Hey Everyone, 

Like many before me, I was here, left, here, left, and now I'm back again. I'm using a different name right now (because I deleted the other email), but to make a very long story short (also because I don't want to be a trigger for anyone else), I'm married, with 2 kids, and I'm an addict. I've seen prostitutes, I've met people from the internet, I've been with other people, the list of insanity goes on and on.

I actually stayed sober from July - December (6 months!) the longest such period of my life since the insanity started. But that's the addiction - once you think you have it kicked it kicks back harder and even more powerful, which is exactly what happened. And so I'm back in therapy with a really good therapist, and I'm back here to get my life back in order. I know more than ever that I need support, I need friendship, I need a sponsor. I'm determined to beat this, and become the man that I know I can truly be.

Thanks for listening and reading.

Welcome back!

Im guessing your previous name was Moshe '301', and you got re-directed
(Pirush rashi? Google '301 redirect')

May you succeed with your new name!!!

We are here to truck together!!!!!

Welcome Moshe, 

Wow! 6 months clean from what seems to of been a hefty habit,   that's quite a feat.

Welcome back. 

If you don't mind me asking, (always trying to educate myself from observing other warriors)  how'd you stay clean for 6 months, and what do you think allowed the relapse?

Best wishes,  
Yesod

Hi Yesod, 

I heard this guy speak at a convention about the importance of keeping your promises. The website is becauseisaidiwould.com I think. I felt that this was a promise that I had to keep and so I did.

Anyway I have a hard relationship with my wife, whether or not we should be together is an open question. In November and December she went a little nuts and it triggered me to go online and look for someone to talk to. That in turn led me down the path I was on before, or perhaps even worse than before. It's not her fault, it's my fault, and I don't want to make it seem like I blame her for what happened, but my relationship with her is a big key to this whole thing and is the trigger that makes me fall most often. But at the end of the day it's on me and this is my responsibility. 

Check out the website, it's really inspirational and has a great message. Too bad I couldn't make it last, but I will never stop fighting!

Hey! Welcome! Yes, I also was here and left and came back with a new username. I got too comfortable and thats what happens. 6 months is incredible and I never even reached that! It goes to show that we always need to be on our guard. I made a commitment to be on GYE for a certain period everyday and to post somewhere on the forum once a day. This is God please help me until I complete my 90 day journey and I am planning to re-commit then as well. This is all in order to stay connected to what will A'H heal me and A'H keep me heeled.

Looking forward to more posts from you! 

Welcome,
Welcome back.
If you were here within the past several years, I probably welcomed you then as well.
There is stuff in your story that I relate to well. Your path to recovery should be paved with hatzlachah.

Welcome welcome! Your determination is incredible, if you keep it up than you will get there.

We have been down the road of "I already got this under control dude, I don't need anymore help" and we all got our fan belts snapped afterwards.

It's great that you are doing this to have a better relationship with your wife, it will be better if you do this to have a better relationship with yourself and Hashem, but the bottom line is keep on trucking with a good fan belt.

Chazak V'emutz

Welcome and join the club! I was and still am exactly in your shoes.

So then it's time to change the socks

markz wrote on 02 Mar 2016 21:23:

Oh, so that's what's been smellin' 'round here.

Thank you all so much for your kind words. We are all in this together and it's important that I realize that. I am not alone, and together we can conquer this enemy and make a real tikkun that will change the world. Thank you so much. 

Hey Moshe, sounds like you have some challenges in your life,  sorry to hear,  but hey when people say "all is great and i can't stop" lusting, they sometimes don't know what to do. 

I hope you find a good advisor, and you find some answers and some strength to bring you to the next level,  cuz everyone who comes back,  takes it to the next level.  ?

You may want to join us on Cords daily call at 120 est, check it up in the phone conferences section of the site. 

I'll check out that site next time its legal for me to be on the computer,  i made this ridiculous promise (!) To not go on unfiltered comp after 11. 

Welcome to the fray, fill us in,  and let us all help each other
 

Welcome back Reb Moishe.
WOW 6 months clean. Your story hits home as it shows that this is a lifetime commitment. I will never ever be able to give up my meetings and other efforts or I will crash.
The good part is that all my new efforts are improving my life and marriage tremendously besides this ugly beast so I am not feeling weighed down by my program.
May HKB"H grant you great hatzlocha wherever you turn.

Welcome!
Just the name of your thread is inspiring me.

Moshe302 wrote on 03 Mar 2016 01:29:

Yes, being here together is key. Fighting this addiction alone is very tiring and won't last. I have seen that first hand. GYE is creating an army that through changing themselves and helping others, will A"H change the world.
Keep us posted and connected!