Judaism views lust as follows: We acknowledge the fact that G‑d created us with such feelings, and it’s certainly not an aberration to feel lustful. However, outside of marriage, we are expected to be sufficiently aware of our higher calling, utilize our intellect, and muster enough inner fortitude to overcome our bodily drives. Excusing oneself by saying “It’s only human nature” is a sorry way to live, and slides you swiftly down a slippery slope.

The million-dollar question is: How? How on earth can a healthy young man or woman be expected to suppress or ignore their natural urges?

There are a number of answers and tips. I will mention only two basic ones here.

The first is to know that we don’t need to defeat and eradicate our urges—just to overpower them when they arise. Understanding what is and what isn’t expected of us is very important, because the number one obstacle to overpowering lust is guilt. Once you’re feeling guilty, you are sapped of any willpower, and the vicious cycle of giving in to temptation, feeling guilty/regretful, getting over the guilt and doing it all over again sets in.

The second tip is that the Torah teaches us that a psyche devoid of spirituality and meaning is a breeding ground for unbridled lust. An empty mind is a blank screen waiting to reflect a fleeting lustful thought or image. So we study the Torah daily, and by doing so, we beef up our spiritual immune system. The Talmud teaches that “if this disgusting one (temptation) has encountered you, drag him to the study hall.”

In a nutshell: know your goal, beef up, and you will be fine. 
(sorce chabad.org)

Repentance Is a TrapThe real way to do Yom KippurBy Tzvi Freeman

There was a time when people would spend every evening of the days before Yom Kippur(and especially just before Yom Kippur) pondering their sins, their faults, and just everything wrong, bad and crummy about themselves. They would cry and sob from their hearts, fall asleep weeping, and then they would get up the next morning with a pure soul to serve their Maker. They often did this on other days of the year, and it worked pretty good then too.

Nowadays, when someone ponders his failures, it almost inevitably leads to depression. When pondering a past sin, a person starts asking himself why he did such a stupid thing, remembers what a geshmak1 it was, and ends up doing more.

So what happened? Quite simply, the darkness got thicker. When you’re surrounded by light, it’s okay to stick your nose into a few dark corners—maybe you’ll find something valuable you lost in there. But when you live in a world with the lights dimmed and all the blinds pulled down, dark corners become black holes with relentless gravitational pull.

Pondering your sins, you may just come to the conclusion that you actually enjoyed them.

That’s why repentance is so darn dangerous nowadays. When someone calls me up and says, “Rabbi, I messed up! How do I repent?” I tell them, “Repentance? Stay away from that stuff! It’s hazardous!”

So they say, “But rabbi, what am I gonna do about this sin messup deal in my life?”

And I tell ’em, “Just start running towards the light.”

“But then I’ll never do the repentance thing, like it says in all those books, about deep remorse and weeping over your sins.”

“Right now, forget the remorse and the weeping. Just get past it! It’s a trap. It’s your nasty, self-destructive snake inside trying to take you for lunch. And you’re the lunch.”

“No, rabbi, no! I gotta repent!”

“You don’t want to repent. You want a replay!”

“A what?”

“A replay. Okay, I’ll explain: When your mind experiences something pleasurable, it’s programmed to go replay it again and again, until it rewires all its neurons, readies the limbic system and has the entire endocrine system on board. That way, when the associated stimuli turn up again, by sight, smell, sound or whatever, your entire visceral person is primed to lunge for it like a hawk.

“But you won’t let your mind replay this particular messup, because you know it was real immoral, bad and crummy. So your mind, being just as smart as you are—since it is your mind after all—comes up with a solution: It says, ‘I don’t want a replay. I want to repent.’ Well, you don’t. You want a replay. Nothing to do with repenting.”

And you say: “But when will I rip away all the ugly stuff clinging to me because of this lousy thing I did?”

The brain will do anything to get its replay. Even convince you to repent.

And I answer: “So don’t repent. Do teshuvah instead.”

“That’s what I said I want to do!”

“No, you said you wanted to do repentance. I’m telling you to do teshuvah. That means “return.” Return towards the light from which your soul originally came. When you are running towards the light, filling your life with more wisdom, more understanding, more mitzvahs; more joy, love and beauty; and the light is getting brighter and brighter, and you want to reach out and talk directly, sincerely with your G‑d . . .

“. . . that’s when it hits you that the crummy messup from the past is holding you back, like a useless backpack weighing you down, like a lump of clay in your heart, like a wall between you and the true place of your soul. That’s when a genuine, aching remorse overcomes you, just swelling up all on its own from the bottom of your heart. That’s when you scream, ‘Get off my back!’

“You look behind for a sec, throw that junk away, and fly ahead. That’s when you repent. But not until then.”

During the ten days from Rosh Hashanah until Yom Kippur, there’s a lot of light. Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year. Don’t go wasting that away. Especially, don’t go spending the holiest time of the year dwelling on stupid things you did.

Why waste the holiest day of the year dwelling on everything you messed up?

Instead, reach towards the light. Feel the presence of an Infinite G‑d, Creator of all things, who awaits your return to Him, with love.

And as you return, let that messy, gunky stuff just fall away, never to come back again. ’Cause you’ll never want it back again, once you’ve felt the embrace of His light.

Today, only the children of light can rise.

Dangerous Advice Your Rabbi Might Give You Before Rosh HashanahHow to search through your past without falling into itBy Tzvi FreemanProceed With Caution

There’s a lot of bad advice going around this time of year. Dangerous advice. The Internet is full of it. So is your synagogue. Maybe even your favorite rabbi.

Look, they mean well. But they’re often completely unaware of the hazards involved. Which makes their advice an even greater threat to your mental and spiritual health.

“Days of Judgment are upon us,” they tell you. “Rosh Hashanah. Yom Kippur. It's time to take an account of all you’ve done wrong in the past year and resolve never to return to your wayward deeds.”

Absolutely true. Absolutely crucial. And equally dangerous.

