Hello, dude. You haven't been here for a while. If you want to communicate, please email or text me.

9 months sober!

Shlomo24 wrote on 07 Aug 2017 14:11:

Mazel tov! Kein yirbu b'ezras Hashem! And thanks for your insightful posts.

Shlomo24 wrote on 07 Aug 2017 14:11:



Now you're at 1 Day for real

Thank God I'm doing really well. Better than ever before. I'm really progressing in my program, life, and relationship with my HP. I'm very grateful that I'm working step 12 right now and my Sponsor said that I should Sponsor others. While I don't think I would want to Sponsor someone remotely, I can definitely help people with stepwork or if they want a recovery related opinion on something. I'm putting myself out there and I would like to help anyone who needs it.

10 months sober!

may you be Zocha until 120

Mazel tov! Super! You must feel great. You are showing everyone out there that it can be done, and if i may add, you are busting the common misconception that for someone not yet married it's impossible to stay clean. We daven that you stay clean today - and repeat that tefila for the rest of your life.

Hey Shlomo 
Hope you are doing well

You are missed on the forum

Thanks for the message. In two days I will have a year of sobriety, God-willing. I will post a lengthily post then. I have already made a decision to let go of GYE, for various reasons which I will not be discussing here. If you post on my thread I get an email though, so I will see it.

Shlomo24 wrote on 05 Nov 2017 22:04:

I was wondering...

Someone is taking serious BIG STEPS over here

We'll miss you, and have you in mind in our small prayers ;-)

I am starting to write this at 12:22 AM Eastern Time. By 4:45 or so, provided I stay sober until then, I will have one year of sexual sobriety. This is incredibly special to me. I am a big proponent of One Day At A Time, and I truly believe in it, but one year is a big milestone to reach in recovery. I am immensely grateful to my Higher Power for giving me this gift. 

For this share, I would like to focus on gratitude: I am incredibly grateful to God for leading me on this path of recovery. He has given me so much and I am so happy today. I did not think that my journey would take the path it did at all, but nonetheless I wouldn't have it any other way. God was there for me along every step that I took and he guided me gently, holding my hand throughout. He performed a miracle by keeping me sober. A miracle is when there is a breach of natural order and it is completely miraculous that I, who was in the depths of active addiction, am sober. I am powerless over lust yet I am sober. That is completely attributed to my Higher Power.

I would like to thank GYE for being such a vital part of my recovery. On GYE I found other people who were struggling just as I did and it was through GYE that I joined SA. I have laughed and cried with the other members of this forum and I have gained so much knowledge from the forum as a whole. It also allowed me to practice the 12th step of SA and be of service to those who needed it. There are a lot of users that had an impact in my recovery, but I am going to limit it to 5. I love all of you but I can't go through everyone.

Gevura: Thank you for being so positive and upbeat at all times. Thank you for reaching out to me when I first joined and for offering a warm welcome and with loving arms. I could always count on you to lighten up the mood and to provide the forum with much needed fellowship.

Cordnoy: Thank you for your wisdom and wit throughout my journey. Many of your posts have made an impression on me and I value your recovery and your opinion greatly. You have also helped me a lot with learning recovery concepts, even if they weren't directly sex-related.

Dov: Thank you for being available in times of need. I really cherished the phone calls and conversations that we had and you make recovery very real. You don't water things down and you helped me get to the heart of many issues. 

WorkingGuy: I would not have expected you to be on this list, but you are. You really helped open my eyes and remain open-minded and objective about recovery. You helped me break away from black-and-white thinking and appreciate all forms of recovery. What started off a little rocky between you and I eventually changed into something much more healthy and I began to look forward to reading your posts. Your recovery was really internalized and it was very helpful for me to be in contact with you.

MarkZ: Thank you for all the assistance you provided with GYE. You were always very involved in making sure the site was running well and I really appreciate that. You also were instrumental in GYE being a happy and fun atmosphere, always quick to make a joke. Fellowship is integral to recovery and you were a big part of that for me. Your posts made me smile many times.

I am grateful to SA (SA is my main fellowship but I am really referring to the entire S-fellowship) for saving my life. If not for SA I would be homeless or dead or diseased. I fully believe that. Words cannot express how thankful I am to my Higher Power for the SA program. SA gave me a new lease on life. Not only that, I learned how to have relationships with people for the first time. The fellowship of SA has been so positive for me and it is what really keeps me coming back. I tried so many ways of stopping, but SA was the only way that worked for me. I have shared pain, happiness, anger and fear. I have cried from laughter and cried from tears. SA and the 12 steps taught me how to have a relationship with my Higher Power, which is the most valuable thing in my life today.

I am incredibly grateful to my Sponsor. He led me, sometimes gently, and sometimes not so gently, through the 12 steps of SA. He checked in with me and let me share with him. He listened to me when I needed someone to hear me out. He provided feedback when he had feedback to give, and listened when he didn't. He taught me how to relate to others, in all different levels of relationships. We connected on many levels and I truly beleive that he was a messenger from God. My Sponsor told me things that I didn't want to hear, but many times it was exactly what I needed to hear. He taught me that "It's ok to feel ordinary" and that God loves me more than any human possibly can.

I also want to include some practical tools that I have acquired on my journey, in no particular order. Understand that this is the experience of an addict:

Phone calls - I find phone calls to be integral to my recovery. I need to get out of my head and to get feedback from others. I need to check in my daily life so problems don't fester and grow.

Meetings - There is no way that I could maintain long-term sobriety without meetings. I need meetings to hear other people's ideas and to bring out to light what is going on in my life. I need meetings to cultivate friendships and to teach me how to connect to my Higher Power.

Fellowship - Fellowship is the glue that keeps it all together. My closest friends are my SA friends and I am so proud of that. Fellowship has transformed recovery from a helpful tool into my daily life. I live recovery because I am constantly surrounded by my fellowship. Even if I am having a bad day, I am bound to be contacted by other fellows. The fellowship of SA is where I learned how to make healthy friends and I learned that I am lovable and that people care about me.

Higher Power: Call him whatever you want, I couldn't get sober without him. I crashed my business and I needed to turn it over to someone who is much more knowledgeable than me. As soon as I start doing things my way, I am returning the business to its failed CEO. So long as I am in my Higher Power's hands, I am safe and he will lead the way.

12 Steps: The 12 steps is where the magic of the program is. Stopping acting out is changing a behavior, but it is not changing the person. The 12 steps transformed a man who was fearful, resentful, and codependent into a man that is serene, accepting, and grounded. It also was the main way in which I learned how to connect to my Higher Power. It provided the framework for me to develop a God of my understanding. It cleared away the wreckage of my past and allowed me to have a clean slate with those I had harmed.

I don't plan on being on GYE that much, but you can all contact me through the links below. If you respond to this thread I will see an email and probably check the thread also. I don't want to say goodbye to GYE, but based on life circumstances I think it is appropriate to do so.

God bless you all.

Thank you for sharing
As I read your post I am crying inside because this is what I dream of for myself 
Maybe I will be zocha one day....

Shlomo, what a post! First of all mazel tov on an incredible achievement. May Hashem lead you further and help you attain many many more days - one day at a time. Secondly, you have been a great inspiration to many here at GYE - especially to the singles. You have shown that it can be done and shared many tactics and concepts.  Your decision to move into the background is respected - after all, it's your life. However i humbly request that if at all possible, post once a month or so - the chizuk you give will have far reaching effects. Hatzlocha rabba.  

Mazel tov to you! If only you could make a huge lechaim in shul after shachris! I focus on a day at a time but am hoping to be able to write such a post when my year is up. Thanks for the amazing advice.