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I'm about to FALL!!
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: I'm about to FALL!! 184464 Views

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 04 May 2015 11:00 #253809

  • David26fr
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Thanks for your messages, I am happy if my experience could help to face the addiction

If I have some thoughts of lust since the fall, finally the desire has slowly decreased.
For sure, when the YH come and say "you must do it now, it's indispensable,you can't live without it, after this all will be better, if you don't do it your head will be like scrambled eggs...and so on", it's plenty of lies !
If we succeed to resist, after a moment even a strong strong desire can pass. And tomorrow is ALWAYS a new day with new forces, and nobody can say how it will be !

I am alone at home today because I am ill, I only hope that Hachem will permit me to stay sober... only for this day. Tomorrow doesn't exist.

May Hachem helps us all !

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 26 Aug 2015 11:09 #262757

  • Dov
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"David26fr" seems to have taken a vacation from GYE posting, no? Gevalt, what could that mean? Maybe good - all the posting oes for some ppl is get them more and more excited about 'when they are finally gonna fall', or stuff like that. In other words, posting feeds the obsession part of the problem for some people. It really does.

On the other hand, like he himself wrote, reaching out, "being home alone" is not good...his mind is ready to race and obsess without anything attracting him at all! His greatest danger of all lies between his own ears!

That's a rough spot to be in, no? When your greatest enemy is - your own self!

But it is really very comon. It is why alcoholics and most other addicts in recovery go to meetings. Sure, there is often wisdom there...but what we really need first and foremost is to get out of our own heads. Our very own minds are the worst neighborhood to be alone it of all neighborhoods.

Until a sick guy becomes willing to really admit that, he will keep isolating, keep trying to think or 'post' his way out of his shame and craziness.

And he will fail.

For posting on GYE is still isolating. Especially for those who do not use their real names in their posts, but hide behind a fake persona. And anyhow, getting fully open here on GYE is suicidally stupid, for it is very dangerous - anybody can read the forum, including your wife, bad-intending people, or - nobody.

if the discussion here picks up again since 05 of May, it will be a good thing, but still not enough, I suspect. And that's OK! For there are many other great things out there that will help fix the isolation and obsession besides posting here.
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 26 Aug 2015 20:31 #262785

Ive already been falling into the slow mind games of the heeded hora and already looked at a picture or two I shouldn't have looked and at a bunch of erotic sites....anyways I just hope that by posting about my struggle the isolation aspect of this addiction will be rooted out in some way. I just gotta live in the moment and forget that ive has a couple minor slips today...im not in control...

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 26 Aug 2015 20:46 #262787

  • cordnoy
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evedhashem4life wrote:
Ive already been falling into the slow mind games of the heeded hora and already looked at a picture or two I shouldn't have looked and at a bunch of erotic sites....anyways I just hope that by posting about my struggle the isolation aspect of this addiction will be rooted out in some way. I just gotta live in the moment and forget that ive has a couple minor slips today...im not in control...


Good thing you posted here....Good move.

But is "hope" your best game plan?

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Sep 2015 00:06 #263096

  • Dov
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evedHashemforlife, why do you refer to your problem as an addiction? I am not challenging, but sincerely asking. i am an addict myself, so i certainly believe it exists...but still, would you mind getting a bit personal here to answer that?
thanks
- Dov
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Sep 2015 13:44 #263115

I don't know if this means im an addict but id say it think im addicted because of how how completely powerless I feel to the urges and temptations of lust despite thinking constantly how is is doing terrible things to myself

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 02 Sep 2015 17:29 #263135

  • Markz
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"thinking constantly how is is doing terrible things to myself"

Hi E.H.!
I tried this "thinking constantly how is is doing terrible things to myself" and it doesn't work much, and I don't believe I'm the only one.
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Re: I'm about to FALL!! 03 Sep 2015 21:37 #263237

Help. I am about to slink off to a tavern to drink to excess which ultimately leads to a whole plethora of aveiros. Help!!!!!!!!

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 04 Sep 2015 00:11 #263251

  • cordnoy
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ataglance12345 wrote:
Help. I am about to slink off to a tavern to drink to excess which ultimately leads to a whole plethora of aveiros. Help!!!!!!!!


You have our prayers.

