I just want to have a place where I can post stories of shmiras einayim or "wins" that I have from Day to Day. Feel free to post your own

For my first post: I was with a friend in a grocery store and we were walking behind a women... and I wasn't "looking" but it was in my peripheral. 
I decided to stop and turn around in place and my friend was like "What are you doing?" And I said "I dont know" and played it off as one of those weird interactions you can only have with friends. Then after a minute or two we continued walking.

Ah! That's what you were doing! Now I understand....
Keep it up, buddy

i was walking with my wife on shabbat,
and i started staring at my wife, shes like why you staring @ me,
so im like cause like' theres other girls coming our way, and i dont want to look,
i only look @ you darlin'
and shes like your so weird.
לחיים

cande wrote on 12 May 2024 18:55:

Get out of your high heels for a second and into her shoes.

How would you feel if she did that to you and stares at you for 30 seconds in middle of a peaceful walk?

The worst is the second u walk out of shul after a good davaning and seing a lady.... but that's when I have my biggest chance of looking away... 

Markz wrote on 12 May 2024 19:13:

id be like what the hell you doin'

markz your saying i shouldnt have done that and rather closed my eyes? (im fine being weird)

Maybe I dont have the same kavana when I daven but I don't think having a good davening makes it easier to not look. This may be me but I have to control myself when there is a mechitza that doesn't do its job properly in order to, not to leer or anything, but just glance and look away. Its an awareness or safety feature I get when my mind starts to wonder as I wait for the tzibur that I have to consciously not look to the mechizta.
Idk if that's clear but I wanted to point out that having a good davening, at least for me, doesn't increase my ability of shmiras einayim and I have to be vigilant no matter what. BH it gets easier over time but you never know when the y'h will try to get you.

I like to get real interested in a tree in that situation

I hear u, it's still hard after a good davaning but after a good davaving a person feels more connected to hashem and he's in a stronger place to be able to control his desires...

cande wrote on 12 May 2024 23:32:

That too is extreme and weird. 

We need to find a nice middle ground where we can walk the walk and talk the talk and not look wierd

It’s not that difficult.

Deeper Question is why do you have to stare at those girls. Is there nothing else to stare at without getting bored to death?

Markz wrote on 13 May 2024 00:24:

yes there is something else to stare at, my beautiful wife!

and yes it is that difficult!

help me god.

cande wrote on 13 May 2024 01:17:

Wrong answer, sorry 

Try again 

My dear brother Cande shlita, 

Markz is not playing around with you. He’s a very smart guy with a lot of experience and he’s trying to tell you something. He’s trying to say that the question you need to be asking yourself is how to develop a new possibility- that maybe it would be worthwhile to examine if there is another option. A choice other than:A) looking at other girls with lust or looking at your wife instead. 

chaimoigen wrote on 13 May 2024 02:37:

no worries reb chaimoigen, were all good.
markz is from the greatest ive learned so much from him!
im just trying to get him to disclose and help me out with "what the other option would be"
live, learn, and love!

from the many things GYE has to offer is the idea that scientifically lust comes in waves and goes away. i wished i would of known this when i was younger . when i was i bachur and the yetzer came and started up with me ,i knew that i should shlep him to the beis medrash but i thought itll be a 4 hour battle and i had no koach for that. if  i wouldve known that that the initial fire of lust will die down or at least the edge of it goes away  i would have been more encouraged to go to the beis medrash. chaval.
this morning i was planning on staying clean and a desire  popped in and i thought oh no... but then i thought you know ,they its just a wave . lets see what happens in a couple minutes,then ill decide ,and  BH got busy with something  and yes the intensity of the desire went away . BH !thank you GYE. i hope i remember this next time.