Over the last 2 years I've spent over $5,000 in TaPHSiC penalties.
More than 80% of the spending money I get from my parents. (I'm a bachur)

What does GYE think?

GorGorChashuvBachur wrote on 03 Aug 2017 22:47:

Who is gye?
Sorry I don't represent gye.
Ill just tell you what I think you shouldn't do
Get a job and pay for the 100%

Oh I forgot - an important question to your question - what do you think

Markz wrote on 03 Aug 2017 23:16:


GYE being the forum community. 

What do I think? I think that I should have made a different knas. I.e. "flieshing" for 24 hours. I would have saved lots of cash.

In all seriousness I'm worried I should have tried other strategies instead. I don't know if this is considered "healthy". I decided to use this method because it was the simplest. I didn't really try to devise any other strategies. 

GorGorChashuvBachur wrote on 03 Aug 2017 23:23:

Yes it's the simplest and confuses most people

But who cares as long as a Chashuva Organisation got their Taphsic $ 

The preffered suggestions are in the spoiler at the end of my signature

GorGorChashuvBachur wrote on 03 Aug 2017 22:47:

I think that your system ain't working. At all.

With my system I'm able to keep my falls down to about once every week or week and a half. Without it I'm falling either multiple times a day every day of the week or 10 times a week. Depending on access.

I consider that a success. I also feel obligated to continue,

GorGorChashuvBachur wrote on 04 Aug 2017 01:01:


The custom in gye is to live and let live
If you feel your life is cool like this, no one is gonna do you the favor and shovel you outa your grave

GorGorChashuvBachur wrote on 04 Aug 2017 01:01:

I absolve you
Oh you said feelings? No one can disregard your feelings.
But why do you feel obligated

Did you make a Taphsic to bind you to Taphsic

Markz wrote on 03 Aug 2017 23:36:

FTFY

If you're already asking for an opinion.....you should stop it. You're wasting your money and not solving the underlying problem. You have to deal with the problem for real. 

Read the handbook, read the links in Markz signature, and read the forums to see what works for other people.

From what we've seen on the forum, Taphsic fails for a vast amount of people. And I think this is not a success. 

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 04 Aug 2017 02:17:

IFT B4 UFTFM BTnxAnyway

That's why U see I edited the post earlier
Because I didn't want to associate that growly face with anyone on the forum who's name might in any way may resemble gor especially if he's a GorReezig with a Capital g

Let's focus on helping this bochur.

If taphsic helped minimize the frequency in acting out, then continue but not at your parent's expense. Choose a knas that will affect you.   Secondly, you need help in the next step - and a good rebbi or therapist can be very helpful. Keep posting and reading the responses. Although there are many different opinions here, most everyone wants to help you be matzliach. Best wishes.

In my experience, tapsic is a bad idea. And the money isnt even your money!!! Its your parents money that they gave you for spending! Oy vey!

I think speaking to a rebbe and a therapist is a great idea!

Are you struggling? Are you a dry drunk? Are you suffering? In my experience, monetary incentives did not help my recovery. I just feared more, felt more self pity for my self. It was just a silly game that i was playing with my self.

GorGorChashuvBachur wrote on 04 Aug 2017 01:01:

That is an improvement in terms of frequencies. Are you happy with that success? Are you open to other tools that might be more effective? I used to act out multiple times a day. Eventually I got it once every 2 weeks minimum, but that wasn't consistent. I haven't masturbated in almost 9 months and I didn't have to pay anything for it. Maybe you'll be able to keep your money. Buy yourself some extra soda.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 04 Aug 2017 03:07:

HHM,

That's a real Band-Aid solution. And even from a Taphsic perspective clearly the money isn't enough of a deterrent. He needs to do something else. Taphsic wasn't created as a once a week thing. 

I dont have any experience with the Tafsic method, as when i came here i was past many promises and self punishments, and i felt that this wont take me anywhere. However. I do see that it has helped you make a big decrease in your acting out. So this for sure demonstrates that you really dont want to act out anymore. So congrats on your progress. I want to congrat you for coming here to discuss this matter, which proves again that you are not satisfied with this and want more freedom from your acting out. I would reach out to other members that use or used the tafsic method and see perhaps you can make it more Fool proof. other than that you may want to look in to other tools to help you gain more freedom. I wish you hatzlacha on your journey.

Have a wonderful shabbos.