Like any שטיקל ר' חיים, this one too, needs to be pondered, contemplated, dissected and sourced in order to be properly understood.
On the first night of שבועות, I was learning 'דף ח in מס' ב"ב. The 'גמ there brings the פסוק that says "והמשכילים יזהירו כזוהר הרקיע" And those that are wise, will illuminate like the glow of the sky. The 'גמ interprets this to be referring to a דיין that judges a דין that is אמת לאמיתו. There's a question that 'תוס is bothered by, the double לשון, why does it say אמת לאמיתו? If it’s true, then it’s 100% percent true, what can the word לאמיתו possibly be coming to add? 'תוס explains that it’s coming to exclude a דין מרומה. Meaning that sometimes a case will come before a דיין, and if he were to judge it based on the testimony of the עדים and the dry facts of the case, he would reach a certain conclusion. However, the דיין has a feeling that something is off, it smells fishy, his sixth sense doesn’t allow him to just פסק'ן the דין based on facts alone, that is what the 'גמ means אמת לאמיתו. If he would have gone with the way the case was presented to him, that would only have been אמת. אמת לאמיתו is when he seeks to uncover the truth beyond the “facts” that are being presented.
There is a fascinating מהרש"א that brings out a beautiful point. He explains that according to תוס'’s פשט, there is an added dimension to the פסוק that the 'גמ brought. The sky, when viewed from planet earth, can be seen in an array of colors and hues, based on the weather and the position of the sun. During a cloudy day, it’ll appear as white, during a thunderstorm, an angry grey, at sunset, a mix of purples pink and orange. Nevertheless, the essence of the sky’s color and glow is an unchanging brilliant sapphire blue. One only needs to break through the facade that is this world to see the sky for what is really is - sapphire blue that reflects the כסא הכבוד. So too, the דיין that is able to see the real truth, beyond the mirage of facts being presented as truth, he will shine like the radiance of the sky without any of the optical illusions that sometimes mar its glow.
The מהרש"א then adds a telling insight into the words of חז"ל in מס' שבת. It says "כל דיין שדן דין אמת לאמיתו נעשה שותף להקב"ה", based on his previous explanation he explains this to mean as follows. When one looks beyond that which seems to be true and arrives at the real truth, he is emulating 'ה who is the ultimate דיין אמת. The מהרש"א then adds "כי הוא יראה ללבב", he sees into the heart beyond the external act. Even an act that from any human vantage point would be perceived as a sin, 'ה in his ultimate kindness, sees the “truth” behind it. How much pain lies behind the act, what were the circumstances that led him to do this, then and only then, after considering all of the unseen factors, does he pass judgement.
'ה created many different types of personalities in this world. Some are rooted in מדת החסד, others in מדת הגבורה, some are a blend of both, there is a spectrum and most people fall somewhere between the two extremes. Generally people from the חסד personalities are more emotional, while people from גבורה are more logical. Each מדה comes with its own challenges. Someone that is closer to "חסד" won’t struggle as much with being judgmental because of his easygoing nature, he lets things slide, doesn’t bear a grudge as much as one who’s rooted in מדת הגבורה. On the flip side, someone who is naturally a גבור, will generally be much more disciplined, punctual, and not as prone to the swinging emotions of someone who’s rooted in מדת החסד.
Being that מדת החסד people are more expansive and less disciplined, they are far more likely to stumble in ares of קדושה than those from מדת הגבורה. Indeed, the תורה describes one of the עריות with "חסד היא". These people are also usually blessed with a gift of an עין טובה. They are more forgiving of other people’s faults and are able to see past the factual deed that was done. They’ll have an easier time uncovering the truth that lies beyond the dry, cold, logical facts than their גבורה counterparts.
הנוגע לענינינו. My assumption is (and I could very well be wrong), that most people that ended up on this site are closer on the spectrum to the חסד side. The YH has a tool at his disposal. Even though we are able to give others the benefit of the doubt, we view them with compassion, and are very understanding of their shortcomings, when it comes to ourselves, we have a very hard time applying that same generous judgment. My understanding of ר' חיים is, that he’s pleading with us to see the truth in ourselves, the same way we see it in others. Don’t let the con artist convince you that you’re a terrible person. The acts we may have done might be terrible, but let’s remember the words of the holy מהרש"א that , "כי הוא יראה ללבב", he sees into the heart beyond the external act. Our hearts never wanted to rebel against Him, even when be sinned we were filled with remorse. If we can find it in our hearts to forgive ourselves for our past misdeeds, it will infuse us with the confidence we need, to look the YH in the eye and tell him, I’m a terrific person that has made some mistakes and starting now I will do all I can to rectify them. Hope this made sense.
