Sounds great, keep us posted!

Quick update:
B"h things are going well! passed the three week marker, had some really hard days last week (basically withdrawal) intense feelings of loneliness suffocating. Don't know how I made it through but B"H I did.
I talked to my wife and set aside times during the week to exercise so I could keep that up.
Hope to keep up the good news but got to keep my guard up, no room for complacency!

Very impressive!  Keep it up!

Trying to keep current with the posting.
Wow! almost at 4 weeks, feels easier to turn away from looking at women dressed immodestly, but still feel the nisayon and sometimes it gets draining. I forgot how exhausting the zman is, putting myself fully into learning is hard on the mind and body, and it makes the fight so much harder if I come home at the end of the day drained with a headache. I hope that getting more sleep at night will help with that.
OK that's pretty much it for now, IY"H I'll have more good news as things go along, again any tips or chizuk that you guys can give is greatly appreciated!

Hi, I wanted to let you know that I took your advice to heart and added a daily chizuk. Thanks for the idea, I feel that it is helping greatly.

Hopefulposek wrote on 30 Aug 2023 18:00:

Kudos for taking advice! I don't know if it was hard for you (for me it's been), but it is smart and respectable of you, if I can say it. Hatzlacha, keep your head down and your chin up

OK so B"H I made it a full month (YAY!), time for some reflections and for some setting up for the coming month.
Reflections:
1) by far the hardest times are immediately after a fall not going into binge mode and during the couple days of burn out/withdrawal where I feel all alone and empty inside. Really I don't have any solid plan for dealing with these two areas so if anyone has any idea that they have found useful please let me know.
2) once I made it past the withdrawal things were pretty much smooth sailing getting into a reflex of "see a pretty girl, eyes to the ground." it's not a perfect system because there still is the nisayon to look but if I pass them quickly it fades quick. However if i find myself in a place where I'm constantly bombarded with pritzus this wouldn't fare so well.
3) having a daily check-in really helps me keep focused and aware of my success.
For the future:
1) I'm going to slowly try to shift my focus from "Don't be involved in P and M" to "Having a more healthy lifestyle through establishing good habits".
2) up until now I've been having small increment goals (three days at a time is typical to setup a goal and reward system) I am going to start to elongate the terms to five days at a time.
3) Just Keep on Fighting and Marching forward!!!!!!
Thanks for everyone who responds and likes my posts honestly would not be the same without the reactions and it really does help me keep moving forward in this journey.

Great points, thank you so much!

These practical points are solid and helpful to everyone.

I really appreciate your point about focusing not only on "defense" - avoiding negative sights -  but also on "offense". The positives of a Tahara lifestyle. Wholesome living מי האיש החפץ חיים אוהב ימים לראות טוב

Keep on climbing!

Respectfully,

Chaim Oigen

chaimoigen wrote on 06 Sep 2023 13:14:

Great important point! If I may add, instead of a person merely saying, “I can’t look at that stimulus,” he can say, “By looking elsewhere, I can achieve Hashem’s good plan for me.” Similarly, if a person is struggling with an urge, rather than saying, “I will feel bad if I do this,” he can say, “I will feel uplifted and good if I resist.” Moreover, rather than focusing on aveirah and onesh (punishment), he should focus on the huge mitzvah that he will gain, the great reward that he will receive, and the kedushah that he will acquire via his effort to keep himself pure. Such positive approaches do not trigger the counterforce within the person and, on the contrary, they provide more positive and healthy motivation and reinforcement for additional constructive actions in the future. 

Hey guys,
OK, I'm not sure how to write this in the right way but i want to express what I'm feeling so here goes,
When I initially started this posting/blog/thread I really didn't have a ton of confidence in myself and thought "Who is gonna want to read what I have to say? Why are my insights on this struggle going to be valuable to others?" there were definitely a few times when I didn't see many responses that I lost the spark and considered not posting because "Who cares?"
When I opened up the thread today and saw that three people had commented on what I had written and seemed to find my words valuable it gave me a tremendous feeling of self worth (not to be confused with chizuk to keep going because everyone here is rooting for me which is another real feeling) so I want to really thank everyone who reads/responds to/likes the thread.

