Hey Chevra, still remember me?

Well… I don’t know if you’re still with me — but I know I’m still with you!

It’s been rough. Friday, Shabbos, and then Tisha B’Av… long, long hours where I stood between two voices inside me:

One begging me to fall…

And one roaring to win — not just for me, but to show you bums that I’m stronger than the Yetzer Hara!

I want to say thank you to those who were with me in spirit the whole way —

BenHashemBH, YosefHaTzadik, MenuchasHaNefesh9, Amevakesh, DavidT, BalancedFox70 (yeah yeah, still as arrogant as ever) and all other friends who commented here.

We sat on the floor together. We said Eicha together. We pushed the day through together.

Now… a small appeal. A little wake-up call to myself, and a humble request from you:

Could you please click the Thank You button on this post?

It’s a tiny click — but it’s a mighty punch and push forward for me.

It reminds me I’m not alone. That you are still with me. That I still have who to fight for.That i still have who to fight with.  Because when we're together in this battle then it's a lot easier to fight the YH.

So… come out. Hit that thank you. Let me see those lights.

I’ll love you for it.

Thank you proudyungerman, your message lit me up like that burning YH video — which, by the way, is absolutely incredible!

Thank you for the powerful words! It’s amazing how much chizuk is flying around here. Over the past two weeks, I’ve read, watched, listened, and soaked in more chizuk than in years before I found GYE. No exaggeration.

I’m still taking it slow with opening up more and connecting with chevra — baby steps — but the direction is clear, and I’m on it.

Big thank you to everyone who clicked “Thank you” on my earlier post — those clicks do matter. The more the better. Let’s keep this fire going!

Chevra, I need a psak halacha here.

Last night was one of those nights — the kind that in the past, I never stood a chance against. I used to know myself: when that specific mood hit, it was just a matter of time. I’d give in right away because I believed the fall was inevitable, and fighting it would only make me feel worse.

But last night, when that wave hit, I was in real trouble. On one side, I had the voice of my old self saying “you know how this ends.” But on the other side — there was you, my friends. My streak. My ego. My investment. My hope. And that gave me the strength to fight.

So I stacked up on sugar (which usually gives me a little boost), listened to interesting podcasts, chatted with friends, and did everything I could to avoid going to bed — where the danger is strongest.

I pushed from 9pm to 12:30am. And finally, exhausted enough, I went to bed, put my hands behind my head… and fell asleep.

But then I woke up at 5am — after a not-so-great dream. I had to change my clothes.

I think you understand what that means. I didn’t actively choose to fall, but my body clearly crossed a line.

So now I’m looking at the streak counter on GYE.

What do I press? “I’m on track”? Or “I had a fall”?

And also — if anyone can share (or point me to) a clearer shiur, video, or article on this exact scenario — I’d really appreciate it.

Thank you, chevra. Even posting this gives me more strength for the next time.

Chevra, I need a psak halacha here.

Last night was one of those nights — the kind that in the past, I never stood a chance against. I used to know myself: when that specific mood hit, it was just a matter of time. I’d give in right away because I believed the fall was inevitable, and fighting it would only make me feel worse.

But last night, when that wave hit, I was in real trouble. On one side, I had the voice of my old self saying “you know how this ends.” But on the other side — there was you, my friends. My streak. My ego. My investment. My hope. And that gave me the strength to fight.

So I stacked up on sugar (which usually gives me a little boost), listened to interesting podcasts, chatted with friends, and did everything I could to avoid going to bed — where the danger is strongest.

I pushed from 9pm to 12:30am. And finally, exhausted enough, I went to bed, put my hands behind my head… and fell asleep.

But then I woke up at 5am — after a not-so-great dream. I had to change my clothes.

I think you understand what that means. I didn’t actively choose to fall, but my body clearly crossed a line.

So now I’m looking at the streak counter on GYE.

What do I press? “I’m on track”? Or “I had a fall”?

And also — if anyone can share (or point me to) a clearer shiur, video, or article on this exact scenario — I’d really appreciate it.

Thank you, chevra. Even posting this gives me more strength for the next time.

Now… a small appeal. A little wake-up call to myself, and a humble request from you:

Could you please click the Thank You button on this post?

It’s a tiny click — but it’s a mighty punch and push forward for me.

Day 14 — Harder than the last 13 combined.

Hashem, where are You? Totty… I can’t…

Just half an hour ago, I was completely down. I said to myself, “The heck with it all. I’m not going to make it forever anyway. Two weeks is enough—I’m out.”

It was this close to happening.

But I thought, “Let me just check how many ‘Thank you’ clicks I got.”

Last time I checked, I had 8.

Now? 21.

That number—you guys—you pulled me back. It helped more than you can imagine.

I picked up the phone and called @Menuchashanefesh9. Thank you for being there, brother, it was great speaking with you! 
Music’s now blasting, my energy is back, I’m upbeat—

I WON AGAIN.

As a hakaras hatov, I just donated $21 to GYE—one dollar for each of you who helped me win this click on the Thank you button.