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Fighting a losing battle

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: Fighting a losing battle 1069 Views

Fighting a losing battle 19 Nov 2015 01:52 #269000

heartofkedushah
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Hello. I'm new to the site and I'm hoping some of the vets here can help me.

What do you do when you find yourself fighting your urges, but start to lose control and are aware enough still to do something about it? Many times I find myself starting amazingly strong, then find myself grappling with the urges and finally resigning in defeat after a while simply because I feel like there's too much... pressure. (I don't have a better word.)

Please leave some suggestions, or if anyone else feels like they have a similar issue but isn't exactly like I portrayed mine, feel free to leave your struggle as well. Who knows, I may even be able to help with someone else's struggle and that might give me the strength and resolve I need for this fight.

Re: Fighting a losing battle 19 Nov 2015 02:56 #269008

shlomo24
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WOW! WELCOME! you are in a good place here. the guys here are great and very supportive. and some people even (think they

) are funny!

all kidding aside i really related with what you wrote. pressure is the optimal word for that situation. it feels like the world is crashing down sometimes, no? and when we masturbate or watch porn those feelings seem to dissipate, but then we feel like garbage again because of what we did. i also resonated with the starting strong and falling, life for me has had crazy "peaks and valleys", but you know what i have learnt? that sometimes peaks and valleys can create a gorgeous landscape when i take a step back and look at it. for me accepting that i am going through a "high" or through a "low" has been very helpful. I try not to get to hard on myself when i am waydown and not get too intense when i am feeling great.

i am assuming that people will give you links to the GYE tools also.

p.s - i really like ur username, deep down we are all pure.

If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can.

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Last Edit: 19 Nov 2015 02:56 by shlomo24.

Re: Fighting a losing battle 19 Nov 2015 03:06 #269011

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Shlomo wrote: WOW! WELCOME! you are in a good place here. the guys here are great and very supportive. and some people even (think they ) are funny! Shlomo - I think that was your best joke to date! You deserve a karma from 1 and 9, to 2 and zero
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story Last Edit: 19 Nov 2015 03:06 by Markz. Reason: Hes a great guy

Re: Fighting a losing battle 19 Nov 2015 03:58 #269020

bigmoish
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Karma: 170

Shlomo24 wrote:

i am assuming that people will give you links to the GYE tools also.

Welcome.
Check out the links in my signature.

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Fighting a losing battle 19 Nov 2015 12:12 #269049

Markz
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Posts: 8259
Karma: 428

My friend we had a nice chat last night, and I thought to share with you what I found on the (exclusive) teens forum
WhenZaidyWasYounger wrote:

I agree with MR. DMS1234567 that the earlier you catch this, the better off you will be.

However, I disagree with his suggestion about chatting and private messaging.
It is important to reach out to real people, someone you can trust, someone you can open up to. Using the chat bar and speaking to anonymous people can help, but can cause a lot of harm as well. I am sure that everyone on this site is well-meaning and has good intentions (I certainly hope so), but not everyone offers the right advice, and not everyone can give the correct suggestions.

As a teenager, one can be very impressable (if there is such a word) and caution must be taken. I know that most teenagers don't want to hear this, but if you are here on this site and would like to embark on the road of recovery, do yourself a favor and do it the right way.

The best first step is to reach out to someone you trust...a Rebbe, teacher, parent, mashgiach, mentor, etc. Another good step would be with the phone conferences and perhaps connecting with one of the phone moderators. If you will be chatting with fellow gye members, choose wisely. This has nothing to do with Mr. DMS987654; I do not know him; it has to do with the best methods of recovery for teenagers.

Thank you

wishing you all much hatzlachah in your road to recovery

My Story---------Dov Quotes

FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Fighting a losing battle 19 Nov 2015 18:47 #269099

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	Welcome! The first problem is "fighting your urges". Once you get to that point, it is indeed very difficult. The "trick" is to avoid the fight altogether by "living right". Read the handbook, click the dov quotes link in my signature. Keep posting. You are on your wy my friend to real freedom.
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: Fighting a losing battle 20 Nov 2015 19:52 #269182

heartofkedushah OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 3 Karma: 1	Thank you Shlomo. The name is a way for me think positivley, that I CAN and WILL get through it because this is not what I truly am. Rather, I truly am a lev tahor.
	Last Edit: 20 Nov 2015 19:53 by heartofkedushah. Reason: forgot to address who I'm thanking. Though I due thank everyone!

Re: Fighting a losing battle 20 Nov 2015 19:58 #269183

heartofkedushah
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Fresh Boarder
Posts: 3
Karma: 1

markz wrote:

My friend we had a nice chat last night, and I thought to share with you what I found on the (exclusive) teens forum
WhenZaidyWasYounger wrote:

Thank you for giving me this. I have in fact let my mother know about this (she's the one who directed me here as we're close to Dr. Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski and he suggested this site.) as well as my Rosh Yeshivah and psychologist. We're all working together. As far as the caution note, I see the truth in it, but I also realize that right now, this is where I've been directed to and I am willing to give this site a chance. I'll be careful, but I will continue to use the site and all it provides.