blb

welcome, our new friend!! Welcome home.

You're absolutely right. all we have is today. The past is gone, the future's not hear yet. Concemtrate one day at a time, dont look back at the count so often. "Hey, One Day I can do!!"

Post when u csan. looking forward to getting to know you.

Steve

yehoshua wrote on 03 Jun 2010 14:42:

Welcome aboard. (Wait: haven't I seen you before? Is there more than one Yehoshua here? Hmmn.. Anyhow....] The administrator of the Forum -- we call him Guard in case you don't know that -- is probably slogging through Ben Gurion (the airport, that is) back to his desk to catch up on welcoming folks like you.

In the meantime, welcome. And look around the front page of the site for all kinds of handbooks and stories and stuff that should be helpful. Feel free to send a PM (private message: look above for the link called messages!) if you get lost.

I found one piece of your intro particularly moving.  You know, out there in the mainstream culture (are you from the US?), the value is: "the one with the most toys when he dies, wins." In the frum culture, the value is, "how can I make the world a better place." Punktverkehrt (180 away). And seeing you put that down as part of your goal in life [don't make it your only goal: you're allowed to make yourself happy, too] says to me that your goals are aligned with His goals, which means you're gonna be getting LSD to hit your goals. Oh, LSD is Steve-talk (you just met him) for Lotsa Siyatta Dishmaya.

That's funny, I never knew I talked like that... but I like it, so i'm gonna use it from now on. The phrase, NOT the LSD.... Man, ONE addiction is ENOUGH for a person, don't ja think?

And thanx for reminding me, Briut:

Yehoshua, may your mother's neshama have an Aliya B'Shomayim. And what an amazing aliya it will be, cuz of her son's newfound quest for purity and kedusha. I am sure you will be helping her to rise higher in the heavenly spheres, thru the merits you'll be sending her like care packages.

So start reading reading reading, and posting posting posting.

Kol Tuv.

Y,

My heart goes out to you, my holy Brother.

Just keep hanging in there. Like the kids say: "You just do your best, and Hashem will take care of the rest."

Fear that causes procrastination I know very well. We're kindred spirits.

Think of this: "I am doing what is right, what i need to do to stay clean, and also what I need to do for my wife and me, for parnose. I have Hashem on my side, Hashem I ask You to give me of your strength to accomplish what i need. Hashem, please take away my fear - with You at my side, I need not fear, for i trust in you that the outcome of my efforts is up to you, it will be for the best according to YOU, not necessarily according to ME, and I accept that. You are in control of my life, not me. And now may I work hard and honestly to give it the best possible chance for success, and may it be successful if You desire it to be."

Believe me, writing that helped me also.

Hatzlacha Rabbah.

Just a random thought. Probably worthless  to you, but it might show that folks here care enough to post.

1.  Even the WORST of lectures (content-wise) can seem terrific when the lecturer clearly CARES about what he's giving over; when he sounds CONFIDENT in his substance and in his entitlement to be lecturing; when in short he makes the stuff SOUND compelling. You could probably read the d**n PHONE BOOK and have folks applaud if you could take this to the extreme. Of course you can't; NONE of us can; but even a small DOSE of it helps.

2. If your department head helped with the lecture, or with "seeding" the audience with a few adoring and loving members -- would it be better? Well, you've got the ultimate Department Head --indeed the Head of everything!!-- available to help you on this one. So, duh, just ASK Him. And then, know -- REALLY know -- that He's there with you making the audience love being there.  And then,

3. Relax and enjoy it. The Department Head wants you to. And it makes His job easier.

Welcome Yehoshua.

Did you install a strong filter? Have you read the GYE handbooks?

... why are you walking funny?

I fail to see why you were only depressed? I would have been outrageously HAPPY knowing i corrected my mistakes, and even admitted them B'rabbim. Did you know that the torah and the gemorrah both teach us that one who is REALLY embarrassed over an aveira gets a kapporah that moment from ALL his aveiros? Admitting mistakes, being embarrassed, then moving on to CORRECT those mistakes l'toelles haRabbim - THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION!!

I'D TAKE MY HAT OFF TO YOU, but since it's sunny right now, the resultant glare might blind some drivers. At the very least, it could mess up some of Hubbles photos.

So instead, in your honor, i'm gonna go home and eat some chocolate.

yehoshua wrote on 09 Jun 2010 10:45:

You're still here, and you're still trying, even though you fell!  That's not a dissappointment at all!

  --Eye.

yehoshua wrote on 09 Jun 2010 13:09:


Why!  That's a great question.

It looks like your main focus is on whether or not you are falling.

But, I think falling is usually just the end of the line.  The problem usually starts much earlier.  What thoughts and feelings are you having BEFORE your fall.  Depression, frustration?  Sometimes even elation will do the trick.  See if you notice anything.

yehoshua wrote on 11 Jun 2010 13:33:


I'm not trying to sound like Freud, but... why do you procrastinate?

There's probably something beyond that, too.

Good luck!

  --Eye.

yehoshua wrote on 18 Jun 2010 07:09:


Despair, self-pity and anger ARE the evil, my dear friend.

  --Eye.

yehoshua wrote on 09 Jun 2010 10:45:


I'm not someone that should be giving advice yet because I just started working on myself. However, I am clean already for four days and it's been a HUGE struggle.

I think that one of the basic things that one should try to do is to decide to keep away from the problematic area at all times. The "wrong place" is 100% off limits for me. I don't touch, don't look, and I try not to think about it or anything related to it. I had an issue with the shower and posted a question and I got some amazing responses. In a gist, most people suggested that we should keep our minds occupied with something else (perhaps even torah) and one person suggested not to touch or soap the area. I know that it's not very pleasnat but desperate times call for desperate measures!

Keep strong!

Good shabbos.

yehoshua wrote on 21 Jun 2010 07:14:


Just keep that up (and maybe philosophize a little less.  It's that philosophizing that tends to really get us).  Sounds like you're doing great!

  --Eye.