To someone who claimed that he was going to try and over-power the Yetzer Hara, 'DovInIsrael' writes: It probably won't work. The Y"H is just waiting for you to pick a fight with him. Instead, try this: When he comes knocking at your door, invite him in and show him to t...

A well-known saying asserts that in foxholes there are no atheists. When we're in a position of pain, danger or need, something within us awakens and reignites a deep connection to our Source. And somehow, with this connection, we find strength we never knew we had and th...

Dear Duvid Chaim, Here's what I understand so far about this great voyage that we're on. Please let me know if I'm getting it right. 1. We are not working on the Lust Addiction (we are powerless over the addiction), rather we are working on: Understanding where the Pain ...

Some people want to know if one cycle through the 12-Steps is enough to be fully healed. This question actually reveals an underlying character defect that all addicts have. We're all looking for that "magic bullet" that will give us the quick fix. "I want to be healed no...

I touched on this before, but I need to say it again to reinforce it to myself. In the past I have made it 30 days or more. But I can't say that I felt as good about it as I feel now at just 20 days clean. Why? Because it felt like a struggle that was holding me down, and...

Eye.Nonymous wrote on the forum recently: I was thinking that this AA attitude that an addict is "allergic" to their addiction and is forever vulnerable, seems to be very much in line with Chazal, as they say: "The Yetzer Hara is misgaber on a person every day, and withou...

One of the SA guys here on GYE, schlepped me out of the sewer and sent me to the first person I've ever known that I couldn't con. I had the merit to talk on the phone with Harvey, one of the founding fathers of SA (he's an old guy today). Talking to Harvey was seeing mys...

B"H, today is day number 76. But as Dov says, I need to always ask myself, "how can I make the days count, and not just count the days?" Well, the way that I hope to make today count is to go easier on myself and not punish myself with thoughts about all the things that I...

Imagine the alcoholic going to the opening of the world's most exclusive restaurant. The tab is at least a thousand dollars and he waits hours on line for the privilege of paying to eat there. Finally, he gets his table and sits down. The waiter brings him the menu and he...

I walked by a guy the other day and he had a look of disgust on his face. First I was mad - thinking, "Who does he think he is?" Then I got outraged - thinking, "Doesn't he know who I am?" I joke with my kids saying, "Do you have any idea how important I am in my head? Af...

Whatever method or system we've been using on our own up till now, has obviously not worked or we wouldn't be here, dealing with lust and masturbation in our daily lives. SO WE HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT OUR OLD SYSTEM JUST DOESN'T WORK, PERIOD. We need to try something NEW. We ...

"Yearning" wrote me the following e-mail: "SA is going very well, we reviewed the 4th step tonight. But one thing is bothering me: Do I have to live in pain my whole life as an addict??" I replied to "Yearning" as follows: Please note what the Alcoholics wrote back in 19...

  We are all shaken up by the terrible tragedy in NY. How could someone who looked and acted so normal stoop to such a horrendous crime? Steve from the morning 12-Step phone conference wrote: "We spent some time on our call today speaking about the tragedy in Brooklyn, a...

I'd like to take a moment to share with you an idea about the first step which I feel is not expressed often enough in recovery. The original first step of the Oxford group was known as "complete deflation". The Big Book speaks over and over again that the beginning of th...

This is the second time in my life that I have gone 100 days without HZ"L. The first time was before I came to GYE, when I read a sefer, "Veha'er Einaeinu" by Rabbi Yosef Goldschmit of Kiryat Sefer. The main point of his sefer is based on something that Rav Chaim Friedlan...

Click here for a beautiful page about "Gratitude" (that Duvid Chaim shared with his group recently). An "Attitude of Gratitude" is one of the fundamental strategies for maintaining sobriety for the long-term, and it is one of the secrets of the success of the 12-Step prog...

Religious people, myself included, like to say that God's law is absolute, that it transcends the subjective, arbitrary and hence fleeting quality of human law. But how do you test a thing like that? I've found a way. I call it the "Canary in the Coal Mine Phenomenon" and...

SEEMINGLY GETTING NOWHERE I feel silly that although I am a veteran on Duvid Chaim's calls, when I'm on the street, my eyes dart everywhere, and this doesn't seem to have changed at all. Every once in a while I have some sort of realization, and it gets better for a day ...