cry for the situation in eretz yisroel
cry for the fact that we don't feel the loss of the beis hamikdash
cry for the fact that we don't have true simcha (we don't have true yiras shamayim either, but lack of simcha might be more of a reason for our addiction).
cry cuz' you're supposed to
and if you can't cry, say the kinnos with a cryin' tone

may we be zoche to be mislabel on the loss of the beis hamikdash

crying for any of the above
and any of the sad situations in the world including our matzavim (call it an illness or whatever name you want)
all of the tzaros that we know of that are caused by the matzav of midas hadin being sholet and hester panim because of the lack of hashra'as hashechina because of the churban is really crying for the churban
(maybe thats what cordnoy meant)

Close enough - yes; thanks

Some words that people use here in gye are (or can be) pet peeves for me.

One of them is chizzuk as in "give me chizzuk."

Chizzuk won't ensure that we won't fall or recover. In fact inspiration fades quickly (I heard If we don't enact an action after 4 hours, we lost the opportunity.) So chizzuk won't enable me to not fall in the future and that's exactly the problem: it's only a preventative measure. Which is fine but it can't be our main strategy. We need a revovery plan that addresses our underlying issues and helps us face our challenges instead of escaping from them. Of course sometimes we may need chizzuk but it should only be supplemental. A good indicator is If we were to get chizzuk everyday and one day I don't get it I fall. This shows that I'm only relying on the chizzuk. and its only a preventive measure and not a method for recovery.

Keep in mind I am also speaking of someone that reaches out to a person for help which is highly commendable but he only seeks comfort. He doesn't seek to change his ways. This is not true recovery,and you are a dry drunk.

Please don't misunderstand me. Reaching our for comfort when you are on the edge is great, but if its your sole purpose of reaching out and recovery, I think you have missed the boat and soon enough you will fall into the water.

We need more than chizzuk. We need action. Action in recovery. Action that is directed at overcoming our underlying issues and not just at overcoming lust because lust is just the manifestation of the problem.

pet peeves?
i think what your saying is very true.
but remember everyone is holding at different stages.
and for some,there is the "chizzuk" stage.
it may be a necessary stage and he is at least reaching out.
why should it peeve you ?
and don't we all fall in the water a few times on each stage, before being successful?
why so hard on the chizzuk seekers?
i'm sure they will come around sooner or later.
and between friends, sometimes a chizzuk will result in the next stage happening
agree?

Good point Lavi; perhaps he was a bit too hard (I say that thick skin is a good thing for this site), but what I believe he was tryin' to say is that people should take the habitual 'chizuk approach.' They need eventually to step it up a notch. Some find that next step dauntin', and they shy away from it. DMS1234567890987654321234567890 was tryin' to inspire them further....a little faster than they were goin' until now.

Lavi you bring up good, important points and i completely agree. Perhaps i am just trying to accelerate that stage. But if some one truly wants to recover he should ALSO try to recover, instead of just seeking for comfort.

HI! I have been busy and this week is again busy.

Today, i went to a secular camp where i used to go. It was a little difficult. A lot of pritzus and I looked. I did. A few times BUT i didn't get depressed. I just kinda moved on. I know it was bad to look and i realized that getting depressed doesn't help me. I know that it may not have been very smart to go but i went and i tried and it could have been worse. I could have stared even more.

But i realized that the girls are just so untzneous. Its gross. Disgusting. UGH!!!! Its not attractive to me. Well i will look but REALLY its gross.

The key to recovery, in my mind, is whenever we make a mistake: a fall or a slip (no matter how big) we just keep moving on! We don't get depressed. Because depression for us is killer. More killer than actually falling or slipping because it makes us fall and slip even more. If i fall or slip once C'V, i can make that history but if i resent it and feel guilty/terrible for it, then i am travelling down the slippery slope.

SO LETS ALL JUST MOVE ON! AND TAKE A CHILL PILL! KEEP CALM AND RECOVER ON! KCARO!

Thanks for sharing!!

Obviously, adding to the formula of not getting depressed needs to be progressing and not becoming complacent.

Hi everyone, I was really busy the past couple weeks finishing summer school. Baruch Hashem, I did really well. I was trying to stay as calm as possible while doing my essays and i ended up getting really good marks.

A few days ago, i went into a scary situation for me. I was going to turn around and just give up. But i kept on trucking, i actually said to myself "I gust gotta keep on trucking" and it worked and I DID IT!!!

Everyone knows that we as, lust addicts, are selfish. We think about ME and thats it. Part of recovery is to start giving to others, which helps us shift our focus. So a few times, i try to focus on other people. For example in shul a couple times I looked around and thought of other people: their problems, what they do for our shul or community, their incredible accomplishments. It was actually awesome. I really felt good. But I have heard that if someone wants to give they should start at home and then move out from there. So I have decided to focus on my home: parents, siblings etc. I will start looking at whats needed here: help around the house, clean my room and whatever needs to be done.

But i will definitely keep focusing on other people in general. Whats bothering them? What do they need? How incredible they are?

One more thing: a few months ago i listened to a shiur by R. Wallerstein and he convinced me to delete Facebook. For me its not such a good thing to be on and i was going to delete maybe later like a few months or a year. But started the deleting process!!!!!!!!!!! (it takes 2 weeks). IT FEELS SOOO GOOD. FREEDOM! I wasted soooo much time on Facebook. Hours and hours and hours. UGH!!! Also, as i am a BT, i have a lot of friends who don't dress tzneious. And, there is a lot of immediate gratification. When you get 20 notifications or likes, it feels so good. But its so fake. Ofcourse we have some of that on GYE but whatever, at least i posting something meaningful. ANYHOW, feels good!!!

I just have to keep going step by step, calmly throughout my day. EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAZAL TOV on deleting facebook!

That's so amazing! KUTGW! You rock!

Great job!!!

KUTGW!!

BTW, don't forget that it's normal to miss it some times, and there is nothing wrong with that!! The contrary, it just shows what a good idea it was!!

KOMT!!

deleteting facebook,
i think is a major accomplishment,
i take off my hat to you (and leave on my kippa)
and btw, by posting about it , you are also giving chizzuk to us all.