SuchWithout serious precautions, this inventory-taking can be downright toxic. advice works wonders for the spiritually advanced. But for the rest of us, without serious precautions, this inventory-taking can be downright toxic. Here's why:

1. Dwelling on the moral misdemeanors of your past and the brute instincts from which they emerged is guaranteed to lead to depression. Now get this, and get it straight and clear: There's sin, there's evil, there's hell, and then there's depression. At least hell gets you somewhere.
2. Contemplating how and why you chose to act out those urges, you will re-experience the thrill and pleasure you drew from them. Which just makes it all the more likely that you'll do more of the same.
3. Worse yet: You might take this life-review to heart. Then you'll say, “Boy, was I rotten! Boy, was I nasty! I guess I'm just a real rotten, nasty guy and always will be”

That last one is the real killer. Because it defeats your original purpose in engaging in this self-review in the first place. If you're making this review, it's because you already regret your past and want to leave it behind. You want the coming year to be a year of growth and blossoming of all your spiritual potential.

Just by starting that journey, you're forgiven already. He’s a forgiving G‑d. All it takes is a moment of regret to be forgiven.

But you’re looking for more than forgiveness. The point of this review is not the past, not the present, but the future. You need to grow out of your past. You need to change. Inner change.

And here you're sabotaging all of that. Because the key to inner change is to change who you think you are. But if you think you're a louse, you will be a louse.

If you think you're a louse, you will say, “Why would a great, perfect G‑d pay attention to the prayers of a louse like me? Why would He want my mitzvahs? Why would He want anything to do with me?”

“Serve G‑d with joy.”1 It’s not going to work otherwise.2 Yes, there was a time when people could handle a good portion of bitter herbs and still stay joyful. But, as the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson of righteous memory put it,Today, we just don’t have the strength to deal with bitterness. today, we just don’t have the strength to deal with bitterness. We need inspiration, motivation and celebration. Bitterness still has its place, but only once you’ve fully revved up the engine of joy.3

In short, your yearly inventory is likely to be not only counterproductive, but a plan for disaster. Unless…

Search and Rescue

Unless you know what you are looking for. And what you are looking for is definitely not your sins. You’ll find those—like you’ll find clots of hairy muck while clearing clogged pipes. But they’re not the object of your search. You’ll only find those so you can chuck them out—immediately.

You are looking for yourself. Your true self. And you can only find that by looking back there, taking a road trip though all the inner places where your true self was lost.

InCall it a cognitive reframing of your past self, so that you can move forward. the lingo of psychology, you’re doing a cognitive reframing of your past self, so that you can move forward.

That's the first mention of teshuvah in the Torah. Teshuvah is too often translated as repentance. That's wrong. Repentance means you're bad and now you've resolved to be good. Teshuvah means returning. Returning to the true, pure self that never changes. Because it is a breath of G‑d who does not change.

Search back there, through the mud and the murk of your past. Search past the deeds and the words. Those are but symptoms. You don’t heal by treating symptoms.

Search back there, through the blood-boiled chambers of your heart, past the callous egotism that allowed those things, past the fool who allowed himself to believe he was G‑d and therefore could do whatever he pleased and trample over whoever got in the way, past the hard rock walls of a heart that just didn’t care.

Search there with all the faith of your heart and soul, saying, “Deep inside here, I know I will find a pure soul. I know that when I did those things, when I acted the way I did, that pure soul was screaming bloody murder. I heard its voice, but I didn't listen. Instead, I heard the voice of a beast, and I let myself believe that was me.”

“But I am not a beast. I am not a louse. I am an innocent child. I am a spark of the divine. And I will find that pure soul there within that darkness and I will rescue it from there.”

Faith In Yourself

Only once you have faith in yourself can you see yourself objectively. You can admit to your faults, because they are not you.

Only once you have faith in who you really are can you understand why these things don't suit you. Like poor choices from a wild shopping spree, shoes that hurt your feet, pants that never fit, gaudy jewelry and cheap accessories, they just have to be chucked so you can move on in life.

Searching for yourself is a journey that takes far more faith than any pilgrimage. Just as you have faith in a G‑d you cannot see, so you must have faith in your own soul whose voice you cannot hear.

Because G‑d has faith in that soul. G‑d has faith in you. Faith you cannot fathom.

David, sweet singer of Israel, sang to G‑d: “On Your behalf, my heart says to me, ‘Seek my innermost!’ G‑d, I seek Your innermost.”5 For an entire month before Rosh Hashanah and until Hoshana Rabbah, we repeat those words twice a day in our prayers.

BecauseAt this time of year, the innermost of your heart is calling, saying, “Check me out. I am who you really are.” that's what your heart is doing during those days. It's beckoning to you, “Check me out. Check me out deeply. Beneath all the schmutz, I am dark but beautiful. I am who you really are, and can truly be.”

Search there, rescue yourself from there, and you will be that.

And you will be surprised. Because there you will find that G‑d Himself was always breathing within you.

—Maamar Ani L’Dodi 5729.
FOOTNOTES 1.Psalms 100:2. 2.See Tanya, Chapter 26. 3.Maamar Margala B’fuma D’Rava 5746. See also Hitvaduyot 5719, page 235. Maamar Ani L’Dodi 5729. Sefer HaSichot 5748, Matot-Massei. Sefer HaSichot 5750, page 93.

Moshiach5777 wrote on 18 Sep 2017 19:55:

There can even be bad advice found on this holy site.

Says who? 

The gate of repentance says that it's a sign of purity of the soul to have deep remorse and a precondition to forgiveness

Someone that's incapable of remorse has a problem. He needs guidance. Maybe his LOR will rule that it's not an option for him. A random website can't do that, sorry bro

In tanya igeres hatshuva chapter 11 it explains that right when we say סלח לנו we are forgiven, that's why we make a bracha חנון המרבה לסלוח. Look there. This is not contradicting what you brought from the gate of repentance, he doesn't say to be bitter forever.


