Everyone talks about how porn is really gross, and how right after you act out, you get grossed out because it's a gross thing and you find it abhorrent. But, you feel that you need the release so you go back to it. But, porn is gross, we know that in our worst moment. 

I don't want to trigger anyone and I don't know everyone's tolerance level, so you're forewarned.
I'm not so sure. I actually think that I like porn. I know the names of way too many pornstars. My friends (most of them) always said that they don't know any names; they just go on and watch. I'm not like that. I have pornstars that I like, pornstars whom I would love to have sex with, etc. I was even on a forum about people talking about pornstars that they slept with. I've been on worse sites before, needless to say, but I mean to say that I actually take some interest in them outside of their physical body parts. 

I don't think porn grosses me out at all. Am I ill? Is it going to be that much harder for me to get off of these stuff?

Hi my heart goes out to you yes regarding actors i know exactly what you mean but what are you thinking about sleeping with them? Why would you want to sleep with someone who has been with so many men? Remember the reason why they are interacting is because of business its no way a real relationship. It's fake you are interacting with that person to fulfil one thing... LUST. You should know sex in real life is nothing like what you see in those videos its a different experiance entirely. Regrettably the internet has fuelled a generation which view women as 'play things' and guess what this addiction doesnt get better it only gets worse unless you work on it.

Porn did not gross me out ... i was enjoying it way too much so i iunderstand where your coming from but after a clean period you do actually regret all the watching and all the mzl because in the end it was a form of escape from the real world, magical, curiousity, release anger but ultimately it broke off my relationship with HaShem by not keeping to the covenant of Avraham Aveinu.

Maybe find out how many actresses commit suicide? Or on drugs? How are they abused? They are someone daughter or grandaughter! How do their family feel about what they are doing???

This is not the Jewish world! The sin of zenus with the daughters of moab? Why this sin? Because its powerful!!! Soo powerful that they would serve avodah zara afterwards.

The choice is yours do you want a relationship with a girl who in it for money/business. Or do you want a relationship with Aveinu Shabashamayim. And NO just because we keep shabbos and kashrus and lets say learn a few hours a day ... doesn't cancel this huge sin shmiras habris is way way up there... what do you think we have a bris? Because its the biggest physical pleasure but even that we have to guard and it's not enough just having a bris.... we need to GUARD it as well.

Its up to you.. ok so your honest with yourself thats the first step ... now what are you going to do? Are you going to give in or make a stand? Remember the one thing in life which we can't pause is TIME and if you commit to 90 days and 'there is a fall' dont worry... you simply get up again until you bezrat HaShem succeed.

Be strong and much hatzlacha!!

I haven't seen anyone say they feel porn is gross, but they only go to get a release. If it was so gross it wouldn't turn them on.

The feeling after watching porn and releasing is a feeling of revulsion, because then the truth comes out. Porn is nothing more than a fake imitation of what you are seeking. 

Porn is to sex/relationships what hollywood is to real life. Completely fake.

These pornstars have no interest in you. And for the most part the industry has no interest in them either. It's all about $$$

So, does junk food good, oh yes! But after I eat a whole jar of cookies I may not feel to good.

SO what is it that your looking for in porn? Seems like to me relationship. Do you have any good, deep relationships in your life? Try to fill your void with meanigful and long lasting things. 

The porn will always be sweet, but it will also always be junk food, never really making you feel good about yourself in the long run. The choice is up to you.

I want to mention one more thing. You pointed to the difference between you and your friends. 

Dov talks about in his talks that unlike other people he cannot enjoy porn like a gentleman (and neither can I). Like  an alcoholic who cannot drink like a gentleman.

This may be what's going on here.

Shower640am wrote on 15 Apr 2021 04:41:

May I ask you why this bothers you?
What is motivating you to stop?

I can only talk for myself, that my issue isn't the "grossness" of porn. I, like you (and many others), enjoy it very much... what I don't enjoy is my life... the dysfunctionality it causes, the warped view it gives me, the way it consumes my day and takes over my brain... I can JUSTenjoy it and move on with my life.
So for me, it's not about the PORN it's about what it does to ME!

Hi Sir,

I embrace porn and love every ounce of....

....not doing it.

Like a weightlifter who gets intense pleasure from the pain of pushing his muscle to its final strength - that is how I feel about the unbelievable pleasure of pornography.

Yup - it feels awesome. But that is precisely what I have been telling myself (incessantly) over the past 146 days. I am resisting the greatest physical temptation in order to strengthen my connection to Hashem.

​Its fakeness and how it pales to the relationship with one's wife is an entirely different discussion. It is true - but completely irrelevant to this particular conversation - as all we need to respond to you is that we indeed validate that there is off-the-charts pleasure for us as well!

Now it is your turn to beat the h_ _ _ out your yetzer, cut out your hedonistic behavior and begin to bask in the unspeakable pleasure of being part of the great community of GYE.

I was there. But I stopped. And you will too.

