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Sex cannot be compared to other addictions
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 1543 Views

Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 20 Mar 2017 17:40 #308659

  • farblunjet
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Alcohol maybe, but God created a person with a sexual drive, otherwise no one would get married. How can you say it's not necessary to have a release every so often? Of course everything in moderation, so there should be healthy guidelines for people to release. Why would God create an urge and force you to deny it? Channel in to the right path, yes. But completely smother it, no. Remaining celibate cold turkey is not doable. 

People can have eating addictions but you still need to eat.

[Can't delete this spoiler thingy I inserted by mistake][spoiler][/spoiler]
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Last Edit: 20 Mar 2017 17:43 by farblunjet.

Re: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 20 Mar 2017 17:46 #308660

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farblunjet wrote on 20 Mar 2017 17:40:
Alcohol maybe, but God created a person with a sexual drive, otherwise no one would get married. How can you say it's not necessary to have a release every so often? Of course everything in moderation, so there should be healthy guidelines for people to release. Why would God create an urge and force you to deny it? Channel in to the right path, yes. But completely smother it, no. Remaining celibate cold turkey is not doable. 

People can have eating addictions but you still need to eat.[spoiler][/spoiler]

I think everyone accepts that the core drive for sexuality is natural.
The problem comes for many of us when it stops being a natural drive and becomes a driving force.
But the real issue is with the word "release"
I dont know about you but I personally am going to continue to dig bigger holes in my marriage and intimacy relationship with my wife, if sex is a release.
I know for sure its not going to enamor her to me or spark her interests.
Imagine saying those words to your wife (future wife if you are not yet married)
Honey its time for my release, lets get busy.
Good luck with that...

Re: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 20 Mar 2017 18:49 #308665

  • mayanhamisgaber
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farblunjet wrote on 20 Mar 2017 17:40:
Why would God create an urge and force you to deny it? Channel in to the right path, yes. But completely smother it, no. Remaining celibate cold turkey is not doable. [spoiler][/spoiler]


maybe you read this already but I think this is a very good way of looking at it
very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 20 Mar 2017 19:03 #308667

  • Watson
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Alcoholics need to drink, they just can't have certain drinks.

People with eating disorders need to eat, but many of them can't eat certain foods.

People with sex addiction can still have sex, they just can't engage in certain sexual activities.

I hope that helps, but if not I'm happy to talk it over.

Re: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 20 Mar 2017 19:18 #308668

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farblunjet wrote on 20 Mar 2017 17:40:
Alcohol maybe, but God created a person with a sexual drive, otherwise no one would get married. How can you say it's not necessary to have a release every so often? Of course everything in moderation, so there should be healthy guidelines for people to release. Why would God create an urge and force you to deny it? Channel in to the right path, yes. But completely smother it, no. Remaining celibate cold turkey is not doable. 

People can have eating addictions but you still need to eat.
[spoiler][/spoiler]

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Re: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 20 Mar 2017 21:24 #308671

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farblunjet wrote on 20 Mar 2017 17:40:
Alcohol maybe, but God created a person with a sexual drive, otherwise no one would get married. How can you say it's not necessary to have a release every so often? Of course everything in moderation, so there should be healthy guidelines for people to release. Why would God create an urge and force you to deny it? Channel in to the right path, yes. But completely smother it, no. Remaining celibate cold turkey is not doable. 

People can have eating addictions but you still need to eat.

[Can't delete this spoiler thingy I inserted by mistake][spoiler][/spoiler]

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Re: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 21 Mar 2017 01:48 #308692

  • ColinColin
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I agree that sex cannot be compared to other addictions, namely gambling, alcohol and narcotics, because they are "learned" or "acquired".
I have argued this on here in the past.

As Watson points out though, sex can be compared to an eating addiction, because both are normal natural drives which can become misused and so ruin a person's life.

Both need a normal healthy way of use.

In the case of sex, it is within a loving relationship.

I agree I have a drive to masturbate, but if I carry it out, I feel soulless and guilty afterwards.
I also usually carry it out as an antidote to stress or emotional pain.
That cannot be a good thing.
Last Edit: 22 Mar 2017 01:19 by ColinColin.

Re: Sex cannot be compared to other addictions 21 Mar 2017 04:08 #308700

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Maybe this true real lifemashal can explain it. Tonight I really want to have sex with my wife. She has a rotten cold. So I simply wont do it. Even though if I intimated I need it I know she would agree to have relations. Why? Don't I need the release? Too bad - it's not all about me. It's painful. I really want it - but finally I realize I don't "need" it. So I can be a real man and control myself with Hashem's help. It's the same with masturbation. As desperate as I am for it, my other "partner", Hashem, says no. So I will just have to find another way to release that stress. Hatzlocha to all.
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