Dear Friends,

long time I could not realize that I am so much in the dirt. After my secular studies, I went to yeshiva and only there I realized how much I desire this sin, which is as I understand now total normal, because if you do that of several years it is one part of you, but it was not my fault as I fell into it, because I knew nothing about it and in the society it was totally normal. 

I want to share with you what helped me until now Baruch HaShem.  
This was the amazing Sefer Alei Shor by Rav Shlomo Wolbe sz'l. He writes there the whole Avodas haMussarit is about Maasim Ktanim (Small deeds) i.e. you decide to do a very small deed over a long period of time. In the second Chelek he gives real exercises how to work on Middos (i.e. Patience, Aprreciation, Judging favouritly a.so.). But one of the most amazon things which I learned was that Sazing Blessings with Kawanna IS the direct way to Yiras Shamayim (Alei Shor II p.314). A DIRECT WAY to Yirat Shamayim. Therefore I started to practice his exercise to say ONCE a day the blessing: "HaMotzi Lechem Min Haaretz" with the Kawannot of Shem HaShem Haja, Howe weJihje and the G-d of the world and having in mind the picture of the milky way and concentration on the words! You can even start with "Shehakol". But only once a day. Because if you do too much the Yetzer Hara will fight against you, you have to go under of its radar.

I would suggest EVERYBODY to start learning this Sefer. Start learning and DOING the Mussar vaadim in the second Chelek and while you do that, learn the first part of the Sefer.

Other suggestions I would like to give: DO you know what makes us holy? Not going to Mikwa everyday (I am not coming against the people whose minhag it is), Not saying whole day Tehillim ( even so Tehillim are very holy),     BUT bowing down by "Modim" and know/concentrate before whom you bow down. Before you say the Bracha "Asher Yatzar" concentrate on your body for 20 seconds, feel the breath, feel the heart beat, feel how YOU are in control of your movements and not your feelings, FEEL your body and then say the Bracha. Do not do it by every Bracha, do it once a day for several weeks (at least 6, but every day). Also the Modim decide by which Amida you want to do it and do it every day only by that Amida. I tell you these ARE NOT MY METHODS, the Principle I heard by his TALMIDIM and are written in the Sefer. 

Until then Do not make you crazy with the sin, It is ok, you are not an angel and you are not a yet a Tzaddik, You have feeling, your heart is beating, you are breathing, You have feelings, happiness, sadness, angriness, desires, love, hate a.s.o.

YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING! AND THIS IS GREAT!                   

As long as you know you have to improve.

I wish you all my heart full wishes and may we all be saved from the Shmutz and become holy all in our own way and may the HOLY ONE, BLESSED BE HE, BLESS US WITH LOTS OF SIYATA DISHMAYA AND DAAT !

MisterD91 

Sounds cool!!!

would you share with us how many days and hours are you sober with this?

Hello markz,

It is not only about becoming clean. It is about becoming holier and change yourself. And this can only be accomplished by small steps. I will write besrat Hashem some more advicea in differen posts. And I wish you much Hazlacha. If you (or somebody wants to write me personally I will be happy to help. Because i want to help people. Kol tow.

Welcome,

Mark didn't ask for advice.
He asked for your experience with this.

B'hatzlachah
 

MisterD91 wrote on 25 Feb 2016 22:07:

So how does this stop me from watching porn?

MisterD91 wrote on 06 Mar 2016 22:44:


But MrD, becoming clean IS becoming holier. On קדושים תהיו, Rashi says הוו פרושים מן העריות, and we know that כל מקום שאתה מוצא קדושה שם אתה מוצא גדר ערוה.

So becoming clean is becoming holy, although of course there's always more.

Workingguy wrote on 11 Mar 2016 13:40:

And many of us need to become clean before we become holy.

To rephrase The holy working guy - The act of cleanliness is holiness, and we must always add more

KOL TOW

Hello guys, 

It did not help me because i did not know of this method. Would i have known it it would have been easier. 
The point is to change oneself completely and to aquire second nature. Because then it will second nature to love and fear HKB'H, Melech Malchei HaMlachim, and you will not need to fight because it will be natural.
And even if it will not help you to stop, you will aquire mitzves and schujot, and start doing some things with Kavanna which is the soul of the mitzvot. And do you really think i invented it, Rav Shlomo Wolbe sz"l, wrote in his Sefer Alei Shor. You have even shiurim on Torahdownloads.com. He was a Talmid od the Mirrer Mashgiach, Reb Yerucham Leivovitz sz'l. 
I will end with this even so i have more to say: what will you loose when you try it out? You can only gain. Is it really so difficult to take 10 seconds of 86400 seconds of the day to say one bracha with proper kavannah. Only one bracha a day throghout 2 month? Tell me? Analyse your opinions on it with the attribute of Torahtruth and do not bribe yourself by the yetzer hara. Kol tov and Hatzlacha.

Kavannot:

Baruch- Makor habracha weShefa
Ata - Hu
Hashem- Adon haKol, Haja, Howe qeJihje
Elkeinu melech haolam - Takif, Baal kol hjechalot we Kochot Kulam, Sibot weSibotweSibot Ilot weIlot (i.e the Master and cause of everything)Hatzlacha

MisterD91 wrote on 19 Mar 2016 18:22:


MisterD,
It's a great idea and one everyone should do, but it has nothing to do with stopping to act out or looking at pornography or masturbating. So you have my blessing for sure, but if you have sexual issues you should probably look for something else to help you.

MisterD91 wrote:

Every effort no matter how small, our Maker honors, what a  blessings to see all the little things of nature, our Maker did this, so, He takes note of the little things.