wilnevergiveup wrote on 13 Mar 2022 06:40:

Internal work means building our mindset and our clarity.. Because we can’t overcome this nisayon if our minds don’t match our internet filters. 
unfortunately porn is everywhere and a necessary component to be successful in breaking free is to build our clarity that we don’t want this stuff. Therefore we’d never start “looking” for exciting material. And that’s where it usually starts so what I meant was Twitter is a very dangerous place. One should not be there to begin with it’s too close to the enemy regardless of why one is on the site.. but If we would have our clarity built in like a stone into our head then we wouldn’t start looking on Twitter for garbage. We would do what we need to do and next. Yes, Going on that site is a grave silly mistake but the goal is If we would find ourselves on that site we shouldn’t become a reck. 

one who has his inner clarity very clear and has the most basic filter should see a lot of success. One who doesn’t work on his mindset much and doesn’t have much of an ingrained value system can have the best filtering in the world yet he won’t see long-term success cuz his brain doesn’t match his filtering settings so eventually he looks for loopholes etc and we know where that road leads to……  

Hey buddy, we miss your posts on the forum here! Your streaks don’t define your avodas hashem in the slightest. You showed the entire GYE a lot of commitment and investment in this struggle! Looking forward to seeing the holy human being here more often! :-)

On day 21 fellows slowly getting back to 58! Baruch hashem things are going great. Bain hazmanim is coming. I'm going to need a lot of siyyata dishmaya!

Human being wrote on 22 Mar 2022 21:12:

And if I may add, some planning.

Ditto. Get good advice from the chevra here how to plan for bain hazmanim. For "one who fails to plan, plans to fail".

day 1! I WILL GET TO 90! I DONT GIVE A DAMN

As a fellow traveler on day 1, I concur. May we both make it to 90 and beyond together.

(And I also don't give a damn).

If i could join in on that im also starting day 1 today

Human being wrote on 29 Mar 2022 02:12:

Hey your awesome! Knowing you the amount I know you which is a tiny drrrop. I’ve quickly learned your a very deep guy and emotionally aware which can be so helpful in this struggle. A big part of success is Clarity! what are some reasons you wanna get to 90? Why not 60 and fall and 60 and fall? You’ll only fall around 6 times a year… what’s wrong with it? You seem like you REALLY wanna get rid of porn in your life.. why? How does it make you feel? What’s wrong with watching once in a while? Secondly, we know CBT is based on how our thoughts effect us. Before you fell you had some thoughts which led to the fall.. I can imagine one of them was the idea that porn is an option. And how good it would be to watch porn etc. once we understand that then we can work toward dealing with those thoughts which will prevent future falls etc. Understanding all this is the foundation. Then we can move ahead with planning…here are some ideas, 

1. A Ratzon is the most important to creating change and the strongest tool that’ll bring that is clarity. Therefore, we must ask “do I have a strong foundation of clarity of what I’m trying to implement and how it’s beneficial”?
2. Learn more about yourself: what gets in the way of making this goal easy to reach? Perhaps it’s a time factor? Lack of clarity? Easy access to certain things? Our mindset and view of different ideas?
3. Once we understand #2 then we can avoid the things that get in the way (for example, for some it can be not taking my phone into the bathroom or Shutting it off before I go into bed etc) 
4. We can also create a mechayev on the goal itself AND on the things that get in the way of the goal. (For example, if I don’t review my affirmations of clarity about this journey each night by midnight then i can’t eat breakfast the next morning one can also add- however, if I make it up before noon the next morning then this penalty is disregarded)
5. Set a specific time to get the activity done. (For ex. I must go jogging on Sunday between these times)
6. Think ahead: what’s gonna keep me going long term? Do I have something to motivate me? What will keep me in place? Will I build my clarity often? (I would suggest some sort of Self-Talk or accountability partner etc. This in itself is a plan and one can use the ideas in this very list to make this tool successful)
7. Create a backup plan. What will be the plan if I mess up with this plan? (For ex. I’ll go jogging Monday morning or I’ll review my affirmations the next day twice or I’ll call an accountability partner etc)

This is such a challenging journey. 

Human being wrote on 03 May 2022 05:22:

Especially if you are traveling alone....

Well i made it to 9 days. That has been the longest so far in the past 2 1/2 months. i had gotten a device to post every day but it wasnt a smart idea. i uninstalled the filter a few times then gave it to my parents. after taking it from their room and going on youtube for innapngs i just smashed it and threw it out. so now i dont have daily accsess to a device to update. 

i pretty much cant go near any computer without screwing up. 

Here we go again! # day by day step by step

Just read your thread and my heart goes out to you. As a single guy you may not have the emotional support and distraction a wife and kids can provide (though of course doesn't always work that way).

Something to consider is that right now Hashem wants you to work on this issue, so work it. That means do everything in your power to change your mood so that you can control your desires. If it means going for a run, then go for a run. If it means leaving a wedding, then leave the wedding or don't go. You don't have to be afraid. But do things to change how you're feeling. As you already know the urgency of an urge passes.

Also, I know for myself that I don't always invest in friends, activities etc. that can give me emotional support/outlets but I should. Now is the time to invest. It's a mitzva. If you don't already, put yourself out there. A mitzva that could help you for the rest of your life.

Kavey wrote on 10 Jun 2022 18:06:

This is a gorgeous powerful post! Thank you! 

25 days. my 3rd longest streak. 28 days is my second to longest. Still don't have a computer to update daily or weekly. I was falling on the same computers I was using for gye so I stopped using them.