I knew there would be bumps in the road so due to the fact that the last few days began to be challenging I contacted my "partner."  
Verbalizing what was happening/getting it out really helped.
The computer at work has a weak filter. I am between projects- so I have some down time.
I also have pressure from other parts of my life.
This added up to some slips.
B'H the call was very helpful.

Shabbos was just awesome. Very meaningful and productive.
Guests at table. Other guests show up unannounced at different times.
Then I have a chevrusa. My time was taken up, and for mitzvos to top it all off.
Simply no time for foolishness.
Thank you Hashem

My partner called me and suggested that we talk much more often but for small amounts of time.
This he believes will be both helpful and have a good chance to last.
So far so good.

Oy vey! bad night and fell.

It started as usual with my work computer.
I had some good moments this run like being alone in a hotel room and not even opening the TV. 
I am down and not happy. Will begin again with modifications. I made a kind of Taphsic neder for 90 days. 
Not really my style or philosophy the Taphsic. After giving it much thought I think I need the jumpstart. Even though it can be argued that it is self-defeating in trying to build the right attitudes.(and taphsic is no guarantee either)
I need to:
keep my -seder hayom better.
                discussions with my partner
               learning sedarim
               Keep my viewing of the computer at work in check
Cannot bicker too much - need to get up and accomplish - one day at a time
There is a bit of excitement this time - (I've sung that song before mind you)
This time I will really make it!
May Hashem intercede and help make it a reality!

Its great how you are picking yourself up so quickly after a fall. Just curious. You mentioned earlier that you have someone you speak with. Did you call him when the challenge arose? If not, could you set that up for the future? Sometimes its worth it to have 2 partners, one in USA and one in Eretz Yisroel (or other opposite time zones) so you can always reach someone. Continued hatzlacha. Your posts are a big chizuk for all. So well written with real toichen.

yiraishamaim wrote on 15 Jun 2017 10:47:

Sorry to hear that

Hashem Help Me wrote on 15 Jun 2017 11:25:

Thank you for the wise advise and support. 

It should be with hatzlachah.

Do you have a filter? maybe you could share what was your fall was it on the computer?

tattysjunk wrote on 15 Jun 2017 14:41:

It was with my computer at work.  It has a filter but it is as if it doesn't have one. You tube and other sites can be accessed. It went from work, to recreational watching to youtube to ......

At home it is a different story.
Yet, I have had hundreds of days sober where even with acess to a computer that is not filtered I will not act out.
I need to work my way up once again.

to recreational watching to youtube to ......

Why don't you block your self from entering the stuff after youtube on your filter?
by the way what filter do you have?

I am essentially "safe" at home with no easy access to unfiltered devices. However, at work the filter is basically useless. I have ample opportunity to use the computer with no accountability.

Can you leave your office door open? Many have used the term "issur yichud" with the internet.

interesting. maybe I really could do something like that. Thank you.

5 solid days of sobriety. Keeping to a schedule, keeping /moving eyes and thoughts where they properly belong. 
Know full well that more tests will surely creep in due to my nature and acquired bad habits. 

I also have proven that with Hashem's help sobriety is surely in reach.  

I believe I have been having a particularly rough time lately 'cause G-d does not want at this time of my life, that I  to be sober and simply chugging along. After all, I have had hundreds of days of sobriety a couple of times and then fallen flat on my frustrated pathetic face. 

He wants me to soar and reach my potential in life.

I realize that.

HOWEVER, it all starts with baby steps one step/day at a time. If I truly desire sobriety, daven sincerely, follow my constantly modified program, over time don't getlulled into a false sense of security, I will get there and stay there.