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Masterbation and 90 days
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TOPIC: Masterbation and 90 days 3030 Views

Masterbation and 90 days 02 Nov 2017 12:02 #321887

  • mystory
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 I am having trouble getting anywhere in my 90  count.  Due to the masterbation part of it.
I  came here after hearing the ads about guarding my eyes, and  the dangers of the internet.  
How  watch videos and looking at images is not not a good thing.
    I  can then say  to myself  yes.  Look at all the time i have wasted looked at videos and images.

 But  I am having problems with the masterbation part of it.   
    The same argument does not apply.    It takes aboout 2-5 mins to masterbate.
 Sure you can argue its a waste of time, but too be honest its not so convincing.  Some people decide to smoke other  waste much more time on facebook and other time wasters, movies, tvs,  etc.

   So   Since I came on here I have only watched about 15-20 mins worth of videos  sure
zero would be better but  going from  1-2 hours aday to this is very good improvement.

How  how do I conquer the masturbation part, since I need a logical reason to stop it.

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 02 Nov 2017 12:35 #321888

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mystory wrote on 02 Nov 2017 12:02:
 I am having trouble getting anywhere in my 90  count.  Due to the masterbation part of it.
I  came here after hearing the ads about guarding my eyes, and  the dangers of the internet.  
How  watch videos and looking at images is not not a good thing.
    I  can then say  to myself  yes.  Look at all the time i have wasted looked at videos and images.

 But  I am having problems with the masterbation part of it.   
    The same argument does not apply.    It takes aboout 2-5 mins to masterbate.
 Sure you can argue its a waste of time, but too be honest its not so convincing.  Some people decide to smoke other  waste much more time on facebook and other time wasters, movies, tvs,  etc.

   So   Since I came on here I have only watched about 15-20 mins worth of videos  sure
zero would be better but  going from  1-2 hours aday to this is very good improvement.

How  how do I conquer the masturbation part, since I need a logical reason to stop it.

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Re: Masterbation and 90 days 02 Nov 2017 18:26 #321903

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Hi and Welcome,
Seems from the length of your question that you dont want or dont see a need to give up masturbation. So then why bother. As you wrote it takes only a short time, so why not.

However for me I can say that Lust and sex has taken control of my life including masturbation. As a matter of fact most of my acting out was masturbation only without physical images, although I had images in mind. I came to a point where if i dont stop my behavior I may one day pull the plug on my life one way or another. So I dont have to much choices.

Before I started my recovery I had only two choices. Either I act out or I act out. Today I have one more choice, which is I can work on my recovery and abstain from acting out.
I currently attend live SA meetings. Feel free to reach out to me.

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 02 Nov 2017 18:41 #321907

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Hi,

I think the answer is that a yid has to be able to hold back from giving in to improper desires, if you wont be able to hold back from this you eventually wont be able to hold back from other bad stuff.
                                            "ומותר האדם מן הבהמה "אין

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 02 Nov 2017 22:59 #321921

  • danann@
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same as me but the site dose has a "off button"
and if you look at the images and think about it, can help, try your best and hashem dose the rest but you need to try your best by use all the tools you can get and thinking about them/or do them soon as you start getting bad thoughts, but right away, may hashem  help all of us succeed and in the best fastest way. Ps. i suggest everyone to pray for themselves and each other.  
Last Edit: 02 Nov 2017 23:01 by danann@.

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 02 Nov 2017 23:48 #321929

  • serenity
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Aside from the fact that it is an aveira there is no reason to stop, unless you are like me and my other friends above who want to live happy joyous and free from addiction. If I wasn't frum and it wasn't an addiction for me I'd be fine with it. It's even considered healthy today. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 03 Nov 2017 05:13 #321937

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Welcome. Obviously if you are posting you want to stop, however its a tough habit to break. Hang around here and iyh you will break free. Hatzlocha.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 03 Nov 2017 09:43 #321944

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if you smoked a pack a day and were coughing your guts out would you want to go down to only ten cuz you"ll cough a drop less

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 06 Nov 2017 15:05 #322041

BH

I think its great that you have lowered the amount of time etc. Keep up the great work. 
But I think what usually happens its increases and the addictions becomes stronger over time. 

So at the very least never stop working on it. 

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 20 Nov 2017 02:06 #322606

Let me kindly ask you... So are you here? I really don't know the right answer for you, but I can tell you why I am here.

I am here because I tired to live a second life...

Schmutz and zera levatalah are not for me or for anyone! Even more when we loose control on our own lifes.

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 20 Nov 2017 15:43 #322629

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serenity wrote on 02 Nov 2017 23:48:
Aside from the fact that it is an aveira there is no reason to stop, unless you are like me and my other friends above who want to live happy joyous and free from addiction. If I wasn't frum and it wasn't an addiction for me I'd be fine with it. It's even considered healthy today. 

Serenity,

While I respect your take I don’t agree at all: if I want frum I would probably masturbate too, but the truth is that it would become an increasing thing for me, I’d masturbate with a frequency that would probably affect my ability and interest to be intimate with my wife, and it would probably take up a lot of time that I could use better. 

I would use pornography as well, my wife very likely wouldn’t like that even if we weren’t frum, and there are a host of other problems that would come out of it.

So yes, if I wasn’t frum and could say I would do it in a minimal and non-increasing way then maybe I would too, but since that’s the case, I’d stop regardless. 

Re: Masterbation and 90 days 20 Nov 2017 19:17 #322635

  • serenity
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Seems to me that we are in total agreement.

I can't act out in a healthy manner and so regardless of the aveira I don't do it. The original poster seems to indicate that he hasn't yet found a logical reason to stop. He doesn't do it all that much and he can now control his porn watching. I guess the aveira part isn't a "logical" enough reason for him to stop.  

I don't see where we are in total disagreement; which of course, it would be okay if we were.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
Last Edit: 20 Nov 2017 19:18 by serenity.
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