Thank you all for your input. It means a lot to me.
I am sure this post will raise some eyebrows, yet I will share with you my thoughts.
In answer to those who suggested therapy or medication, medication is most certainly something that I would like to avoid. With the widespread deadly drug epidemic that is going on throughout the world, including the frum community, the last thing I would want to do is develop a reliance on drugs. Many drug addicts began with prescribed medications, but the reliance on drugs eventually led them to using other non-prescribed dangerous drugs. So medication is not an option for me.
This may sound like a poor decision, but at this point, I firmly believe medication is just not worthwhile for me.
Now, to the recommendation of therapy, I would say as follows: While I have never seen a therapist for anxiety, I have seen therapists for other unrelated reasons in the past. I have seen "solid" therapists who "specialized" in the areas that I needed at the time.
Based on my experience with therapy, coupled with many conversations that I had with other therapy patients, I must say that I have little belief in therapy.
Before you jump on me, let me please explain myself. I certainly believe that therapy has a degree of legitimacy. However, as with everything in this world, I believe that there is also a tremendous amount of flaws and falsehoods both in the therapy philosophy, and particularly in the therapy practice.
Nothing makes me believe this more than the people who I see are becoming social workers, psychotherapists and even psychologists. I hate to say this, but I see plenty of friends who are cruising through school, obtaining degrees in the mental health field, yet these individuals are truly inept and incompetent, and I would never entrust them with my mental health.
By extension, I have little faith in any mental health professional, because after all, since the mental health "professionals" that I personally know are inept; why should I believe that the ones that I don’t know all happen to be competent mental health professionals?!
Let me be clear: I am sure that there are some fantastic mental health professionals who can really help me. I just believe that they are so few and rare, that the frustration and financial costs of jumping from one therapist to another therapist, until I find the right therapist, will make me sadder, more anxious and even less hopeful about ever growing out of this.
Indeed, I once spoke to a man who is very affiliated with the mental health field, and when I told him why I don’t feel motivated to seek a therapist, he responded; "well that's therapy; sometimes it takes years to find the right one". I can only speak for myself, but I sure have no interest to jump from one office to another office, sharing my life story with each "professional", pay them $150 a session for "years" until I "find the right one". That lifestyle is just not for me.
Some may argue that this is a poor decision, and I definitely understand them, but I just feel this way very strongly.
And that is what leads me to this forum. Sometimes, tips and even mere sympathy from fellow sufferers can help me further curb my anxiety in ways that I did not know of beforehand.
I welcome further discussion, dialogue and analysis of these points.
Thank you!
i think cords put it well in terms of the advice from gye standpoint (although i dont know if this was his intention)-ur not getting good advice in terms of treating a real condition of anxiety over here. and theres alot more to therapy than advice.
i agree very much that there are MANY incompetent therapists. i also agree that its very costly. been there done that. i once spoke to a head of a major referral organization regarding seeking a therapist for a particular issue (not anxiety) to my surprised reaction that he only listed around 6 therapists and of those 6 he suggested only 2 or 3 for me, he replied, ''oh there are many therapists in this area- i would just never send anyone to them!''
all of what your saying i relate to but i think there is one thing that is being overlooked.
what about a therapist who has a very high rate of success? obviously hes not incompetent. we believe that only Hashem gives the refuah but that guy must be a heck of a shliach, no? maybe try searching in that direction.
it must be stated that at the end of the day therapy is a like a relationship and for some it has to ''click''. there are great therapists with a proven track record that are not for me and prob. likewise to you. but this would seem to be the most sensible route. gaurd your eyes is hardly the place where you will be able to treat anxiety-and thats coming from someone who the knows the sugya personally. and for that matter-any support group will give you support and perhaps some book knowledge but in no way compensates for the therapeutic experience. there is lots more to say about this topic but ive rambled and ill see how the conversation plays out.
for the record,i have had extremely positive and very negetive expiriences with therapy and it burned a hot hole in my pocket. but i would be a completely dysfunctional individual (shut up, trouble!), if not for the time that i took the leap and went to the one that was positive.
p.s. while editing, i just want to add one important point. anxiety has various levels and degrees. i dont know how much you are suffering and how much it disturbs your daily life. by me it was completely unbearable. it is possible that sympathy and ideas (good ones) do help for lower level anxiety. i dont know much about that. but you should be able to tell how much its disturbing your life and keep track of that (obviously your not in denial because of what you say in your posts, i was) if you see that somethings broke and it aint being fixed its time to broaden the horizons perhaps.
i wish an amazing life of menucha to you. i really do.