IMG

Shmuel wrote on 15 Apr 2021 14:36:

I can relate to this, this is my situation. How can I convince myself that my life is more important than the porn I'll watch till four AM? During the day I can convince myself, but then 11 PM shows up and it's not so clear anymore...

Does your day job / schooling / Yeshiva tire you out?
If you knock yourself out silly during day hours, you will be a bit more tired at night.

Feel free to PM me; if you are committed, I will gladly help you right the  ship (BS"D)

But the key is that you really want a new life.

IMG

Ish MiGrodno wrote on 15 Apr 2021 17:47:

OMG how did you manage

One of the biggest steps is getting past the stage of being grossed out and depressed about our bad habits and recognizing how the bad habits we have or have become addicted to fill a real need and are often great at creating a short term solution. They are often excellent at providing that short term fix which is why we use them even though we intellectually recognize how bad they are and have potential serious consequences outside of any question of spiritual punishment. In fact, what often (not a professional just my thoughts) separates the minor users from more addicted is the whole that is being filled. If one has a minor need for stress relief or intimacy then minor use fills the role. If one has more significant holes they get a more serious appetite. Your wanting to have a personal connection and having a more advanced relationship with women who offer kinds words, put on a smile, and want to “help” is of course forbidden and all that jazz but it clearly has its elements in things that aren’t bad. Wanting to have close relationship as well as have intimacy which is essential for anyone but especially a lofty neshama who wants to desperately cling both to Hashem as well as to a wife. In fact that is the mashal that Shlomo Hamelech often uses in both Shir Hashirim and Mishlei. Our desire for a sex and intimacy isn’t some gross thing, it’s the Yesod of life that Hashem has made the world - it’s very foundation is the release during intimacy. No other way any of us would be around. This is why the aveira (again just my views of a regular guy) is bad not because its gross or weird or other negative things but rather because it destroys our proper sense and real desire for the real intimacy our souls so long for and cry out. When we have a problem in this we are in the hands of the wrong lover. We need to go into the embrace of Hashem. However that connection we formed is strong and tempting specifically because it provided the allure of what we really do need and desire.

Stop feeling bad, stop being depressed. Figure out the foundation of the problem and work from there. Thanks for sharing your struggles, I assure you are not alone and your idea that it  isn’t gross, isn’t gross at all. 

Shower640am wrote on 15 Apr 2021 18:44:

What happens at 11pm that this idea gets clouded? I would really like to talk to you. Feel free to email me or chat with me (360gye@gmail.com)

And to think we had WWIII over a PG rated story on this site being too triggering. Sheesh.

As people have said, it's not the porn itself that's disgusting, but what it does to you and your life.

When Chazal implore us to weigh hefsed aveirah kineged schara, we tend to think hefsed aveirah is hell, and schara is the pleasure we get from the aveirah. Some Rishonim do say this, but others have suggested that that's an impossible "cheshban" to make, how can I take the pleasure of the aveirah, which is something immediate that I am intimately familiar with, and weigh it against some impossible to grasp spiritual pain which I haven't the slightest connection with?

Rather hefsed aveirah means the damage the aveirah causes in this world, and every aveirah ruins our lives in some way or another, and it is an intensely personal avodah to dig and figure out just how aveiros are corruptiong our lives, but it is something that is going on right now, just like the pleasure of the aveirah.

Shower640am wrote on 15 Apr 2021 04:41:

I sincerely appreciate your honesty.Opening up like this and saying how you really feel is one way to address the issue.I believe that many of us are not naturally repulsed by the actual content of the porn etc.
Thank you for bringing this issue up and paving the way for so many beautiful and inspiring responses.
Hatzlocha
Lou

You may not be ill but I do think that it will be much harder for you to break free from these things. Think about it, you really want to be part of that culture? Where sex is cheap, can be paid for. There is no relationships, just each one fulfilling their desires, be it financial from one side and bodily desires from the other? For me, that life is repulsive. I do not think there is anything as repulsive to G-d where people are comfortable about their abhorrent life styles. Yes we have desires and fall from time to time. But, in that moment where the desire dissipates we reject all that we see on that screen. In fact, in the bracha of    
   ולמלשינים
I have the people that run these industries.
Personally, I find myself maybe attracted to one 'star' but just the desire. I may go back to them and even think we have a connection but I know in all honestly, there is nothing there. This is an empty woman who has sold her soul to the demons of desire.

If I have been too harsh I am sorry, just my thoughts. Feel free to message me.

Dear Shower640am,

Firstly, cool name!
Secondly. yet again I have just met another Yid who one day when asked by someone the above question 'I Like Porn', will turn around and say
"i know exactly what you mean, I was also like that once upon a time, and I guarantee you that even though it's hard to give up on this pleasure right now, it's just because you're so caught up in it, but once you live the truth you will despise it"
His name is shower640am

Don't let this opportunity slip by, you have no idea how many people you will one day be able to help..... if helping yourself wife and children is not enough.....

love excellence