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Mashpia and Mekabel

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TOPIC: Mashpia and Mekabel 652 Views

Mashpia and Mekabel 01 Jun 2021 19:43 #369318

Pure123 Current streak: 435 days OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 15 Karma: 1	anything about this?

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 01 Jun 2021 20:33 #369321

wilnevergiveup Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1158 Karma: 112	Pure123 wrote on 01 Jun 2021 19:43: anything about this? You mean like chomer and tzurah, male and female?
	Check out My Thread and The Truth (עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד Feel free to email me wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 02:37 #369326

Pure123 Current streak: 435 days OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 15 Karma: 1	i was referring to how our struggles come from the fact that we are takers, if we can improve our being into becoming through givers lots oof the struggles should fade away.. this is more deep then the way I'm saying it, can anyone elaborate?

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 02:56 #369327

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8203 Karma: 426	https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/272099-Is-pornography-and-masturbation-selfish?
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Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 14:09 #369337

davidt
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Pure123 wrote on 02 Jun 2021 02:37:

i was referring to how our struggles come from the fact that we are takers, if we can improve our being into becoming through givers lots oof the struggles should fade away..

this is more deep then the way I'm saying it, can anyone elaborate?

In the book "Garden Of Peace" , Rabbi Shulem Arush explain this concept in depth. The idea is that a man needs to be strictly a giver (Zachur=Mashpia ). Lust is all about taking and getting not at all about giving. This is also the key to marital harmony.
It's worth to read it.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @ ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 14:50 #369340

the.guard Current streak: 697 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6436 Karma: 137	Pure123 wrote on 01 Jun 2021 19:43: anything about this? This article that I wrote in Rabbi Twersk'i book "Teshuva Through Recovery", discusses it in depth.
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 15:26 #369344

tg
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If I could subtly put in my own two cents:

I try to be a huge giver, I literally do everything in life, everything in the house, everything for the wife and kids....yet I have crazy urges and not such great streaks (problem is aside from my wife who yes Find very attractive and bh its good in that aspect)....I think there are other underlying factors to work on for all of us even the best givers....

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 17:40 #369351

wilnevergiveup Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1158 Karma: 112	the.guard wrote on 02 Jun 2021 14:50: Pure123 wrote on 01 Jun 2021 19:43: anything about this? This article that I wrote in Rabbi Twersk'i book "Teshuva Through Recovery", discusses it in depth. It's amazing btw. Thank you!
	Check out My Thread and The Truth (עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד Feel free to email me wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 18:36 #369356

s1
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I can relate to what you say about trying to be a giver especially at home. One point I have experienced on the underlying factors is - even though we try to be giving all the time and selfless for our wife and family, part of being a mashpia is also finding time and space to build up our esteem in ruchnius, like in davening and Torah, especially b'tzibur with all the positive reinforcement of being with the community. I have found that taking that time helps with the overall matzav.

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 18:51 #369358

davidt
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s1 wrote on 02 Jun 2021 18:36:

Great point!
To elaborate on this, a person can't give what he does not have himself.
So in order to be able to be a giver and give, you need to make sure to fill yourself with positive attributes...

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @ ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Mashpia and Mekabel 02 Jun 2021 18:53 #369360

Pure123 Current streak: 435 days OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 15 Karma: 1	if you ever feel any resentment that you are doing so much at home and its not appreciated enough then its not true giving... true giving means even when you don't get any appreciation in return and you are never resentful..