Mark, thanks for the quote.

I had a similar thought last week, when I was experimenting with shmiras eynayim when shopping. I came to the conclusion that shmiras eynayim does not take place in your eyes. The eyes are not that easily controlled; if they are pointed at an object, they will robotically relay the visual to your brain. The real shmiras eynayim seems to take place in your mind, where you choose what to focus on, although I need to think about it (or practice it) some more to understand it better.

Do you think we should change the name from GYE to GYM?

Sorry if this will rub people the wrong way, but I have to get this off my chest.

Every time I read someone writing pas besalo I get angry. Like I want to reach through the web page and smack the guy around a bit. If I could erase this horribly abused phrase from everyone who has even glanced at gye I would. There is a phrase from a certain type of porn I used to watch called '*** ********' (moderators feel free to redact that but I wrote it for a reason). And every time someone says pas besalo here, that is the first word association for me, because that is what they mean.

Don't get me wrong I know the phrase is from the gemara and is quotesd in rishonim and sifrei halacha, but it has been so distorted from its original intent.

It reminds of the passuk ואל אישך תשוקתך. Which used to make me angry, why is my wife not desiring me? Where is the curse? Me in my lust warped brain thought that meant my wife should be waiting for me every night in bed with lingerie begging me to have sex with her. But of course Hashem was talking to chava and not to adam, and she understood what He meant. That she needs the love and validation from her husband. as Rav Arush repeats several times, the husband is like the sun and the wife like the moon, reflecting her husband's light.

So to with pas besalo. Lust addicts read that and say I can do whatever the heck I want. I can fantasize, I can stare because I have my wife to use as a sex toy. The real gemara that started this phrase is as follows on yuma 67a:
מעולם לא הוצרך אדם לכך אלא שאינו דומה מי שיש לו פת בסלו למי שאין לו פת בסלו
Meaning when a person has no food available he will be more desperate, when he knows where his next meal is coming from he is less desperate to find food.
Tranlated to your wife it means that a NORMAL married person should be less easily aroused becasue he knows that his wife is there. So he can be slightly less cautious when peeing for example.

The messed up addicts think it is no big deal if I get myself aroused because my wife is there. And if I get myself aroused she had better damn well be there to save me from the sin of hashchatas zera levatala.

I promise you there is no mishna gemara chazal responsa or chasidisha vort anywhere that says it is ok to lust and fantasize and stare at women in the street if you are married because a holy jewish wife has to save her holy jewish husband from sinning by being his [outlet].