I cannot begin to explain how bad I feel. My neshama is so ruined I don't even know if it's possible to recover. I keep getting passed my filters and now I can't stop watching por*. It's killing my brain it's killing my body it's killing everything!!!! I have been on this site started many dif topics and I really have gained a lot in my struggle but recently started getting really bad worse then ever before and I don't know how to deal with it!!!!! Any eitzas???

bestrong wrote on 16 Apr 2017 19:57:

Sorry to hear that.

ItI is possible.

Can you summarize your story and your methods of recovery up until now?

bestrong wrote on 04 Sep 2016 03:43:


Brother I'm sorry to hear about this unbearable / painful story

Have you dealt with that incident? With a therapist or other means?

Hi didn't really have specific methods but I just felt I was in control of myself I don't know why! I did the 90 days and I really felt confident where I was etc but now it just all fell away... and to markz no I never went to therapist and I can't cuz who will pay for it and can't really hide it... may gd have mercy on me!

May Gd have mercy on you and guide you to a friendly therapist

Trying to bestrong against an addiction is like tryin' to catch your breath while waterboardin' in a Mikva'

It's virtually impossible I think

If pay is the issue, I believe there's help available by some decent organizations. Ask the ship steward eyes.guard@gMail.coM - he may have good info for you regarding recommended therapists too

Only if you're interested...
If you prefer to just keep fighting the fight, instead of dealing with the fright, I understand - you have my prayers

Thanks for ur concern just don't think therapist is so my type although I wish it were.... and ya iv been through so much in my struggle so many different parts in all dif colors hopefully it'l just make me stronger and I'll be able to help other people One day.

Just feel so horrible coming into Yom tov..... 

Spoiler was a mistake sorry 

I hate myself sometimes too, so we're on the same boat...

If you can forget about "yes porn, no porn, I fell, I slipped, I love myself, I hate myself", think about considering to speculate about therapy, you will finally get in touch with your real flesh and blood awesome self, instead of living in a painful anonymous username life

Whatever floats / sinks your boat...

Is there any other successful ways without therapy? 

I don't know

All I can tell you, is that I've seen people who have come around with the help of a therapist, who guided them to group meetings and other productive steps.

It's a way that really works for many.

I guess you're gonna be considering marriage soon

I was reading yesterday that abuse also effects one's trust and management in marriage with another partner, and unfortunately things can get very sticky if things are left as they are - as I have seen in real life

You can bestronger person and make a stronger partner with the help of therapy, that's all I can tell you...

And I love you too!

bestrong wrote on 16 Apr 2017 21:40:

The hardcore 12 steppers hold that you don't even need therapy if you do the steps properly. 
I understand their reasoning since the 12 steps are simply a structured path back to God and the self and thus back to society as a giver.
Have you ever checked them out?

have you tried the Taphsic Method? they say it works wonders on frum ppl...
speaking of that, is there any1 here who tried it?

The TaPhSic(k) is for frum non addicts.
For addicts its a recipe for disaster.

(in my humble opinion having not tried it nor considered it)

bestrong wrote on 16 Apr 2017 21:27:

Really sorry for your troubles. I thought the same way for a while until I finally jumped into therapy 3 years ago, it was a game changer. The things I thought where the "issues" weren't always issues and I was able to work through the real issues instead of side stepping them. Not pushing you in any direction per se just sharing from my limited experience. May hashem guide you all the way to success!!!