Yup!!

Go for it, with your head held high, you are doing what is right and there is no reason to be ashamed of it!!!

Keep us posted!!

I went to the introduction meeting. The man was younger, friendly and answered all my questions. For the first time I had a feeling, this is not an organisation, it is a person in front of me.

I feel bad not telling my wife. I will tell her of course. First I will attend a meeting though, to see. This thursday is not good for me, so I will join them next thursday.

I was honest. And it felt good, that I am not trying to be charming, just honest. As much as I can.

Good goin'!

Like we discussed, it is good that you have the feelin' of honesty to tell your wife, but imho, it should be put on hold until you go several times, unless of course someone who knows your family well thinks otherwise.
I think you will be in a much better place then.

b'hatzlachah

KUP!

A huge mazal tov to you Yehoshua. Being part of the fellowship is amazing. The fringe benefits are far more numerous than I ever anticipated before joining. It's also improved my interaction with the other fellowship called Am Yisroel I am proud to be included in.

It works if you work it.

I am fat, sleepy, stupid and I love to procrastinate. This is who I am. But I have hope. :-)

Yehoshua, you are whomever you make yourself to be.
"Hope," however, will not get you there.
You can be a lot better, just like all of us can.
We need, acceptance, surrender and a plan of action.

b'hatzlachah

I thought you might say that Avrohom.

He didn't say he hopes this or that or the other. That would be the wishful thinking that afflicts so many addicts.

He said he has hope. I agree with him. There is hope for all of us.

I retract my objection to the second part.
Thank you for that clear distinction.
Perhaps that is what Shivisi was sayin' the other day.

Hi guys, first time posting. Hopefully the next step in reclaiming life.
One thing on my mind, id like to ask for experience. In the emails a common theme is "once a drunk always a drunk" does that mean that there is nothing to look forward to?!
And whats the whole deal with 90 days?

cordnoy wrote:


Kudos to you Cord! A true "Ish Emes" is one who owns up and can retract even something he was really really adamant about.
May others (myself included)take a lesson from you.

Thank you guys.


tzudreiter wellcome. I am wondering about the same things and the whole thing is scary. "once a drunk always a drunk". I think this is the truth. But there is hope, we have hope and that is something to look forward to in the darkest moments. I am Miha and I am addicted to porn and I have hope to be happy and I have hope that my life means something. Day by day it means something.

And that adds to 90 or to whatever. It is a good tool, I believe.

P.S. Take the trip. Start the 90 days, open a thread, write, post and keep on trucking!!!

I believe I have hope, that I will do that today :-)

shivisi wrote:


I am still adamant about the expression "I hope to get better."
The Doc stated that havin' 'hope' is ok.

Thanks

b'hatzlachah

Welcome tzudreiter!!!

What a user name!!

How about starting you're own thread in the Introduce Yourself section? Tell us about your story, how long you have been struggling, with what (porn, masterbation, more, less), what you have tried to stop, and anything else you fancy (as long as it's not inappropriate).

Hope to see you around, you're among understading friends, friends who are going through the same thing as you!!!

So don't be a stranger, Keep on Posting!!!

WELCOME! Have you read the handbook? Don't worry about the future. It's a sure ticket to failure. Focus on the task at hand. Staying sober now. Learning to live. Much of our acting out is about our attitude. Learning to deal with stress and other negative emotions in a healthy way can help us live better, and release us from the "need" to act out.

The 90 day chart is another tool that is often misused. There is no "90 days and I've got it made". There is a period of withdrawal for many people when they stop acting out. Over time it gets easier.

So take a deep breath. Tell us about yourself. We are all in the same boat and we are listening.

One more thought, what would you tell someone who is diagnosed with diabetes and has to take insulin for the rest of his life?

Having a problem for life, does not equal a life of misery. We learn to live with and "manage" it, not beat or overcome it. Although, perhaps some people do overcome it, especially if they are not that addicted.

Nice to meet you. Keep posting. Having a warm accepting chevra is a HUGE help.

I don't want this to become the focus of my life, i want to live the life free of worry...
Any helpful experience out there?