TafsikLeOlam Recovery Log 001
Hello everybody, this my first post. I didn't post it in the introduce yourself section since I plan on this being more like a place for me to give updates on how I'm doing than an introduction. I feel like if I tell people about my struggles it will feel more real to me and hopefully doing this will help me take stopping more seriously. I probably will given update about once a month (by off shabbosim).

Ok let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am turning nineteen and in a regular yeshivish yeshiva. For the most part I consider myself a good jew, I learn a little, I daven three times a day, I've always been kinda a good kid, but clearly I didn't come to this website if I didn't have problems. This post is actually the first time I've admitted it to anyone (albeit anonymously), but since sixth grade I've been struggling with pornography and masturbation. It makes me sad that it has been going on for that long. Recently I told Hashem that if I was motzi zera during  a certain time period I would try to get help. I guess you guys could figure out why I'm here. I'm not ready to talk to anyone not anonymously so I couldn't really go to a rebbie. I haven't watched porn since the summer but I have read written erotica as a sort of substitute ( I understand its probably not any better but I think it help me quit watching and I feel like quoting written porn will be easier) and I have been motzi zera levata a bunch of times. Now my goal is to quit cold turkey from right now. in the past  I have decided this a million times but hope fully since I was mekabel to keep you guys updated I will feel more pressure and hopefully I will get the chizuk and advice I need to stop. I plan on updating this at least every off shabbos


Signing off,
TafsikLeOlam

Welcome. You have come to the right place and should be proud of yourself for doing so. We will be there for you and cheer you along your recovery with Hashem's help. Although i understand your discomfort in speaking with a rebbi, there probably is someone in your yeshiva trained to deal with this who will be both compassionate and confidential. Think about it - there are so many people suffering with this challenge - the fact you want to do something about it shows what you are made of. Hatzlocha! Keep in touch.

Welcome to GYE,
It's amazing what you are doing and i have no doubt you will succeed. I understand it's hard to speak your problems, albeit anonymously, so kudos to you. 
please keep us posted

TafsikLeOlam wrote on 29 Jan 2017 10:03:

Welcome!

When you have off, please click the 'spoiler' button below and read the "Nice Trucking Story"

How often is off Shabbos

Welcome,

B'hatzlachah

Welcome, Hatzlacha Raba.

Welcome!

You haven't shared any info on what actions you're taking that should keep you from falling. Many people here (including me ) post about falling so I doubt posting alone will be the answer for you.... You came to the right place and this place has way more to offer than posting, look around and use the tools.

Wishing you all the best!

Welcome, brother!

Consider opening up to someone close and confidential. It would help a lot. I wish I did in yeshiva...

Welcome  TL! Together we WILL succeed! If we do this alone it can be much more difficult..