but its hard for me to hear it talked about it so factually whens its such an integral and compilcated part of me.
who says this is all gonna work?!
what i came out with from the call was more that in order to succeed in this nisayon (double life and ssa) im going to need to work really really hard. im going to always have to be on top of my game. bc if im not activally fighting or working on myself then im automatically gonna slide, lav davka horribly but still its gonna creep in and ill go down a notch. eg. there are so many opportunities on the street... (my rebbe once told me that a person is constantly in motion, whether he realizes it or not, and hes either always moving up or down)
well, that sort of scares me!
i kinda feel overwhelmed right now w all this.
i also called a therapist today and left a msg (he didnt answer) to set up a session b4 i change my mind. yay me!! lol
also just to clarify- things arent so simple in my life right now (i know, i know everyones lives are crazy... and i used all this just to numb my mind from dealing w the situation and even my feelings for it bc if i let those feelings in than im gonna have to deal w a heck lot more. 
thats why i still spent 2 hours more than i shud've last night online and im gonna deal w that too and all the other crap in my life but gotta do it in bits.
i dont claim to be gods gift to mankind (not yet at least! lol )