ואמנם להיות
בלבו ההכנעה היא בחי' תשובה תתאה כנ"ל וגם השמחה בה' שתיהן ביחד. כבר מילתא אמורה בלק"א ס"פ ל"ד. כמ"ש בזוה"ק חדוה תקיעא בלבאי מסטרא דא וכו' ובצירוף עוד האמונה והבטחון להיות נכון לבו בטוח בה' כי חפץ חסד הוא וחנון ורחום ורב לסלוח תיכף ומיד שמבקש מחילה וסליחה מאתו ית' (כרוב רחמיך מחה פשעי כבסני טהרני וכל עוונותי מחה וכו') בלי שום ספק וס"ס בעולם. וכמו שאנו מברכין בכל תפלת י"ח תיכף שמבקשים סלח לנו כו' ברוך אתה ה' חנון המרבה לסלוח והרי ספק ברכות להקל משום חשש ברכה לבטלה אלא אין כאן שום ספק כלל מאחר שבקשנו סלח לנו מחל לנו. ואילו לא היינו חוזרים וחוטאים היינו נגאלין מיד כמו שאנו מברכין בא"י גואל ישראל. והרי אפי' במדת ב"ו כן שצריך האדם למחול תיכף ומיד שמבקשים ממנו מחילה ולא יהא אכזרי מלמחול ואפי' בקוטע יד חבירו כדאי' בגמ' בספ"ח דב"ק. ואם ביקש ממנו ג"פ ולא מחל לו שוב א"צ לבקש ממנו. והגבעונים שביקש דוד המלך ע"ה מהם מחילה בעד שאול שהמית את הגבעונים ולא רצו למחול גזר דוד עליהם שלא יבאו בקהל ה' שהם רחמנים וכו' כדאי' בפ"ח דיבמות. ובמדת הקדב"ה עאכ"ו לאין קץ.ומה שמשבחים ומברכים את ה' חנון המרבה לסלוח המרבה דייקא וכמ"ש בעזרא ורב לסלוח. דהיינו שבמדת ב"ו אם יחטא איש לאיש וביקש ממנו מחילה ומחל לו ואח"כ חזר לסורו קשה מאד שימחול לו שנית ומכ"ש בשלישית ורביעית. אבל במדת הקב"ה אין הפרש בין פעם א' לאלף פעמים כי המחילה היא ממדת הרחמים ומדותיו הקדושות אינן בבחי' גבול ותכלית אלא בבחי' א"ס כמ"ש כי לא כלו רחמיו. ולגבי בחי' א"ס אין הפרש כלל בין מספר קטן לגדול דכולא קמי' כלא ממש חשיב ומשוה קטן וגדול וכו'. ולכן מעביר אשמותינו בכל שנה ושנה וכל החטאי' שמתוודים בעל חטא מדי שנה אף שחזר ועבר עליהם חוזר ומתודה עליהם ביוה"כ בשנה הבאה וכן לעולם. ובכל שנה ושנה לאו דוקא אלא כמו כן בכל יום ויום ג"פ מברכי' בא"י חנון המרבה לסלוח וכמארז"ל תפלה כנגד תמידין תקנוה. ותמיד של שחר הי' מכפר על עבירות הלילה ותמיד של בין הערביים על של יום וכן מדי יום ביום לעולם. אלא שיוה"כ מכפר על עבירות חמורות. והתמיד שהוא קרבן עולה מכפר על מ"ע בלבד. וכן התפלה בזמן הזה עם התשובה כנ"ל. ואין זה אחטא ואשוב. כי היינו דוקא שבשעת החטא היה יכול לכבוש יצרו אלא שסומך בלבו על התשובה ולכן הואיל והתשובה גורמת לו לחטוא אין מספיקין וכו'. ואף גם זאת אין מספיקין דייקא. אבל אם דחק ונתחזק ונתגבר על יצרו ועשה תשובה מקבלין תשובתו. אבל אנו שמבקשים בכל יום סלח לנו אנו מקדימין לבקש והחזירנו בתשובה שלימה לפניך דהיינו שלא נשוב עוד לכסלה וכן ביוה"כ מבקשים יהי רצון מלפניך שלא אחטא עוד מספיקין ומספיקין כמארז"ל הבא לטהר מסייעין אותו הבא דייקא מיד שבא ואי לזאת גם הסליחה והמחילה היא מיד.ומ"ש וחטאתי נגדי תמיד אין המכוון להיות תמיד עצב נבזה ח"ו דהא כתיב בתרי' תשמיעני ששון ושמחה וכו' ורוח נדיבה תסמכני וכו' ומשום שצ"ל כל ימיו בתשובה עילאה שהיא בשמחה רבה כנ"ל אלא נגדי דייקא כמו ואתה תתיצב מנגד מנגד סביב לאהל מועד יחנו ופרש"י מרחוק. והמכוון רק לבלתי רום לבבו ולהיות שפל רוח בפני כל האדם כשיהיה לזכרון בין עיניו שחטא נגד ה'. ואדרבה לענין השמחה יועיל זכרון החטא ביתר שאת בכדי לקבל בשמחה כל המאורעות המתרגשות ובאות בין מן השמים בין ע"י הבריות בדיבור או במעשה (וזו עצה טובה להנצל מכעס וכל מיני קפידא וכו') וכמארז"ל הנעלבים ואינן עולבין שומעי' חרפתם ואין משיבי' עושים מאהבה ושמחי' ביסורי' וכו' וכל המעביר על מדותיו מעבירי' לו על כל פשעיו:

Moshiach5777 wrote on 19 Sep 2017 03:00:

Shaarie Teshuva didn't say forever
Tanya doesn't say there's forgiveness just by mouthing 2 words
Both those great luminaries share the same source of Torah tradition

A little regret goes a long way

Unfortunately many people prefer to brush misdemeanors under the rug and give free forgiveness passes out - even for serious offenses, and that's a little beyond the pale...

How do I rid myself of inappropriate thoughts?By Tzvi Freeman

Question:

I am a happily married man. But for a reason I don't know, this past week my mind has been driving me nuts with thoughts of other women, etc. These thoughts are so powerful. Is there a way to stop them? Are there any extra prayers I can be reciting? Is there so extra type of learning I can take on?

Answer:

The most powerful tool in all these matters is perhaps the most counter-intuitive. It's called "hesech ha-daat." AKA: think about something else.

I know it sounds stupid, but this is how it works: When you fight against your own thoughts, you only engrave them deeper in your neurons. It's something like struggling against quicksand, which serves only to dig you in deeper and deeper.

So as long as you are chastising yourself for your thoughts, trying to determine where they come from, trying to convince yourself more and more how bad they are for you and even just remarking to yourself "why is this happening now?"--all you are doing is burning those thoughts further into the woodwork of your mind.

You need to do two things:

1. Recognize that you and I and 99.9999% of the male gender are beasts of prey with oversized brains. It's no wonder we react to a woman much the same as we do to a steak. That's how we were designed. The brain software is supposed to kick in and modify that, but sometimes the hardware just gets whacko out of control. So there's nothing to be shocked about--or to chastise yourself about when those hormones start flowing and those thoughts start bubbling.

