hey I'm back after deciding to ignore the emails for a while. I do have a sort of steady relationship now but I don't get to see my special friend all that often due to crazy work hours. I often find myself using visual aids to substitute them when I feel lonely. And I do like it but at the same time I know I should be with the other person but at the same time that persons not there!  I'm very confused. I signed up to the site a long time ago when I was a very different person and sure of myself. Not so much anymore. Could anybody help kinda figure out what to do in my situation?  Thanks!

Hi Seichel,

I can't say I really understand your situation and what you're talking about when you talk about your special friend and the visual aids you use as a substitute. Can you be clear about what you're talking about?

Meaning use real words- is your special friend a girlfriend, fiancé, and are the visual aids porn or pictures of them? I honestly couldn't figure it out. 

Yes. My special friend is the person I'm in that relationship with and the visual aids are p--- videos

I'm not sure who is writing and who is not, who is the other, and who is substituting for what. Porn is instead of the other who is in place of the real relationship? Which one is good and which isn't? I guess you can always try shortstop.

Whatever, stick around, it will sort itself out.

B'hatzlachah

Hi seichel,
I would love to help you out but I am confused. I do not understand the language you are using to describe stuff. Please tell us your story in a clearer fashion with real words. If you are uncomfortable with that, which u shouldn't, please email me (360gye@gmail.com) and ill be happy to help

I'm getting a lot of people not understanding me. Let me try again. I Substitute porn for my partner who is missing from the relationship due to crazy work hours. 

i have a few questions: 1) why are your hours crazy? 2) is it possible to minimize your hours?
3) how do you find time for porn, but not for your partner?
4) how is your relationship with your partner?(do you think it could use improvemwent)
5) does your partner know about your problem?

It's actually my partners job that's crazy. Hence they're not with me and time for porn.  They know about the problem and yes I think the relationship could use improvement like actually seeing each other 

How about explaining the situation with her along with severity of it and I'd she doesn't make effort to be around more often then end the relationship.
My personal opinion

seichel wrote on 17 Aug 2016 20:45:


I'm a little confused- are you sexually active with your partner? Are you substituting porn for face time with your partner or for Sax with your partner?

Woaw, woaw. I don't know about you but I can barely understand this situation at all.

Could you run through it again please, explaining exactly what relationship you're talking about, and exactly what the problem is.

I don't know what you mean by 'relationship'. Do you mean a sexual relationship? What's the problem with porn exactly? Are you saying you watch porn and want to stop but can't? How often? For how long? Is that all you do, or is there more? What's your question exactly?

My favorite mantra is KEEP ON TRUCKING
But today I have to make an exception

360gye wrote on 17 Aug 2016 21:08:


Mr 360gye please sloooow down

seichel wrote on 17 Aug 2016 20:08:

If I may ask, by saying your partner, do you mean your wife?

No not wife. And the situation is being worked on. They want to quit job, she doesn't like it.  It's too crazy hours for her. Once we can get her set up w something more steady I think half the problem is solved. I was seeking input what to do in the meantime 

Until you can write a logical sentence, do you mind to change your username?
seichel doesn't make sense

Just kidding
How about you pickup the phone and speak to someone here and they'll help you tell it like it is