Hi I'm Marc and I'm 22 years old and single. Since I was 15 I've been struggling with pornography and nver really overcame it a little. Even in school in Israel we had contests during the weeks of shovavim and every year I did it but I always failed. I was to embarrassed to tell anyone so I lied and stole money. I want to get married soon but I can't untill I over come this addiction I need alot of help. Thank you

Hi Marc and welcome.
you have definitely come to the right place to get helped. I was in your shoes (maybe worse since I was first exposed at age 9 and didnt even realize what I was getting addicted to then).
I went through years of struggle, failure, depression with a small clean streak every now and then but really always thought I would go to the kever with this secret. Reading the GYE handbook gave me a new lease on life and implementing the tools there really does work. I was at a point where lust was a permanent companion ( and I am a full time yeshiva guy with limited access to the net but still couldn't shake it off). But using GYE I am now totally clean! Hatzlocha rabbah with your journey!

Welcome Marc,
I can definitely say I understand you, I've been involved from age 10/12/13 different stages. One thing I can say has worked for me, besides for the obvious going through the handbook at a leisurely pace, the one thing that has kept me going is treasuring every second of victory, and it's kept me up I'm 14 days clean already, with Hashem's help you"ll catch up very soon.

Thank you for your kind words. With hashems help I will over come this. Just where do I start its a very over whelming step

Welcome! You're in the right place. Everyone here has a similar story to tell, so don't feel too bad. The important thing is to make positive growth and learn as much as possible.

Just start by taking your personal homepage step by step.

Welcome Marc,

You have come to the right place. The big Question is where do you start? First, You started already! By coming here you started out your journey, and by posting here you took step two. What to do now. as others mentioned already read the handbook at least twice, and stick around here keep posting. You will find that we are all on the same boat, and get Chizuk from one another.

Keep it here.

Hatzlacha

as the others have all said, we are all on the same boat. you say you are embarrassed to admit this challenge to anyone, so posting here must have been a big step for you. good for you. STILL, i find that admitting this problem anonymously to cyber space, however vividly you do it, will only provide temporary relief, and at best, very little to zero accountability. you ask for advice, so in addition to what my brothers have said, i would suggest two things, being someone who has also struggled since 15:

1. work to make yourself comfortable to share this problem with one other person non-anonymously (this is one of the 12 steps). realize that what you have is not a rare form of disese never heard of before. trust me, if the person you share with is knowledgeable and close to you (like a rebbi) he probably already knows to some degree, and he will not judge you. he will admire your will to improve that you swallowed your pride and approached him. this has a better chance of giving you the direction and accountability needed. YOU MAY NOT BE READY FOR THIS YET. that is ok.... work on it, it will become easier and more natural the more you blog and realize this is just the way it is, and we want to get and stay clean - our motto is whatever works. WE ALWAYS PUT OUR SOBRIETY BEFORE OUR EGO.

2. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH - please, please, please, please, make a decision that from now on, no matter what happens and how well you do, you will be 100,000 percent completely honest all the time. The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth (except of course anonimity). to us, to yourself, to your higher power, and to the person to whom you will eventually open up. You mentioned that this was a challenge for you before due to your embarrassment. If there is no honesty, nothing and I'm not exaggerating nothing on this website (nor anywhere else) will truly work.

Just one man's opinion and experience. GYE is not a place of judgment. it is a place of honest people working really really hard to get clean, to stay clean, and help each other out. welcome, brother.

Your right I need to be open to someone but that's very very hard because people think I worked on my self. I was in Israel for 4 yrs, they won't be as understanding. But I'll try and yes I need to be truthful thank you for your great suggestions it was a great help

Welcome

Stay active here.
Good first step.
Take matters slow.

Bhatzlachah

WELCOME! Read the handbook. Keep posting. Check out some of the links in my signature.

Welcome and Hatzlacha!