On the contrary, you should be delighted that you had an opportunity to do battle with your yetzer hara (your animal desires) and you won, because you still have not committed adultery or any similar such sin. For more on this, you need to see chapter 27 of Tanya. We have that text online, or click here for an audio class on the subject (but learning it inside from the text will help you even more).

2. You need to have something else ready in your mind to think about. If you're not learning, you're sinking. Always have some ideas in Torah ready at hand to think about. Memorize as much as you can. Listen to tapes. Learn stuff that engages and fascinates you. An empty mind is an open door to empty thoughts. Keep that brain stuffed with good thoughts.

Rabbi Tzvi Freeman for Chabad.org

תניא פרק כ"ו
אך העצבות ממילי דשמיא צריך לשית עצות בנפשו לפטר ממנה אין צריך לומר בשעת עבודה שצריך לעבוד ה' בשמחה ובטוב לבב אלא אפילו מי שהוא בעל עסקים ודרך ארץ אם נופל לו עצב ודאגה ממילי דשמיא בשעת עסקיו בידוע שהוא תחבולת היצר כדי להפילו אח"כ בתאוות ח"ו כנודע שאל"כ מאין באה לו עצבות אמיתית מחמת אהבת ה' או יראתו באמצע עסקיו. והנה בין שנפלה לו העצבות בשעת עבודה בת"ת או בתפלה ובין שנפלה לו שלא בשעת עבודה זאת ישים אל לבו כי אין הזמן גרמא כעת לעצבות אמיתית אפי' לדאגת עונות חמורים ח"ו. רק לזאת צריך קביעות עתים ושעת הכושר בישוב הדעת להתבונן בגדול' ה' אשר חטא לו כדי שע"י זה יהיה לבו נשבר באמת במרירות אמיתית וכמבואר עת זו במ"א ושם נתבאר ג"כ כי מיד אחר שנשבר לבו בעתים קבועים ההם אזי יסיר העצב מלבו לגמרי ויאמין אמונה שלימה כי ה' העביר חטאתו ורב לסלוח וזו היא השמחה האמיתית בה' הבאה אחר העצב כנ"ל:

תניא פרק כ"ז 
ואם העצבות אינה מדאגת עונות אלא מהרהורים רעים ותאוות רעות שנופלות במחשבתו. הנה אם נופלות לו שלא בשעת העבודה אלא בעת עסקו בעסקיו ודרך ארץ וכהאי גוונא אדרבה יש לו לשמוח בחלקו שאף שנופלות לו במחשבתו הוא מסיח דעתו מהן לקיים מה שנאמר ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם אשר אתם זונים אחריהם. ואין הכתוב מדבר בצדיקי' לקראם זונים ח"ו אלא בבינונים כיוצא בו שנופלים לו הרהורי ניאוף במחשבתו בין בהיתר כו' וכשמסיח דעתו מקיים לאו זה ואמרו רז"ל ישב ולא עבר עבירה נותנים לו שכר כאלו עשה מצוה ועל כן צריך לשמוח בקיום הלאו כמו בקיום מצות עשה ממשואדרבה העצבות היא מגסות הרוח שאינו מכיר מקומו ועל כן ירע לבבו על שאינו במדרגת צדיק שלצדיקים בודאי אין נופלים להם הרהורי שטות כאלו כי אילו היה מכיר מקומו שהוא רחוק מאד ממדרגת צדיק והלואי היה בינוני ולא רשע כל ימיו אפי' שעה אחת הרי זאת היא מדת הבינונים ועבודתם לכבוש היצר וההרהור העולה מהלב למוח ולהסיח דעתו לגמרי ממנו ולדחותו בשתי ידים כנ"לובכל דחיה ודחיה שמדחהו ממחשבתו אתכפיא ס"א לתתא ובאתערותא דלתתא אתערותא דלעילא ואתכפיא ס"א דלעילא המגביה עצמה כנשר לקיים מ"ש אם תגביה כנשר וגו' משם אורידך נאם ה' וכמו שהפליג בזהר פ' תרומה [דף קכח] בגודל נחת רוח לפניו ית' כד אתכפיא ס"א לתתא דאסתלק יקרא דקב"ה לעילא על כולא יתיר משבח' אחרא ואסתלקות' דא יתיר מכולא וכו'.ולכן אל יפול לב אדם עליו ולא ירע לבבו מאד גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד. ועל זה אמר איוב בראת רשעים ולא שיהיו רשעים באמת ח"ו אלא שיגיע אליהם כמעשה הרשעים במחשבתם והרהורם לבד והם יהיו נלחמים תמיד להסיח דעתם מהם כדי לאכפי' לס"א ולא יוכלו לבטלה מכל וכל כי זה נעשה ע"י צדיקים.ושני מיני נחת רוח לפניו ית' למעלה. א' מביטול הס"א לגמרי ואתהפכא ממרירו למתקא ומחשוכא לנהורא ע"י הצדיקים. והשנית כד אתכפיא הס"א בעודה בתקפה וגבורתה ומגביה עצמה כנשר ומשם מורידה ה' באתערותא דלתתא ע"י הבינונים. וז"ש הכתוב ועשה לי מטעמים כאשר אהבתי מטעמים לשון רבים שני מיני נחת רוח והוא מאמר השכינה לבניה כללות ישראל כדפי' בתיקונים. וכמו שבמטעמים גשמיים ד"מ יש שני מיני מעדנים אחד ממאכלים ערבים ומתוקים. והשני מדברים חריפים או חמוצי' רק שהם מתובלים ומתוקני' היטב עד שנעשו מעדנים להשיב הנפש. וז"ש הכתו' כל פעל ה' למענהו וגם רשע ליום רעה פי' שישוב מרשעו ויעשה הרע שלו יום ואור למעלה כד אתכפיא ס"א ואסתלק יקרא דקב"ה לעילא.ולא עוד אלא אפי' בדברים המותרים לגמרי כל מה שהאדם זובח יצרו אפי' שעה קלה ומתכוין לאכפיא לס"א שבחלל השמאלי כגון שחפץ לאכול ומאחר סעודתו עד לאחר שעה או פחות ועוסק בתורה באותה שעה. כדאיתא בגמ' שעה רביעית מאכל כל אדם שעה ששית מאכל ת"ח. והיו מרעיבים עצמם שתי שעות לכוונה זו אף שגם אחר הסעודה היו לומדים כל היום. וכן אם בולם פיו מלדבר דברים שלבו מתאוה מאד לדברם מענייני העולם וכן בהרהורי מחשבתו אפי' במעט מזעיר דאתכפיא ס"א לתתא אסתלק יקרא דקב"ה וקדושתו לעילא הרבהומקדושה זו נמשכת קדושה עליונה על האדם למטה לסייעו סיוע רב ועצום לעבודתו ית'. וז"ש רז"ל אדם מקדש עצמו מעט למטה מקדשין אותו הרבה מלמעלה לבד מה שמקיים מצות עשה של תורה והתקדשתם וכו' כשמקדש עצמו במותר לו ופי' והתקדשתם שתעשו עצמכם קדושים כלומר אף שבאמת אינו קדוש ומובדל מס"א כי היא בתקפה ובגבורתה כתולדתה בחלל השמאלי רק שכובש יצרו ומקדש עצמו. והייתם קדושים כלומר סופו להיות קדוש ומובדל באמת מהס"א ע"י שמקדשים אותו הרבה מלמעלה ומסייעים אותו לגרשה מלבו מעט מעט:

