I am going through a specific experience right now, and was wondering if anyone who has been through similar has any thoughts on the matter.
I have been struggling with various inyanei kedusha nisyonos for a number of years. About 6 months ago I started seeing a therapist. The therapist I go to came highly recommended, experienced specifcally in inyanei kedusha, and it seems to me that he knows well what he's doing. The main focus of our therapy sessions was to "dig down" and see if we can come up with various different emotional "issues" that might be the cause for the urges that I have. However after going for 6 months and trying a number of various "mehalchim" we still have not come up with anything that would be considered good reason to explain the urges and my lack of control to the urges.
Although my therapist has absolutely not given up, I would like to turn to the community at GYE with a question. Has anyone else had a similar situation? If yes did you eventually come up with something? Did you ever figure out why it took so long to figure yourself out (for example did you realize that you were holding onto something that you had an extra hard time talking about...)? Did you eventually stop going to therapy due to not being able to figure things out? Did you find a different "mehalech" other than therapy that you were successful in using to figure yourself out?

All the Best
Thanks in advance

A person needs a lot of Siyatta Dishmaya to find a good therapist and also that he should he be able to help you. I started going to therapy recently ( long story how I ended up there, maybe I’ll post abt it a different time when I get some extra time in my life) and I davened very strongly to H’ that he should be the right shilyach to help me. And bh I’m having major progress and finding out amazing things about myself that is really helping me in all aspects in my life. I’m opening up to old painful Periods in my life. Like being bullied in my class and getting blamed from my parents for it… ouch ! It heart and I actually forget long ago about it but together with my therapist I remember it and I remembered that the way I would escape the pain was by going in to a different world a world of fake a world of fantasies were everything is just so beautiful… it’s a long story and I don’t got the time but I basically got so addicted to living in the fantasy world that when I grow up the second I have tough moments I just go there. Whatever I really got to right my whole story maybe one day. But my point is that therapy works but you just need a lot of SiyattaDishmaya to be matzlich! So take out a tehilem before next time  you go and say some chapters with all your heart to your father in haven and bhy you’ll see amazing results!!
Btw it can take time to see results like I was getting nervous after two weeks of not seeing progress ( I’m that impatient type) but I bh saw pretty fast after . But 6 months is a long time. So it can be frustrating especially when your paying top dollar. So I really hope you see success really fast! Love ya! Good luck ! And have a beautiful shabbos!!

Btw from your username I see that it can really be we have the same problems I don’t live real I live in fake fantasy world that I’m the best etc. I got a real a very very good therapist from relief ( r’babed) he’s very expensive but Hhm explained me that it’s worth to pay top money for the best in the field ( like if someone r’l has a bad machlah he doesn’t go to doctors that take he’s insurance he goes to the top even if it gonna cost him big bucks) .
maybe reach out to Hhm or to relief they can really help with this. Hatzlachah!

Geshmak! wrote on 27 Jan 2023 04:48:

Amazing that you’re getting the help you need. 

People are not Trucks. You open the hood, turn a switch, slam dunk, and keep on trucking. It doesn’t work like that - there’s no one size fits all therapist / therapy modality. 

We each need something else. 
Someone once said “You know why 6 million Jews died in the holocaust? There’s 6 million reasons”

Sometimes it means the therapist isn’t the right fit, but many times it’s a matter of taking time. And then for others therapy isn’t enough - they can do with SA meetings etc. 

iwannalivereal I hope you find what you need - in good time. 

KOTYT

Keep On Trucking YOUR Truck

Maybe post some (non-identifying) details of your struggle. The "give and take" from the chevra may help you uncover stuff that did not appear in therapy. 

iwannalivereal wrote on 27 Jan 2023 02:49:

Yes Yes and yes. I've been there. It seems like a tunnel with no light at the end at times. Its hard. Heres a hug.

On a side note, Its not about gaining "knowledge".  But rather about developing the ability to feel safe enough with our inner experiences and feelings and then going to the next step and developing the ability to be vulnerable and open up to others about those experiences and feelings. It took me many many months (years?) to develop the safety to begin feeling my inner world and all the pain, shame, hurt, trauma and neglect in there. And then another many months to feel safe enough and courageous enough to open up and have the courage to be vulnerable and share those feelings and experiences.. Our minds have all the answers we don't need to "figure it out". Hatzlacha! 

I've been in therapy for almost 4 years and have experiences with many different modalities/therapists. Feel free to email me. Id love to hear which modality you are currently using.