hello,
my struggle started about 7 years ago when i was boarding at a cousins house and they had a laptop which didn't have a filter. i was top bachur in yeshiva, got married and have everything i could wish for, except peace of mind! the problem is that i don't go surfing p*rn too often and therefore haven't done anything serious about it quite yet, i have been getting the emails for quite some time but since at the times the lust came it was terribly strong it didn't help much, but that is why i am here now for the great support and tips from all the veterans out there! thank you GYE!

Welcome!
It would be helpful for you to know the extent of your issue with inappropriate sexual activity. You're looking at p*rn once in a while. You admit that the draw is very strong. An addiction doesn't have to be a constant thing (although it was for me). There are "weekend alcoholics." Does the surfing lead to MZ"L? Is the surfing opportunistic (you only think about it when there's a computer nearby) or do you find yourself fighting the urge to find a computer? Do you have an unfiltered computer in your home? Are your thoughts pure, or do you find yourself fantasizing (even about your wife)? How is your shmiras eynayim?

You don't have to actually answer any of these, they're just to get you thinking.

Hope you'll stick around and find what works for you.

A guten Shabbos,

Alex

I know i don't have to answer, but i'm here for help, and it did get me thinking.
some of the answers i don't know mysef but the ones i do are
the surfing ussually does end up in mz"l.
it's ussually when i am down, my wife is a niddah, or she is tired and went to sleep early and i had other plans.
i have a copmuter and i myself have filtered internet, but being in an apartment building i have no problem hooking on to other networks.
my computer has a filter but i know how to get by it, and even though it is a pain in the blank, when i am desperate it is not an issue.
the fantasizing has the same klalim as the surfing
as for shemiras einayim, it's not great, but i don't gaze much at the frum women here in the frum neiborhood.
i started the 90 days chart and it held me back just last week!
thank you for your help!

Your honesty is appreciated.
Now you know a little more about the scope of what your issues are.
It's not just p*rn, although this is maybe the thing that is most obviously "wrong" and therefore troubling to you.
Those of us who are addicted are addicted to sexual excitement in all it's forms: gazing at dressed women, fantasizing, even checking out our own wives just for a quick thrill. That tingly feeling is our drug. P*rn and mz"l are just a binge that resets the clock, gives us a brief reprieve, then the cycle just repeats itself.

The way out starts with getting sober. That means no drug. No looking at women. No fantasizing. No checking out the wife (unless for immediate tachlis). No mental images or fantasies while with the wife. An ironclad commitment to these basics will go a long way toward getting well again.

hello,
my struggle started about 7 10 years ago when i was boarding at a cousins house and they had a laptop which didn't have a filter. i was top bachur in yeshiva, got married and have everything i could wish for, except peace of mind a feeling of life that I did once feel! the problem is that i don't go surfing p*rn too often have the excitement that I did the first time I came and therefore haven't done anything serious about it quite yet I haven't been pushing myself, i have been am still getting the emails for quite some time but since at the times the lust came it was terribly strong I don't read them it doesn't help much, but that is why i am back here now for the great support and tips from all the veterans fellow strugglers out there! thank you GYE!

Welcome back!

I ditto and echo the welcome.

WELCOME BACK! WE MISSED YOU!

ברוך שובך

Welcome back!

Forget the All-Or-Nothing approach. Forget your misleading feelings. Don't think so much.

Just focus on the making the right decision, right now.

Hatzlacha!

skeptical
Yes Yankel, DONT THINK TOO MUCH!!!!!

hi! So nu? What's going on? How's recovery going?

hey bro

Welcome to the forums.
Maybe check out skep's tips! (I don't know the link but you probably know them by heart anyways)

Does this mean the truck is officially out of the mechanic's shop?

unanumun wrote:


I cannot speak for the MAN, but my assessment is that it might still be in the shop, bit its front is facin' the exit now.

Oh, it's good to see everyone again!!

Wow, skep, you've put on some weight!! And DMS, are those white hairs that I'm seeing?!

Gevur....vu...vu.rah?! You're yellowniss has sorely been missed!! (on gmail you have different colors )

Oh cordnoy, You've changed your signature and personal message....AGAIN!!!