The Alter Rebbe now goes on to discuss a different type of sadness, that caused by one’s failings in matters of the spirit.

אך העצבות ממילי דשמיא, צריך לשית עצות בנפשו ליפטר ממנה

As for sadness connected with heavenly matters, one must seek ways and means of freeing oneself from it.

אין צריך לומר בשעת עבודה, שצריך לעבוד ה‘ בשמחה ובטוב לבב

That this applies to the time of one’s divine service, is self-evident, for one must serve G‑d with joy and gladness of heart.

אלא אפילו מי שהוא בעל עסקים ודרך ארץ, אם נופל לו עצב ודאגה ממילי דשמיא בשעת עסקיו

But even one who is occupied in business and worldly affairs, should there descend upon him any sadness or anxiety about heavenly matters during his business affairs,

בידוע שהוא תחבולת היצר, כדי להפילו אחר כך בתאוות, חס ושלום, כנודע

it is certainly a trick of the Evil Inclination which saddens him, ostensibly for spiritual reasons, in order to lure him afterwards into lusts, G‑d forbid, as is well known.

It is man’s nature to seek pleasure and not to remain depressed. If his feeling of spiritual failure distresses him, he will seek his pleasure in physical gratification. The Evil Inclination therefore wishes that one be depressed, be it even over spiritual matters, so that he will later succumb to temptation.

שאם לא כן, מאין באה לו עצבות אמיתית, מחמת אהבת ה‘ או יראתו, באמצע עסקיו

For if it were not so, that this depression is the doing of the Yetzer Hara, whence would a genuine sadness, one that is derived from love or fear of G‑d, come to him in the midst of his business affairs?

Since a genuine sadness is an expression of love or fear of G‑d, it should express itself at a time when these emotions are active — during prayer, Torah study and the like, but not during one’s business. Clearly, then, the sadness is artificial, created by the Yetzer Hara for its own purposes, and one must therefore rid himself of it. The next paragraph provides the means:

והנה, בין שנפלה לו העצבות בשעת עבודה בתלמוד תורה או בתפלה, ובין שנפלה לו שלא בשעת עבודה, זאת ישים אל לבו

Whether the depression settles upon him during his service of G‑d in Torah study or prayer, or when he is not engaged thus, but with his material affairs, this is what he should consider:

כי אין הזמן גרמא כעת לעצבות אמיתית, אפילו לדאגת עונות חמורים, חס ושלום

“Now is not the proper time for genuine sadness, nor even for worry over grave sins, G‑d forbid.

רק לזאת צריך קביעות עתים ושעת הכושר בישוב הדעת, להתבונן בגדולת ה’ אשר חטא לו

For this one must set aside opportune times, when the mind is calm, to reflect on the greatness of G‑d against Whom he has sinned,

כדי שעל ידי זה יהיה לבו נשבר באמת במרירות אמיתית, וכמבואר עת זו במקום אחר

so that thereby his heart will truly be rent with genuine bitterness i.e., bitterness — remorse — as opposed to depression; the former is alive and active, while the latter is resigned and ”dead“. It is explained elsewhere when this time should be.20

ושם נתבאר גם כן כי מיד אחר שנשבר לבו בעתים קבועים ההם, אז יסיר העצב מלבו לגמרי

There it is also explained that immediately after his heart has been broken during those appointed times, he should completely remove the sorrow from his heart,

ויאמין אמונה שלימה כי ה‘ העביר חטאתו, ורב לסלוח

and he should believe with perfect faith that G‑d has erased his sin, and that ”He pardons abundantly.“

Thus, even if one has sinned repeatedly against Him, G‑d will readily forgive him as though he had sinned for the first time; unlike man, who easily forgives a first offense but finds it difficult to do so when the offense is oft repeated.

וזו היא השמחה האמיתית בה’ הבאה אחר העצב, כנ״ל

This knowledge that G‑d has surely cleansed him of his sins is the true joy in G‑d which follows the sadness, as explained above —that the advantage of sadness lies in the joy to which it gives rise.

In the previous chapter the Alter Rebbestated that sadness hinders one’s service of G‑d in general, and his battle with theYetzer Hara in particular. He therefore discussed means of overcoming sadness caused by material concerns, and by anxiety over one’s sins.

In this chapter and the next, he will discuss another type of melancholy, that caused by concern over one’s sinful thoughts and desires. This category itself may be further subdivided into two: (1) Where these thoughts occur while one is occupied with his material affairs, and (2) Where these thoughts disturb his service of G‑d in Torah study, prayer and the like.

In this chapter the Alter Rebbe discusses the first situation. He states that not only are these thoughts no cause for sadness, but on the contrary, they ought to give rise to joy.

ואם העצבות אינה מדאגת עונות, אלא מהרהורים רעים ותאוות רעות שנופלות במחשבתו

If, however, his sadness does not stem from anxiety over sins that he has committed, but from the fact that sinful thoughts and desires enter his mind, then:

הנה אם נופלות לו שלא בשעת העבודה, אלא בעת עסקו בעסקיו ודרך ארץ וכהאי גוונא

If these thoughts occur to him not during his service of G‑d, but while he is occupied with his own affairs and with mundane matters and the like,

אדרבה יש לו לשמוח בחלקו, שאף שנופלות לו במחשבתו הוא מסיח דעתו מהם

he should, on the contrary, be happy in his lot; for although these sinful thoughts enter his mind, he averts his attention from them.

