Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 23 Dec 2016 12:09:
Again, dinner wasn't ready, the table wasn't clean,
nobody was there and waiting for me, when I came home.
Nobody gets it that we are operating on a better, upgraded system
of reality now, with the family eating together and spending real
quality time together for the first 45 minutes to an hour
after I come home every night. They have all gotten so used to
the broken, bad system of behavior with everyone doing their own thing,
that they are "caught off guard" when I ask where everyone is.
. . .
So, we were running very late. I was frustrated, but finally ready to start learning.
First, my son says it's too late to start learning. I got so frustrated, I yelled at him
(not proud of that reaction). Then, we finally started, and within the very first Mishna,
we kept getting interrupted. My wife just wanted to ask him something, and then another thing,
they are talking in whispers using hand gestures back and forth,
as I read out loud the Mishna, and I got so frustrated, that I left the table.
NO learning, no shalom bayis, but no computer, and no late-night either.
I slept well, until I heard an animal on our roof at 5:00 in the morning.
I will make up with everyone today, so that I/we go into Shabbos with shalom.
I think I'm only 2 full days into Cold Turkey...I sure hope it gets easier,
because last night sucked!
Good job on your new "upgraded system." It is impressive that you more or less upgraded the system over night. I don't think that it is fair, however, to expect everyone else in the family to flip the switch the same exact second that you do. It has been months (years?) since you made a special focus to family time and supper, you cannot expect that the minute you decide that you want it again, they will all be there waiting for you. You need to earn their trust again, they may need to see that you really are committed to this upgrade, before they get their hopes to high up and jump on board. Keep up the good work,
and keep a positive attitude, creating a positive atmosphere in the home. When your family sees that you are really committed to this "upgrade" and desire quality family interaction, they will slowly come on board. Be patient and positive.
Hatzlacha Rabba.