Good listens to yours as well.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 04 Sep 2015 16:03 #263285

B"H I had a very positive experience last night. I was in a situation where it would have been perfect for me to go to a tavern and engage in my negative behaviors. I was really really having a hard time fighting the urge. So I went on GYE, and put out a message to ask for strength for this specific urgent situation. Instead, I ended up reading my earlier posts and said to myself...do I want to go through this again???? I could not believe what I had written the "day after". So B"H, I got in my car, and went home. Went to Mincha Maariv came home and went to bed shortly after. No waking up full of tumah and guilt. A small victory, but a good one.

I did notice something very interesting, though. I did not go home and have a drink, or even crave one. What I was craving was the experience of going out to a bar, and all the schmutz that it entails. This tells me that this is not a substance issue, but an emotional issue completely. And I will be very honest, I missed not going out, I craved it terribly and felt like I was missing out on something by not going out to a bar. I was missing out, but that is for the good. So, B"H since Rosh Chodesh Elul I have not gone out to a tavern, period. I hope with Hashem's help, that I can stay out for all of Elul, and for the Aseress Yamei Teshuvah, and G-d willing through Simchas Torah. I thanked Hashem profusely last night for giving me the tools to fight my Yetzer Hora. I can daven as much as I like to ask Hashem to REMOVE my Yester Hora but that will never happen. What I need to daven for is the strength and tools to FIGHT my Yetzer Hora. So, to sum up, GYE was a tremendous help last night, if only that I read my past posts and did not want to go there again. Is there some sort of "hotline" though that we can call when we feel we are going ot go over the edge...I could have used some support last night, but in reality, I got plenty of support by reading the posts from some very caring and truly concerned people so Yasher Koach to you all.

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 04 Sep 2015 18:22 #263297

  • shlomoy
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ataglance12345 wrote:
B"H I had a very positive experience last night. I was in a situation where it would have been perfect for me to go to a tavern and engage in my negative behaviors. I was really really having a hard time fighting the urge. So I went on GYE, and put out a message to ask for strength for this specific urgent situation. Instead, I ended up reading my earlier posts and said to myself...do I want to go through this again???? I could not believe what I had written the "day after". So B"H, I got in my car, and went home. Went to Mincha Maariv came home and went to bed shortly after. No waking up full of tumah and guilt. A small victory, but a good one.

I did notice something very interesting, though. I did not go home and have a drink, or even crave one. What I was craving was the experience of going out to a bar, and all the schmutz that it entails. This tells me that this is not a substance issue, but an emotional issue completely. And I will be very honest, I missed not going out, I craved it terribly and felt like I was missing out on something by not going out to a bar. I was missing out, but that is for the good. So, B"H since Rosh Chodesh Elul I have not gone out to a tavern, period. I hope with Hashem's help, that I can stay out for all of Elul, and for the Aseress Yamei Teshuvah, and G-d willing through Simchas Torah. I thanked Hashem profusely last night for giving me the tools to fight my Yetzer Hora. I can daven as much as I like to ask Hashem to REMOVE my Yester Hora but that will never happen. What I need to daven for is the strength and tools to FIGHT my Yetzer Hora. So, to sum up, GYE was a tremendous help last night, if only that I read my past posts and did not want to go there again. Is there some sort of "hotline" though that we can call when we feel we are going ot go over the edge...I could have used some support last night, but in reality, I got plenty of support by reading the posts from some very caring and truly concerned people so Yasher Koach to you all.
Vechatosi negdi tamid

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 04 Sep 2015 19:15 #263299

Shviti Hashem Lenegdi Tamid...

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 24 Sep 2015 16:44 #264544

Hi
I am brand new here and am so happy I found a place where I can speak to people in my circumstance. I have just embarked on the 90 day challenge but I am scared of failing on the 2nd day due to urges to go and j/o how do I stop these urges.
Please help me

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 24 Sep 2015 18:43 #264570

  • MBJ
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Can you go somewhere else or do something else? Can you decide that at least for right now you will not act out?
My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer
Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical
When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: I'm about to FALL!! 24 Sep 2015 18:54 #264573

  • gibbor120
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Hi gonnadothis! WELCOME! Why don't you start your own thread in the "introduce yourself" section. Read the handbook. Share on the forum. Follow some links in my signature. The beginning is tough, but it's worth it!
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