It is clear that here we are speaking of one who does not wilfully dwell on sinful thoughts, for if he does so he is a sinner, and the previous chapter has already dealt with sadness arising from sins.

לקיים מה שנאמר: ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם אשר אתם זונים אחריהם

By averting his mind from sinful thoughts he fulfills the injunction, 1“You shall not follow after your heart and after your eyes, by which you go astray.”

Only when sinful thoughts enter one’s mind can he fulfill this command. For the intention of the verse is not that one be at a level where such thoughts would not occur to him: this is the level of tzaddikim, who have eradicated all evil from their hearts. Surely, then this verse is not addressed totzaddikim. The verse refers rather to one who does have such thoughts, and he is commanded to banish them — as the Alter Rebbe continues:

ואין הכתוב מדבר בצדיקים לקראם זונים, חס ושלום

The above verse surely does not speak of tzaddikim, referring to them (G‑d forbid) as “going astray,”

אלא בבינונים כיוצא בו שנופלים לו הרהורי ניאוף במחשבתו, בין בהיתר כו׳

but of Beinonim like himself, in whose mind there do enter erotic thoughts, whether of an innocent nature [or otherwise],

וכשמסיח דעתו, מקיים לאו זה

and when he averts his mind from them, he fulfills this injunction.

ואמרו רז״ל: ישב ולא עבר עבירה, נותנים לו שכר כאילו עשה מצוה

Our Sages have said: 2 “When one passively abstains from sin, he is rewarded as though he had actively performed a mitzvah.”

ועל כן צריך לשמוח בקיום הלאו כמו בקיום מצות עשה ממש

Consequently, he should rejoice in his compliance with the injunction just as he does when performing an actual positive precept.

Thus not only should the occurence of these thoughts not grieve him, but it ought to bring him joy, for only thereby is he able to fulfill this commandment.

ואדרבה, העצבות היא מגסות הרוח

On the contrary, such sadness is due to conceit.

שאינו מכיר מקומו, ועל כן ירע לבבו על שאינו במדרגת צדיק

For he does not know his place, and that is why he is distressed because he has not attained the level of a tzaddik,

שלצדיקים בודאי אין נופלים להם הרהורי שטות כאלו

to whom such foolish thoughts surely do not occur.

כי אילו הי׳ מכיר מקומו, שהוא רחוק מאד ממדרגת צדיק

For were he to recognize his station, that he is very far from the rank of tzaddik,

והלואי היה בינוני ולא רשע כל ימיו אפילו שעה אחת

and would that he be a Beinoni and not a rasha for even a single moment throughout his life (i.e., this is what he should be striving for at present, rather than vainly desiring to be atzaddik),

הרי זאת היא מדת הבינונים ועבודתם

then surely, this is the due measure of the Beinonim and their task:

לכבוש היצר וההרהור העולה מהלב למוח, ולהסיח דעתו לגמרי ממנו ולדחותו בשתי ידים, כנ״ל

To subdue the evil impulse and the thought that rises from the heart to the mind, and to completely avert his mind from it, repulsing it as it were with both hands, as explained above in ch. 12.

The Alter Rebbe explained there that the evil in the soul of the Beinoni remains vigorous; his task is to prevent it from expressing itself in thought, speech, and action. Thus, he has no control over the occurence of evil thoughts in his mind, but only over his acceptance or rejection of these thoughts.

ובכל דחיה ודחיה שמדחהו ממחשבתו, אתכפיא סטרא אחרא לתתא

With every repulsion of this thought from his mind, the sitra achra is suppressed here below in This World,

ובאתערותא דלתתא אתערותא דלעילא

and, since “the arousal from below (in our case, the initiative of the Beinoni in suppressing the sitra achra) produces acorresponding arousal above,”

ואתכפיא סטרא אחרא דלעילא המגביה עצמה כנשר

the sitra achra above in the supernal worlds (the root of the sitra achra of this world) which soars like an eagle, is also suppressed,

לקיים מה שכתוב: אם תגביה כנשר וגו׳ משם אורידך נאם ה׳

thus realizing the verse, 3 “Though you soar aloft like the eagle…I will yet bring you down from there, says G‑d.”

וכמו שהפליג בזהר פרשת תרומה דף קכח בגודל נחת רוח לפניו יתברך כד אתכפיא סטרא אחרא לתתא

Indeed the Zohar, in Parshat Terumah(p. 128), extolls the Divine satisfaction that occurs when the sitra achra is subdued here below,

דאסתלק יקרא דקודשא בריך הוא לעילא על כולא יתיר משבחא אחרא, ואסתלקותא דא יתיר מכולא וכו׳

for “thereby G‑d’s glory rises above all, more than by any other praise, and this ascent is greater than all else, etc.”

Thus, it is the evil thoughts which enter the mind of the Beinoni that enable him to fulfill G‑d’s command in averting his attention from them, thereby subduing thesitra achra.

ולכן אל יפול לב אדם עליו ולא ירע לבבו מאד

Therefore one should not feel depressed or very troubled at heart (— he ought to be somewhat troubled by the occurence of these thoughts, otherwise he may become indifferent to them and will cease to wage war against them; but he ought not to be sorely troubled by them),

גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו

even if he be engaged all his days in this conflict with the thoughts which will always enter his mind.

Though he may never rise to the level which precludes their occurence, yet he should not be depressed.

כי אולי לכך נברא, וזאת עבודתו: לאכפיא לסטרא אחרא תמיד

For perhaps this is what he was created for, and this is the service demanded of him — to subdue the sitra achraconstantly.

ועל זה אמר איוב: בראת רשעים

Concerning this Job said to G‑d: 4 “You have created wicked men,” as though it were preordained that one man be wicked, and another righteous.

In the first chapter, the Alter Rebbe pointed out that this is contradicted by the statement in the Gemara that before a child is born, G‑d decrees whether he shall be wise or foolish, strong or weak, and so on, but does not determine whether he will be righteous or wicked — this is left to one’s own choice. The meaning of Job’s statement becomes clear, however, in light of the above discussion. True, G‑d does not ordain whether man will act wickedly, but He does “create wicked men,” in the sense that their minds work like the mind of the rasha,with evil thoughts constantly occuring to them. G‑d created them in this way so that they will engage in battle with these thoughts, and thereby subjugate the sitra achra — as the Alter Rebbe now goes on to say.