On a second note, just to clarify what I meant in the last post: until now I had a daily checkin not just on gye but also on a personal calendar that i keep, I would simply give a check if I didn't have a fall and an X if I did, occasionally noting when there was a hard day. Now each day is split into 3 parts: 1) is still how my shmiras eiynayim was that day, 2) whether I did any exercise, and 3)what time I got into bed to go to sleep (I try and be in bed before 10).
These are the healthy habits I'm trying to work on and in which I feel tremendous success and progress as I go along. The reasoning for this is as follows: It's very hard to get excited from a checkin between days 50-90 for me, I don't appreciate making it to day 51 more than day 53 (I know that it is a big deal but it's hard to feel that way) the difference is just to slim to have it create a positive emotional feeling, instead I am working on establishing different habits. establishing a better sleep pattern is going to be exciting and feel progressive and growing until it really sets in (which given the constant craziness in life may take around a month), the same with exercising.
I found in the past that after day 50 i would slack off of the daily checkin and i want to avoid this happening therefore I am creating other ways to stay into it. This is besides the fact that establishing these habits are super important to maintaining good mental and emotional health which is key to a successful battle.
OK thanks everyone for listening and thanks to those who pointed out that I should also try and focus on the positives of not being involved in P and M and the upliftment that it brings.
Until next time, keep on marching forward against the oncoming hail of enemy fire, ducking dodging and weaving in-between the blows of the foe, until we ALL arrive victorious at the other side of the trenches! 

Dear Hopefulposek,

IMHO, you wrote that exactly the right way!

Thanks for sharing, and being real! Many others (including myself) are inspired by you.

mailer wrote on 06 Sep 2023 20:24:

I may date myself by saying this but : "MEGADITTOS"

HI everyone on day 39 now and feeling good. Still have to keep my guard up, even though I'm not triggered as often now there is still a lot of pritzus out there and if I don't actively avoid it and look away when it comes up it will sink in and can drag me back.
About to round 40 days and definitely very excited! Iy"h I hope to do a long post before R"H and Y"K reflecting back on the years progress (I started GYE sometime right before last R"H) but until then let's just keep on marching towards the glowing gates of redemption that Hashem is waiting to open for us!

Hi everyone!
I started my journey last year on the 25th of Elul and i want to do a year of reflection, hopefully it will come out clear and meaningful to those who read it:
I have been battling this war for so long, but never really putting up a good fight. Then there was a moment, I had access to P on my computer and was in the habit of using regularly, I wanted to stop, it was hurting my marriage and I was always so afraid my wife would find out, after falling hard one day I said "Enough!" I need help. I think I saw a ad for GYE on yeshiva world news and clicked on it and watched the promotional video. I remember crying as it described what I was going through and the pain and suffering that so many endure. after watching it I signed up for GYE and started the F2F program.
It was amazing, for the first time in my life I had some amount of control, I was actually battling the soton and not always hitting the mat. I didn't make it to 90 days right away, and I still had some hard times, but right before purim I made it. 90 days! I was so excited, thats it, I'm free!
Well almost, a few weeks later I fell, hard. and then again. and again. Back to fighting, trying to make it past the withdrawal and then falling again. There was a time I decided to quit GYE and stop fighting. I was done and just to exhausted to keep up the fight. Then after falling again I chose to get back up. I knew that I couldn't lead my life this way, I took more and more steps to head in the right direction, everytime the soton got in somewhere I would slam the door on his face. He moves so quick finding new nisyonos everyday and every week, but Hashem is on my side and continued to grant me strength ingenuity and resolve through the various skirmishes.
I'm still not out of the woods yet but I am happy to be on the way to 90 days again.
One of the amazing things which strikes me in the days leading up to the Yom HaDin: I think every year since I got hooked on P and M i davened to hashem to forgive me on RH and YK usually adding that "this year I will stop" and every year I was embarrassed to ask for it again because I hadn't stopped that year. 
This is the first year that I can stand in front of the Borei Olem, the master of the world, who has showered me which unmeasurable kindness and say "Hashem, I really tried this year. I may have not tried my hardest all the time, but please forgive me for those moments and please Hashem continue to grant me strength to fight this fight."
Thank you to everyone part of GYE for helping me come to this moment.
Humbly, and with tremendous awe at the inspiring stories and convictions I see on this site,
Hopefulposek