Hi - been lurking for a bit here and have always "meant to" post something, but there definitely was some mental/psychological barrier. For background been struggling with p&m for years. BH it's improved quite a bit, relatively, but still have a ways to go. I had a pretty bad fall recently, so I think it's a good idea to post here both for chizuk and some accountability. I'll post updates/thoughts here bl"n, and bez"h I'll keep on improving. Thank you all in advance for any thoughts you have to offer, it's a privilege to be a part of this group fighting the battle.

Welcome!

Posting and opening a thread is an important first step to getting the support you need to break free of the menace we’re all fighting…

Stick around, learn the ropes, and feel the tremendous sense of family and friendship these pages have to offer! So many people who want nothing more than to be able to help you break free.

if I can be so bold as to suggest you reach out to Hashem Help Me (michelgelner@gmail.com). He’s helped hundreds, me included. 

Or maybe if you’re lurking, you know already…….

Looking forward to seeing a lot from you,
Muttel

Welcome aboard to the warmest family in klal yisroel. What a smart move to post here. You won't regret it.

Please keep us posted.

Welcome! If you're looking for chizuk, try out these great free resources:

1) The Battle of the Generation: a sensational free ebook that seriously gets you excited to fight and win this fight. It's a real game-changer.

2) The Fight: an incredible audio series from Rabbi Shafier.

Links are below in my signature. Wishing you much success!

Thanks everyone!

Welcome on board,

Youv'e made one of the best moves in your life.

Posting here is what brought me to where I stand today!

Check out the many many resources.

And if I may suggest get on the phone to someone. It will make all the difference!

Thanks again everyone. Going to be going into shabbos 5 days clean BH. Weekends can be a bit harder sometimes, so I'll bln try to update how that goes. Definitely going to BLN check out the resources mentioned!

I believe there is a line from the Ponevezher Rav that can apply to you:



after the Holocaust the Ponevezher Rav came to Bnei Brak and decided on a piece of land where he would build a Yeshiva.

people around said: "YOU MUST BE DREAMING!!"

He responded: "I may be dreaming, but I'M NOT ASLEEP!!!!"



Reb Dreaming!

If you are posting here, looking for Chizuk and willing to work on yourself it means:



YOU ARE WIDE AWAKE!!!



Welcome aboard my dear friend!

 

Hey welcome! I'm new here to but i think once you get to the forum your already by chatsi nechama. Realizing that your not alone and your story's not unique but similar to so many of us out here. Chapping that this is our nisayon and were embracing it full force  keish echad belaiv echad ! All being mechazik each other . Get to know the oilom , reach out  be in touch .  hatslacha rooting for your succses.

day 14!
A big trigger of mine (not the only one, but a large one) is stress. BH haven't been too stressed recently so that's been good.

For my streak, I'm counting P/M/[inappropiate internet use thats not necessarily P] against it. However, there have been some "easy looks" on the street etc. Have not been 100% with those unfortunately, as naturally I don't see it as "as bad" as the other stuff. But reading some posts here Ive gained tremendous chizuk from other people posting about their stories and victories with even the "small stuff," and I believe I had more victories there than I otherwise would have had. Can't call a specific post out by name right now but thank you!

Hey congrats on another day clean! I can definitely relate to stress being a big trigger It's one of mine also.
thanks for the chizuk! 

Day 19

Regarding the inappropiate internet use I mentioned above that's counting against my streak, looking for advice on the following: What I meant by that statement was extended uses of internet (5-15+ minutes?) to view inappropiate media and succumbing to an urge to just keep on looking more and more. That's been OK so far bh.

However, there is some smaller way to briefly view some smaller images which my filter cannot block (it's a good filter, just the metzius). Now, these images aren't "that bad" and since my last update, I found myself sometimes having an urge to view some inappropiate pictures with it. Sometimes with Hashem's help I was able to win the fight, and others I did not. But when I did not, BH about half a minute to a couple minutes later I stopped - as I mentioned, it's not that huge a bypass, and not "that tempting." It's more just a "quick look."

However, in my mind "not that tempting" equates to "not that bad." And truthfully, it's not as bad as p/m. But it is assur nevertheless! Due to comparing it to p/m, I have trouble recognizing that it's bad/assur at all, at least in the moment. Anyone have any advice for developing this mindset? I could reset my streak counter for it, but I think that would be counterproductive to focusing on avoiding "larger items" right now. But that whole mindset of "larger" and "smaller" items is the issue in the first place...thanks!

It's a very good, and important, question.

I don't have a good answer for you. Perhaps it may be helpful for you to frame it as "this is a smaller thing, but doing this smaller thing inevitably leads to bigger and badder things."

While of course halachically lo sasuru includes even small pictures, for many of us it's hard to shift into that mindset when we've been trampling it for so long. But this mindset I'm suggesting may be easier to incorporate.

I wanna plug an amazing program, Wizmage. It's a browser extension that covers all images, even google search page which the frum filters notoriously cannot block. It's a very small, easy thing. It only takes one click to turn off, but that one click is sometimes enough of a reminder that you don't want to see these pictures.

Shoutout to Frank.Lee for introducing me to it. Hope you're doing good buddy! We miss you on here.

Thanks! Appreciate the insight. I know of wizmage but unfortunately it wont help in this situation (it's not a browser program - dont want to say more here for obvious reasons).

yeah I definitely see how developing the mindset of what it could lead to could help here. maybe ill work on that