ולא שיהיו רשעים באמת, חס ושלום

The implication of Job’s statement isnot that they were created to actually be wicked, G‑d forbid, i.e., sinful in thought, speech and action,

אלא שיגיע אליהם כמעשה הרשעים במחשבתם והרהורם בלבד

but that there should occur to them, in their thoughts and musings alone, that which occurs to the wicked, 5 i.e., that evil thoughts should enter their mind, as they do in the mind of the wicked,

והם יהיו נלחמים תמיד להסיח דעתם מהם כדי לאכפיא לסטרא אחרא

and they shall eternally wage war to avert their minds from them in order to subjugate the sitra achra,

ולא יוכלו לבטלה מכל וכל, כי זה נעשה על ידי הצדיקים

yet they will never be able to annihilate the sitra achra in their souls completely, for this is accomplished by tzaddikim.

A tzaddik subjugates his animal soul to such a degree that it is unable to arouse temptation in his heart. His mind is therefore untroubled by evil thoughts. Those, however, of whom Job said that they were “created wicked,” cannot rise to this level. It is always possible for evil thoughts to enter their minds; their task is not to give them free rein.

ושני מיני נחת רוח לפניו יתברך למעלה

For there are two kinds of Divine pleasure:

אחת, מביטול הסטרא אחרא לגמרי, ואתהפכא ממרירו למתקא ומחשוכא לנהורא, על ידי הצדיקים

one, from the complete annihilation of the sitra achra, and the conversion of bitter to sweet and of darkness to light(— the former referring to the emotional faculties of the animal soul, and the latter to its mental faculties),which is accomplished by tzaddikim;

והשנית, כד אתכפיא הסטרא אחרא בעודה בתקפה וגבורתה, ומגביה עצמה כנשר

and the second: when the sitra achra is subdued while it is still at its strongest and most powerful, soaring like an eagle,

ומשם מורידה ה׳ באתערותא דלתתא על ידי הבינונים

and from this height G‑d topples it in response to human initiative i.e., as a result of one’s efforts at subduing thesitra achra in his soul. This is accomplished by Beinonim.

Each of the two aforementioned categories — those who were “created righteous” and who were “created wicked” — brings about one of these two kinds of Divine gratification.

וזהו שאמר הכתוב: ועשה לי מטעמים כאשר אהבתי

This is alluded to in the verse, 6 “And make me delicacies, such as I love,”

מטעמים לשון רבים, שני מיני נחת רוח

where the word matamim (“delicacies”) is written in the plural, indicating two kinds of pleasure.

והוא מאמר השכינה לבניה כללות ישראל, כדפירשו בתיקונים

These words are the charge of theShechinah to its children, the community of Israel, as explained inTikkunei Zohar — that with these words G‑d asks of the Jewish people to please Him with their divine service.

וכמו שבמטעמים גשמיים, דרך משל, יש שני מיני מעדנים

Just as with material food, there are two kinds of delicacies—

אחד, ממאכלים ערבים ומתוקים, והשני מדברים חריפים או חמוצים

one of sweet and luscious foods, and the other of sharp or sour articles which are unpleasant to eat in their natural state,

רק שהם מתובלים ומתוקנים היטב עד שנעשו מעדנים להשיב הנפש

but have been well spiced and prepared so that they become delicacies which revive the soul — so too are there two kinds of spiritual delicacies.

One is provided by tzaddikim, who are occupied solely with matters that are “good” and “sweet” — holy matters. Having conquered the evil of their animal soul, they no longer need grapple with the sitra achra. Their divine service consists of increasing the light of holiness. The second kind of delicacy is provided by Beinonim,who are occupied with “bitter” matters, with battling against the sitra achra in their soul, and with the evil thoughts that it spawns.

וזהו שאמר הכתוב: כל פעל ה׳ למענהו, וגם רשע ליום רעה

This is indicated in the verse, 7 “The L-rd has made everything for His sake; even the wicked for the day of evil.”

How can it be said that the rasha was created for G‑d’s sake?

פירוש: שישוב מרשעו ויעשה הרע שלו יום ואור למעלה

This means, however, that he should repent of his evil, and turn his evil into “day” and light above,

כד אתכפיא סטרא אחרא ואסתלק יקרא דקודשא בריך הוא לעילא

when the sitra achra is subdued, and the glory of G‑d is uplifted on high.

Thus, the meaning of the words “even the wicked for the day of evil” is that the purpose of the wicked is to transform the “evil” into “day”.

* * *

The central point of the above discussion was that through the occurence of evil thoughts in one’s mind, and through one’s battle against them, the sitra achra is subdued, causing great pleasure above.

The Alter Rebbe now goes on to say that this subjugation of the sitra achra and the consequent Divine pleasure are brought about not only by one’s struggle against thesitra achra when it attempts to lead one to sin (as in our case, where the lack of a struggle against evil thoughts, and the continued meditation on them would constitute a sin). Rather, one produces the same effect by struggling with one’s nature in abstaining from permitted matters. For as explained in ch. 6, any permitted action done without the specific intention of leading one to the serving of G‑d (as, for example, eating in order to obtain strength for Torah study or performing the mitzvot)derives its vitality from the sitra achra.(This term simply means “the other side,” i.e., the absence of holiness.) Only an action so directed can draw its vitality from the realm of holiness. Therefore, whenever one refrains from doing even a permissible act (in which this intention is lacking) in order to subdue the sitra achra, he gives rise to Divine pleasure.

ולא עוד, אלא אפילו בדברים המותרים לגמרי

Furthermore, not only by fighting his evil thoughts does one subdue the sitra achra, but even in matters that are fully permissible,

כל מה שהאדם זובח יצרו אפילו שעה קלה, ומתכוין לאכפיא לסטרא אחרא שבחלל השמאלי

every act of sacrificing one’s impulse, even if only for a short while i.e., if he delays partaking of even the permissible and essential, with the intention of subduing the sitra achra in the left part of his heart, achieves this end.

כגון שחפץ לאכול, ומאחר סעודתו עד לאחר שעה או פחות

For example: when he wants to eat but delays his meal for an hour or less,

ועוסק בתורה באותה שעה

and during that time he studies Torah.

For if he occupies himself with other physical matters, he does not subdue thesitra achra by postponing his meal, since he is in any case indulging his animal soul; but if he studies Torah during that time then even when the delay of his meal does not gain him any time for Torah study, for he would have studied Torah regardless (as will soon be stated), and despite the fact that he eventually does eat, yet he subdues the sitra achra by the mere effort of postponing his meal, and thereby he brings about the Divine pleasure caused by every subjugation of the sitra achra.

כדאיתא בגמרא: שעה רביעית מאכל כל אדם, שעה ששית מאכל תלמידי חכמים

As the Gemara states: 8 “The fourth hour [of the day] is when all men eat, but the sixth hour is the mealtime for scholars,”

והיו מרעיבים עצמם שתי שעות לכוונה זו

because they would go hungry for two hours with this intention,

אף שגם אחר הסעודה היו לומדים כל היום

although even after the meal they would study all day.

וכן אם בולם פיו מלדבר דברים שלבו מתאוה מאד לדברם מענייני העולם

So too if one restrains his mouth from saying things which he greatly desires to say, concerning mundane matters — even where is nothing wrong with the words per se, yet he refrains from speaking them precisely because he feels a desire to do so;

וכן בהרהורי מחשבתו

and likewise regarding the thoughts of his mind he suppresses an urge to think about some mundane matter.

אפילו במעט מזעיר דאתכפיא סטרא אחרא לתתא

Even by the slightest subjugation of thesitra achra here below,

אסתלק יקרא דקודשא בריך הוא וקדושתו לעילא הרבה

the glory of G‑d and His holiness is greatly elevated on high.

ומקדושה זו נמשכת קדושה עליונה על האדם למטה לסייעו סיוע רב ועצום לעבודתו יתברך

From this holiness, a sublime holiness issues forth upon man below, to assist him with a great and powerful aid in his service of G‑d.

וזהו שאמרו רז״ל: אדם מקדש עצמו מעט למטה, מקדשין אותו הרבה מלמעלה

This is what our Sages meant when they said: 9 “If a man consecrates himself in a small measure here below, he is sanctified greatly from above.”

לבד מה שמקיים מצות עשה של תורה: והתקדשתם וכו׳, כשמקדש עצמו במותר לו

This is apart from the fact that when one sanctifies himself in permissible matters, he thereby fulfills the positive commandment of the Torah: 10 “Sanctify yourselves, and be holy.”

Hence, apart from the consolation previously offered the Beinoni — that through “turning away from evil” by combating evil thoughts and desires, he affords G‑d a pleasure that tzaddikimcannot — his battle with the sitra achraalso contains a positive quality in the category of “doing good,” that is likewise not present in the divine service oftzaddikim.11 This positive quality is the fulfillment of the mitzvah: “Sanctify yourselves…,” which applies only toBeinonim, not to tzaddikim. For the intention of the commandment is that even one’s personal, permissible, and mundane matters should not be attended to out of the desire of one’s animal soul, but for the sake of G‑d. This directive cannot apply totzaddikim, who are unencumbered by desires of the animal soul, as the Alter Rebbe continues:

ופירוש והתקדשתם: שתעשו עצמכם קדושים

The meaning of “Sanctify yourselves” is: “You shall make yourselves holy.”

כלומר: אף שבאמת אינו קדוש ומובדל מסטרא אחרא

That is to say, although in truth one is not holy and separated from the sitra achra,

כי היא בתקפה ובגבורתה כתולדתה בחלל השמאלי

for the sitra achra of his animal soul is still, as at birth, at its full strength and might, in the left part of his heart — the seat of the animal soul and evil inclination,

The word kedushah (“holiness”) means “setting apart,” i.e., separation from the unholy. 12 The verse thus means: One should sanctify himself even if he must yetmake himself holy and separate from thesitra achra, for at his present level his heart still desires those things that derive from it,

רק שכובש יצרו ומקדש עצמו

yet if even while at this level he subdues and masters his evil impulse and makes himself “holy”, separate from the sitra achra, then, continues the verse:

והייתם קדושים

“You will be holy.”

The words “be holy” which, in their simple sense, voice a command, can also be understood as conveying a promise,

כלומר: סופו להיות קדוש ומובדל באמת מהסטרא אחרא

meaning that ultimately he will be truly “holy” and removed from the sitra achra,

על ידי שמקדשים אותו הרבה מלמעלה

through his being “greatly sanctified from above,” as quoted earlier from theGemara,

ומסייעים אותו לגרשה מלבו, מעט מעט

and through his being aided from aboveto expel [the[i] sitra achra[/i]] from his heart, little by little, so that even in his hearthe will no longer have any desire for anything originating in the realm of the sitra achra.

FOOTNOTES1.Bamidbar 15:39.2.Cf. Kiddushin 39b.3.Ovadiah 1:4.4.Bava Batra 16a.5.Cf. Kohelet 8:14.6.Bereish*t 27:4.7.Mishlei 16:4.8.Shabbat 10a.9.Cf. Yoma 39a.10.Vayikra 20:7.11.Based on a comment by the Rebbe.12.Cf. Rashi on Vayikra 19:2.THE TANYA OF RABBI SCHNEUR ZALMAN OF LIADI, ELUCIDATED BY RABBI YOSEF WINEBERGTranslated from Yiddish by Rabbi Levy Wineberg and Rabbi Sholom B. Wineberg. Edited by Uri Kaploun.Published and copyright by Kehot Publication Society, all rights reserved. EmailJoin the DiscussionSORT BY:NewestOldest1 Commentdata:image/png;base64,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:image/png;base64,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Schmuel MyerTampa, flNovember 30, 2010

Propensity to hesitate even in allowed things..This was also advocated by Socrates, to subsue oneself, without a framework as we have here though...Reply

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Hi brother

I don't know how many people take the Chizuk you offer

I suggest you mention once the books you recommend people to read and then fartigs

Now back to gye and recovery
It doesn't look like you're doing too well recently - I'm sorry to hear

Have you spoken with anyone yet... dov, your rebbe...?

the #1 booby-trap on the path to self-mastery is self-blame. As soon as you say, “Oy! I’m so bad for feeling that way!”—you’ve already sentenced yourself to eternal slavery. Why? Because you’ve identified yourself with those feelings. You’ve said, “That is who I am, that is how I feel.” And you have to be who you are, right?

But if you say, “Oy, it’s that burning fire/dumb animal/secretion of hormones happening again!”—so now you can choose to ignore/tame/master that fire/animal/limbic response system.

After all, you are not the animal inside. You are a G‑dly soul